Archive | Movie Reviews RSS feed for this section

Klan Do Attitude

BlacKkKlansman
Spike-d Punch
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

R | 135 min

A black cop and Jewish cop go undercover as a single white minority-hating male to infiltrate a Colorado chapter of the Klu Klux Klan – and even trick former Grand Wizard and still current a$$hole David Duke into thinking they’re believers.  What a story!  And a true one, as told in entertaining fashion as BlacKkKlansman by the once relevant, then once kinda irrelevant, and now with this movie very relevant Spike Lee!

Ron Stallworth was a real black cop, who really duped the Klan, but a lot of what the movie presents is fiction to pulp up the storytelling.  The activist girlfriend and explosive racial throwdown towards the end?  Made up.  The Jewish guy who played the physical manifestation (who appeared to do most of the actual leg work) of the mouthpiece that Stallworth first presented to the Klan on the phone?  He may not even been Jewish in reality, but I see where Spike is going here with all the embellishment – doubling down on the ‘all power to all people’ to brush back against those seeking only bigotry thry white power – yesterday, today and forever.  But did he have to hammer the message so hard?

We spend about 2 hours enjoying the lighthearted and fun (that’s how it truly felt) tale of Stallworth (John David Washington, who doesn’t really give the character any depth beyond the giant prop afro) and his Jewish partner (Adam Driver, who is not Jewish) + Steve Buscemi’s brother Michael getting cozy with a bunch of actors who are allowed free reign to say a lot of nasty nasty NASTY things about blacks and Jews onscreen (Jasper Pääkkönen – whose performance stands above everyone else’s, and whose umlauts know no bounds + Paul Walter Hauser, who after this and I, Tonya, should just be cast in every movie).  They thwarted and embarrassed the Klan, and everyone in the police department (and the audience) had a good laugh about it in the end!

And then?  Spike Lee was probably upset that no one saw Bamboozled and didn’t get the message of how awful our country is on race, and so he had to tack on baiting footage at the end of white nationalists (with David Duke included) wrecking horrible havoc last year in Charlottesville.  Yes, it’s relevant to the movie that proceeded it, but its tone, its message and delivery all feel sloppy and completely unnecessary.  Come to think of it, the beginning of the film, with a clip of Gone With The Wind, followed by some racist nonsense spewed by Alec Baldwin (as a made up character with the very made up name of ‘Kennebrew Beauregard’) is out of place too.  These bookends may seek to bring focus to the bigger picture, both onscreen and off it, but it ends up muddling the movie, and the message

When the end credits started to roll, a gentlemen in the audience yelled – ‘fcuk America!’  And then when I went to the bathroom, a gentleman who obviously saw the same movie was mouthing to himself – ‘fcuking crackers!’, and I knew he wasn’t talking about Saltines

Yes, it’s OK to be upset and enraged, and we all should be, because the KKK suck and no one should spending so much of their time and energy hating other people, but I feel Spike did more harm than good by being so blatant and provocative.  The same message would have come across if the movie stuck to the fun and lighthearted delivery.  It will all only be worth it if the outrage is matched by something more important – getting people to vote to make actual change

Verdictgo: as entertainment - Jeepers Worth A Peepers | as a political statment – Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Klansmane burns crosses and bridges theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

who wore it best?

Topher Grace as David Duke?

or

Garrick Hagon as Biggs Darklighter

0 Comments

Our Bodies, Ourselfies

Eighth Grade
Adolescencesible
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

R | 94 min

I needed to see this Eighth Grade.  I was prepared to go it alone, but my wife is like, you can’t be a 40 year old man sitting in a theater seeing this solo.  So we went together!

And so I got to relive being an awkward middle school kid all over again, thru a girl (an INCREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIBLE Elsie Fisher) who had a 238943782382383 times more of an awkward time during that time than I did!  And today’s kids have it worse!  They have phones and all the BS and loneliness that comes along with the pressures of social media and not being present in the moment!!  OMG – this movie nails it!!  EAT IT LADY BIRD!!  You don’t know nothing Lady Bird.  Eighth Grade knows everything!! Cause Bo knows!! Bo Burnham knows!  Dude was a YouTube star, or so they tell me cause I am old and don’t know anything relevant that happened post-1999.  Whatever Bo did or does, he channeled it perfectly into a debut movie that has me thirsty for more.  BRING US NINTH GRADE!!! And more from this wondrous soundtrack music by Anna Meredith!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Eighth makes the Grade currently at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

ps – loved the dorky kid (Jake Ryan) and how he put the McDonalds dipping sauces in ROY G BIV order (not pictured here)

0 Comments

The Ethan Hunt For More of Your Money

Mission: Impossible – Fallout
Impossible Missions Forced
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

PG-13 | 148 min

Nothing is impossible in the Mission: Impossible series, and nothing is possibly left to say or do as #6 – Fallout – shows.  The movie is fine.  It’s fun… enough.  It’s like all the other movies, cept this one is in Paris, London and Kashmir (but no love for Led Zepp?)!  But this one has Henry Cavill!  And this movie uses Cavill better than the Superman movies do or the flick that was suppose to launch his own Mission: Impossible-like line - The Man From U.N.C.L.E.  I mean, look at how he takes off his jacket and pump his fists and whoop sum ass!!!

But aside from Cavill, the rest is literally bidness as usual.  Tom Cruise climbs stuff and makes things happen. And yet people continue to question whether he can make things happen, and then Ving Rhames assures whoever is questioning such a thing that ‘same ole Ethan’s got it covered.  Where’s the fun in that?  Same fun as it ever was?

I dunno.  Maybe for #6, ditch Ving and ‘funny’ Simon Pegg, somehow clone Cavill, and make the next mission all about watching Rebecca Ferguson shower for 148 minutes???  Make it POSSIBLE!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers, I guess???

Mission is made Possible currently at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

The Mother of Intervention

Three Identical Strangers
The Jewish Boys From Brazil
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

PG-13 | 96 min

Triplets, adopted off to three separate homes within 6 months of their birth, and no knowledge that each other existed… until they miraculously found each other decades later and changed everything forever!  Hooray!!  Look at those smiles – best story ever, right?  Three Identical Strangers is definitely a best story (and a BEST documentary), but the brothers’ full story isn’t an endless trio of peaches and cream and sugar.  Things go bad!  Secrets are revealed!  And I won’t reveal them – but it’s like a Jewish version of The Boys From Brazil!!!  So fcuked up!  HAS TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!!! SEE!!  BELIEVE!!!! 

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
Seriously, How Could I Resist You???
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

PG-13 | 114 min

It wasn’t suppose to be like this.  The sequel was suppose to be another round of Dia Rrhea!, BUT IT WASN’T!!!  Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again dared me to have fun, and dogfcukingdammit – I HAD A SUPER FUN TIME!!!  It turned me from a super pooper into a SUPER TROOPER!!!!  It was like eating endless Skittles – a rainbow of sugary goodness!!!!  Did I get softer 10 years later or is the movie actually good?  Both?  Meryl Streep is basically absent, and even without the First Lady of Acting, the party goes on – and it rages!!  And while it’s somehow REALLY nice to see the old gang again, it’s even nicer to meet their younger version selfves (especially young Christine Baranski via Jessica Keenan Wynn, and young Julie Walters via Alexa Davies) through even more fun flashbacks!!  And we got new fun folks – like Andy García and Cher and Cher’s new face that can’t move, and she can’t really dance, but she still has them pipes so who cares if her body or face can’t move!  YOU CAN MOVE AND GROOVE IN YOUR SEATS ON HER BEHALF!

Now can we stop celebrating the songs of ABBA by way of karaoke, and get the band back together and on the road?  Heck, I’ll even take ABBA holograms! 

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Mamma nurtures at theaters everywhere today, and Strangers natures currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

What The World Needs Now Is (Fred Rogers’) Love

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
LOVEd Thy Neighbor
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

PG-13 | 94 min

The world has always been a horrible place, but it was a much better one with Fred Rodgers in it, being the Mister master of his neighborhood, and in turn, yours and ours.  Now, I loved me some Mister Rogers, but I cannot say that I remember watching the show beyond pre-K (or remember much of what I actually saw), but him and his sweaters have always been in the back of my mind, recessed on permanent recess.  Well, Fred and his sweaters were brought back to the forefront of my mind, and there they will remain, after seeing the BEYOND MUSS SEE doc by Morgan Neville - Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

You don’t need to be a Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood devotee to be comforted by this warm blanket of a movie.  All you need to be is a human, to be retaught what it means to be human and a compassionate one by the guy who seemed to get that more than anyone – Fred Rogers.  Once destined for the clergy, Rogers was also an expert in working with children and their complex feelings, and when he saw how shoddy television was for the youth of yesterday, he made it his mission that the adolescence evolution will be televised!  The rest is history – a cheerful one, that had me shedding ENDLESS tears of joy, but also tears of sadness.  I was sad cause Mister Rogers is no longer with us, and in today’s day and rage, we need his kind shoulder to lean on more than ever.

The world is better off Fred

:)

also, bonus points for a photo of a man’s ass making a cameo in this doc!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Neighbor is headed to your neighborhood SOON!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment
eXTReMe Tracker