Thighs Wide Shut

Toy Story 4
Bo-Weep
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
G | 100 min

I know it’s a movie, and they are cartoons, of toys, but Bo-Peep is so fine (and so is the woman behind the voice – Annie Potts).  Woody is so lucky (we are all so lucky these movies exist!  they are GIFTS!!!) 

Never have I wanted two Disney characters to kiss like I did with Bo and Woody.  Spoiler alert – they don’t in this movie.  BUT THEY DID IN #1!!!  WHY THEN BUT NOT NOW??? But it’s OK – the getting gets good enuff between our hero and newly elevated heroine in Toy Story 4!! 

But c’mon Disney – let them kiss – especially after all they’ve been thru!!! 

Even my foxy girl Marian gave our foxy boy Robin a little smooch in my beloved Robin Hood! (and there was talk of them having kids!!!)

Man, Disney has gotten so soft. 

Ye olde Daisy and Donald used to be so graphic with their affections! 

Hopefully Toy Story 5 goes in a new direction – hentai!

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers 

Toy Story 4 lyfe, at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Toy Story 3
Show & Mattel
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

This review is pointless, cause you’ve already seen (and loved) it, but… Toy Story 3 is like Toy Story 1 + 2 + more kids and more toys (Ken, of Barbie fame, is tres bestest), some of them being mean toys, some a little too mean (is Ned Beatty getting payback for getting raped in Georgia?) and one that looks like it came from a Tool video.  Don’t expect the unexpected (same ole story: the toys get into some sorta trouble, other toys come to the rescue, escape plan ensues, everyone will probably live happily ever after), cause #3 is par for the course (cept now in glorious, pointless 3-D!), a course that happens to be one of modern animation’s best.  There is no wrong to be found in this third edition, and yet there seems to be nothing fresh about it either.  But who cares, it’s Toy Story.  They could do a whole toy story about how Woody and Buzz become Nazi sympathizers and it would still make our hearts pitter-patter.  And if you muss know, we did cry at the end, cause we’re giant wusses

The Fisher Price Is Right: ye olde washed-up toys make a big splash in TS3, particularly those from the fine folks at Fisher Price, like the Chatter Phone, and this Little People Parking Garage beauty that makes a brief cameo…

Verdictgo: are we allowed to give it anything but a Breast In Show?

Toy toys with yer heart and yer pocketbook at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…