Scene But Not Herd Is The Werd

NEWSFLASHINTHEPAN!!
Mischa Barton Walks Down Street With Man!


[via ONTD]


• Borat Sagdiyev takes advantage of Mississippi, again.

• Elliot Smith – North Six – 6/6/03 [Forever Youth]

• The Cars Strokes to fly south for the winter fall. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

• Former Congressman and greasemonkey, Ben ‘Cooter‘ Jones is the new RottenTomaotes.com. Here’s his rotten take on the new Dukes flick, ‘the movie is a sleazy insult… and is like taking ‘I Love Lucy’ and making her a crackhead or something.’ [via The REAL Jonah]

• CollegeHumor.com mcnabbs a deal with Paramount to make movies with… college humor. So when is Dreamworks SKG hittin me up to filmology my autobiography, Lord of the Thighs (with music mash-up by Aerosmith/Breeders). But moist importantly, when is a movie going to be developed about Good Humor ice cream trucks? [via Dirk Fiddler]

• I don’t think the Pope smokes dope, or was ever a kid.

• Love Jews AND drawings? Then may I recommend Wild Things: The Art of Maurice Sendak at the Jewish Museum. Juss remember, they closed Saturdays because they hate Christians and need time to prepare goy children for sacrifices.

• I heart Poop

• Footballers Wive$ has a chance of being decent spankable.

• The greatest website that never was: Zealott.com [Disclaimer: that is my friend’s failed venture from halcyon years of the internets and yet it still lives with ZERO CONTENT!!!]

• Hi Res Eva Mendes or Nikki Cox, Erwin M Fletcher you choose!!

• Father finds Mariah Carey’s lame-o nip slip, but which one of yous out there was trying to find ‘‘mandy moore nipple slit‘?

• And I ask you dear reader (or searcher of ‘nip slits’), what’s the one thing you be sick to meth of me shoving down yer jazzhole day after day upon day? Praising anything Damon Albarn does? Pointing out Vince Vaughn’s lack or hair/talent? Talkin bout how I ate microwaved tunafish sandwiches off your girlfriend’s chest? Well, nows be yer chance to give that hot topic that makes your blood boil and mohel bleed a nice 2 week vacation. Dat’s right folks, juss shemail me your Thighs Wide Hate, with a brief explanation as to why/thigh, and whichever person/place/or bling gets the most love (hate) they will be excommunicated from this dot org for a fortnight!!! Lettuce pretend that Lohag is chosen as the taboo subject, then even if she invents hoverboards, bangs Sandra Day O’Connor, and re-records Ween’s Pure Guava, NONE of it will get a mention… for two whole wheat weeks!! The only eggceptions to the rule are yours drooly, cause I know you love it when I talk about my grundle, and Her Royal Thighness the III (or Masha, as her fam and friens call her), who can only be exiled by me, the Henry the VIII of the ’05.

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