Voulez-Boos

31. Jul, 2008 1 Comment

The X-Files:
I Want to Believe
A Sorry X-Cuse For A Second Feature
Trailers & Mo

Like with Dr Jones, it’s a pleasure to catch-up once again with our old pals Mulder and Scully, we juss wish the reunion was packaged with something both familiar and mind-blowing, and not lackluster and half-assed. This second X-Files big screen adventure is a lot like the first one, cept it has less to do with the show’s delicious mythology (if yer looking for aliens see Crystal Skull instead) and more to do with wasting everyone’s time (unless yer really into questioning faith and religion). The production of the film was shrouded in secrecy, but what’s the point when there’s nothing within this basic serial killerish film worth holding the beans back from spilling. Guess the only secret was how plain this film turned out to be. It is kinda entertaining, but we expect more from team X, as this stand-alone piece is just that, standing by itself, far from what made the series so darn franztastic to begin with. While we are treated to sum lovely tender moments between Duchovny and Anderson (although they spend way too much screentime apart… probably the result of shooting schedule conflicts), everything else in play is ho-hum. The only thing supernatural goings on here is Billy Connolly as a child-raping priest/physic, and the rest seems very super-unnatural, like newcomers Xzibit and Amanda Peet, who both add very little to the effort (they should left Xzibit off the screen and figured out a way to use his killah song ‘Paparazzi’ instead). We’re kinda tossed on whether they should even bother with a third flick, but the fact remains that the truth is still out there since I Want To Believe is juss a bunch of truthiness

The Hank Moody Boobs: Mulder is so yesterday’s news thanks to Duchovny’s work and all play banging hot chicks on Showtime’s Californication [NSFW]

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Mamma Mia!
My My, How Can We Resist You? Very Easily
Trailers & Mo

This past decade has seen its fair share of stage musicals making a bumpy transition to celluloid. For every Sweeney Todd or Hedwig that are able to make the magic work, there are at least a handful that repoop it up like Phantom of The Poopera or Poopspray or Low-Rent or The Pro-Poopers or Nightmaregirls. Mama Mia! is another one to add to the poopfest list. They woulda been better off calling it Dia Rrhea! OK, it’s not as awful as one would think, but after about 3 songs into this ABBA karaoke-a-thon yer gonna wanna run home and listen to Agnetha, BjÃ¶rn, Benny and Anni-Frid sing the tunes instead of whatever butcher shop Meryl Streep and co have opened for bidness. We’re glad that they were having such a great time onscreen, but maybe they could figured out a way to transfer some of that fun to the paying audience. This may not be the movie musical’s Waterloo, but it’s certainly its Waterpoop

Remington Shrill: we pity poor Pierce Brosnan. he’s got a lovely voice for talking (and audio tours), but not so much when it comes to singing. he’s down right slight yer ears off repoopulous, yet we can’t stop listening to his duet with Meryl on ‘S.O.S.’ [d]

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

both films are playing at a theater new Jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…