Thighs Wide Shut

The Haunting In Connecticut
Funeral Parlor Games Without Frontiers
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

There are two kinds of horror movies these daze: ones that are gross out gorefests like Saw and ones that are Michael Bay produced remakes of killer classics. Both kinds are usually not worth see-Sawing. The remakes makes re-sense to us for being, but they never improve upon the source material and are thus less-point. So how comes no one makes horror movies like the old ones that work, but piece it together using fresh or unused material? The Haunting In Connecticut is thankfully a decent recent answer to that question, as this (loosely) based off an actual true story feels more like one of those olde classics, ala The Exorcist or Amityville Horror, even if it isn’t necessarily a classic in its own right

The Snedeker family, renamed in the film as the Campbells (with mum and pop played by Virginia Madsen and Martin Donovan), move into a big olde creepy house that was once a funeral parlor that doubled as a hot spot for vomiting ectoplasm. The rent’s cheap, so they don’t really care about its shady past, as they have bigger fish to fry, like dealing with their teenage son(Kyle Gallner)’s cancer and his treatments at a nearby hospital. The son moves into the basement and that’s when the visions, slamming doors and other thangs that go michael bumpus in the night start to happen. At first only cancer boy experiences the house’s deep dark secrets, and eventually the whole family joins in on the not so fun. Of course these folks shoulda moved out at the first sign of trouble, but they don’t, then shiz gets worse, then Elias Koteas comes into to sprinkle holy water on the place, and then more shiz gets even more crazy worse (& a lil overdone) and then… Zardoz guess you may have to see the movie to find out

Strife As A House: the current owners of the house are none to happy with the all this new unwanted attention and the unwanted (living) visitors that comes along with it

Verdictgo: Jeepers Creepers Worth A Peepers

Goodbye Solo
Bestest Solo Since Han
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Solo (Souleymane Sy Savane) is a glass half full Senegalese cab driver in North Carolina, who’s ambition in life is to become an airline steward and support his young family. The grizzled old man saying goodbye to him is glass mostly empty William (Red West, a member of Elvis’ Memphis Mafia). The two strike up an unlikely friendship as William hires Solo to take him to a mountain range in a few weeks time, with no questions asked. Leading up to their final fare well (get it, cab fare, farewell!), chatty Solo does his best to raise a smile on the grumpy gus, while finding out the cause of his grumpy gussedness. The story itself is as thin as the cast of 90210II, but this baby succeeds on the subtle power of the two leads’ performances. Solo‘s director Ramin Bahrani aint no household name, and probably never will be, but that shouldn’t (house)hold you or anyone else (from your household) back from seeing this brilliant humanist film, or his other strong previous efforts (Man Push Cart and Chop Shop). Solo is currently rocking a 100% score on Rotten Tomatoes. If that ringing endorsement for this bromance aint good enuff for you, then juss go ahead and waste yer time watching pufflepuff stuff like I Bore You, Man

Bitched @ Swirth: we’re setting the odds at 3 to 1 that when Jared Harris is 73 years old he’ll look eggzactly like Red West

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Guest of Cindy Sherman
Standing In Shadows of Groantown
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Paul Hasegawa-Overacker (aka Paul H-O) went from obscure art scene outsider, with his 90’s NY public access TV show Gallery Beat, to ultimate scenester insider, when he became photography icon Cindy Sherman‘s companion for 5 or so years. He was living out his ultimate fantasy, flying with Sherman across the globe and hobnobbing with the crème de’ le’ crème of snobby von snobbyensteins (although Julian Schnabel wasn’t much of a fan, but then again, does Schnabs like anyone?), but being her +1 took its toll on his psyche and their relationship as well. This incredibly fun documentary gives us a rare insight it what it’s like to be that other person, who often gets told by cameramen to stand aside on red carpets, and is forced to sit at separate tables at bourgeois dinners far away from their loved ones. This expose, co-directed by the sunny H-O, focuses more on the Guest than Sherman, but there’s plenty goodies to go round about the ironically camera-shy artist and her work to make this a dual purpose bio an absolute treat

Step Up: one of Sherman’
s former stepdaughters is Gaby Hoffman, better know as Uncle Buck’s lil niece and the lil girl in Field of Dreams

Verdictgo: Guest In Show

Solo and Sherman open today in limited release, while Haunting opens at a theater near Jews

hows cums none of yous told me about this mon-pubis-e-mental moment in gaming?

V is back!

first pics of Falkor’s sister, aka Mushka Barfon, on the set of Lezzing Out To Faux Russian Lezzie Muzik + bonus vid

Kwik-E-Marts, fo realsies!!!

Harrison rides Shia

to DI for: David Brent & Gareth Keenan tackle
‘Free Love on the Freelove Highway’, LIVE!!!

Lily Allen is a hotter Amy Wine-whore

MTV’s Julie Brown, not of the downtown variety, is still alive!

Pinder’s boobies on display again [NSFW]

Jack White, spear chucker

Diora Baird’s next two flix are in the cans

Jodie Sweetin hearts pink tacos

Hayden Panettiere is Gonna Be Trouble

Bonnie Wright, still cloudin my brain, in all the wrong ways

Judge: Lap Dances Protected By Constitution

Pre-shmear mag’s 25 Most Dangerous Movies

Stop Crying And Say ‘Cheese’

Why is there braille on drive-up teller machines?

Federal Reserve System comic books!

Mr T Presto Magix

Где мы были, вам не скажем, а что делали, покажем… (часть 1) & Где мы были, вам не скажем, а что делали, покажем… (часть 2), aka effin crazy LEGOS!!!

Man Accused Of Stripping Nude In Hair Salon

Konami’s secret bestest game with the word ‘poo’ in it? POOYAN!!

NSFW

Tokyo Drift: You Can’t Do It In A Barbie Car [YTMNDawg]

and before we vincent chase our van goghs…

tis curtains fo
Belle Miriam Silverman
aka
the hills aint no longer alive
wit da sound of
Beverly Sills

1929 – 2007

And that fire is peoples’ mad desire to become gamers again, for the first time, or to continue on being the twelve-sided dice freaks that this for this new busted-arsed century. Seriously folks, aged 9, 69 or 6969, man or bizatch, whitey or blackie, yellowie or Redskin, dirty Jew or dirty dancer, if you’re an agronomist, a
boatswain, a comptroller, a dominatrix, an exchequer, a fellmonger, a gondolier, a haberdasher, an innkeeper, a juggler, a kinesiologist, a lady-in-waiting, a manicurist, a ninja, an oboist, a pickler, a quivermaker, a registrar, a sexton, a
taikonaut, an usher, a ventriloquist, a wainwright, a xylophonist, a yodeler, a zoot-suitist or are of any other occupation and have two hands YOU MUSS GO OUT AND BUY A NINTENDO WII (don’t let the caps throw yo off, although the ‘tendo is gettin into a World War for yer money vs Sony & Microsoft).

After my domination of Tony Hawk 3 on PS2, I had retired from the gaming world, I thought for good, cept for the occasi 8-bit glory of blowing into my ye olde cartridges, but hype and curiosity got the breast of me. And methinks that $250 is a small price to pay for the single greatest toy of balls thyme. Also, I never owned me the Power Glove, and I figured that this would help to make up for that bit o’ my lost childhood

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it’s so much fargin fun that even hot chicks dig it

and even average looking chicks too!

and I’m sure fatty-boom-booms do too since the Wii provides more eggsercise than removing a slice of pizza from a box and shoving it down one’s piehole!

Breast part of the whole dang thang, besides the thumcredible interactivity, the people destroying their televisions and themselves (czech out Wiihaveaproblem.com early and often), or the old school skin you can buy, is that you can download old games (NES, SNES, N64, Sega Genesis, and even ye booty arsed TurboGrafx-16) thru their Virtual Console. Not a ton o games are available yet, although I’m totally rockin Sonic the Hedgehog, but every Monday four more get released. No word on if or when Toobin’ will be available

So don’t delay, blow whomever you have to, but get a Wii so you can wii all over yerself like I have for the past 2 bestestest weeks of my life, besides the first 2 weeks of life and the 2 weeks I totally anally raped your father in Guam

The greatest sorority known to man, Catherine Omega-Mu-Zeta-Jones-Douglas-MacArthur, and I hath so much in common. We both are T-Mobile whores, we both can do this with our a$$es, and we both love fellow Welshie and current Her Royal Thighness the BREASTEST, Charly Church. Zeta-Tomata hearts her so much that she’s eager to enlist her in her directorial debut of Dylan Thomas’ Under Milk Wood, which was first brought to screen back in 72. Des problem is that she’s so dang worried that leaving for LA LA land will hurt her relationship with current beau and rugby hunk Gavin Henson. Did I mention that I changed my named to Gavin and no one could touch me at Sega Genesis’ Rugby World Cup 95? I say go for it CC the IV!! Hollywurst needs more large breastest Welsh beauties. Just stay away from Michael Douglas, and Louis Farrakhan, who’s speaking at you.

• Faux-gayers t.A.T.u. will be faux-gaying it up at the UK Club G-A-Y this Saturdgay. That’s more gay that sipping Earl Gay Tea with yer pinky sticking out.

• Although she’s now #2321183thrdieth in my heart, Showerpoopa troopa has regained the #1 ranking in tennis. TALK ABOUT REBOUNDIN’!!

• In balls related news: “I love baseballs, do you love the baseballs?“

• In more Borat related news: the following bestness was released in stores yesterday. Gobble gizzile it up peeps… although I’m going the cheap route and waiting for it to match the price I set using Half.com‘s blesseded Wish List

• Back to more hairy balls situation news: Patrick Ramsey should start auctioning off his pubes on eBay cause Brunell will be named Comeback Player of the Year after the Skins go 16-0.

• In one last ball related things: I don’t know jack scalia about Tim McGraw, but his Monday Night Football halftime highlight recap country rhyme-e-shiz was the biggest lode of crap I’ve seen since this

• Andy Rooney may hates a lot of things, but the ‘browmiester surely hearts New Orleans

• SNL needs to stop adding ‘new faces‘ and needs to starts adding ‘new writers’. Or at least send Horatio Sanz packing… on Horatio Hornblower’s first ship outttttttta here

• Is it deja vu or deja boo that the day I lament briefly about Can’t Buy Me Lover Amanda Peterson (but more so about Ami DoleHOTfRUITenz) that someone goes and wonders the same dang thing? I dunno, but in Ami Dolenzerzz related stizz, I want to invent a machine that turns me into Jerry Trimble

• Lynch poo-poos any new Twin Peaks woo-whoness

• I knew Steven Loserbergh was well on his way to killing cinema (ever see Full Frontal? good, so DON’T), but this whole releasing a movie in theaters, DVD, and TV on the SAME DAY is wurstest call since Neville Chamberlain was elected Prime Minister. Peace in our time my a$$!!

• Kubie giving Jack the nod as Napoleon woulda been DYNO-MITE!

• I love Supergrass’ new ditty St Petersburg [video]. I also love that Gaz Combes and Jack Black look sorta similar with beards. And oh, I LOVE mustaches!!

• Pete Tong spankfully returns with a 2-Disc Essential Selection set soon. Trackilisting here

• One of the mos whocares editions of Then & Now

• Jeopardy! contestant searches are headed for LA (DUHVS), NYC, Tampa, Seattle, and Vancouver. Signs up here

• Clear yer calendars cause the Harlem Globetrotters are invading East Rutherford in February. A wise man once wrote, ‘When life hands you Meadowlark Lemon, make Meadowlark Lemonade‘

• Rachel McAdams High School Yearbook Photo… I bet her snap was probably the 6th mos beatoffedable one from that yearbook

• Are Renton, Sick Boy, Spud, Tommy, and Begbie’s ashes really disrupting train service?

• A.C. Slater DOES Rule [via Steve Bartman Hater #6]

• Thighs Wide Open? [sorta SFW]

• Here lies the very first TWS.org Katrina-related link, and it’s amusing, not sad [via Zach de la Roachclip]

• Troy’s Mixtape of Love [via Richie Richardson Loves Rice]

• And me have done some serious thinking as of late. Although I am a self-appointed ruler for life, I doubt that I’ll be able to be a Thigh Master for your kids’ kids, so I’ve decided to take on a Padawan. Sio Bibble knows that this could mean only one thing: INVASION!!

Yep folkies, ONE WHOLE STINKIN YEAR down the drain and what to show for it? I’m still broke, still not in command of the English language, and I’ve been livin more like Howard Hughes than Howard Hessman. And by that I mean I’m not the head of the class, or have class at all for that splatter, but more like staying indoors a lot, peeing in jars, repeating nonsense to myself, and praying that Leo DiCapitated won’t play me in my life story. I could go on and on, but maybe I’ll save that chit chatter for our Bronze/Pottery Anniversary (that’s 8th for those not in the know). Anywhozits, I combed and afro-piced my way thru the archives of this past year, and although there are a lotta dead links and missing images, I still found plenty o’ junk to keep you infotained for days. And away we blow…

Thighs Wide Herstory
• Monday, March 8th – The day when our long journey began with a single step. That first step/posting was only two sentences long, didn’t even include a link, and sadly was about a movie where Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a retarded guy who’s purty darn retarted. I would go on to post 11 MORE ITEMS in that first day!! The second posting actually did contain a link and that dubious honor belongs to an article about ex-Redskins/crackhead Dexter Manley being released early from prison. YOU GO DEX!!! Even the name ‘Lohan’ made first rearing of it’s ugly head on that day when I took a look at that week’s Box Office Bidneszz.

• March 9th – One day in and we already have our first spin-off blog, AhRonGuy. Too bad it was one entry and gone for Mr. Ah Ron. But others would follow, like Kid Kadoji, The Thinker, Dropping off a Blog in the Turlet…, and The I-Train

• March 10th – First link to another blogger’s site, Mr Bandwagon Boy’s review of the new Mell Gibbsen movie Jesus Christ the Passions!

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• March 11th – First mention of Elisha Cuthbert (Her Royal Thighness the II) AND my sistah Flea becomes the first person credited for contributing a link. The link was this

• March 12th – ALF becomes the first pic posted in Thigh Wide Herstory. Thanks to Code 7R for letting me steal from their bandwidth for over a year and not saying a word!

• March 14th – Steve Buscemi & John Waters are the subjects for the first ‘Switched at Birth’ thang (which later would become ‘Bitched @ Swirth’)

• March 17th – Steven Weber of Wings fame becomes the first celeb I’ve run into since starting this whole thang.

• March 19th – Spot The Drummer debuts

• March 22nd – Eternal Sunshine & Intermish receive the first full Thighs Wide Review

• March 24th – I reveal my alter ego

• March 30th – Jesus blesses us with our first posted animated gif. No, not that Jesus.

• April 19th – The term ‘‘cock-blogged is introduced into the lexicon for all to use.

• April 30th – Dan Newbower becomes the first guest-blogger on this day.

• May 9th – My site finally overtakes all other booty-arsed urls as the #1 result when searching for ‘Thighs Wide Shut’ on Google.

• May 18th – I become fiending blog whore and start a second site: RidersOfLohan.blogspot.com. That lasted all of 12 seconds. Great name though, if I muss say so myself. I say you can say so! Thanks me. You’re quite welcome me.

• May 26th – We were added to F.U.B.A.R.’s link roll. The influx of hits hasn’t stopped since.

• June 2nd – Like the Jeffersons, I moved on up into Grambo‘s ‘Creme de la Creme’ category of link-a-dinks.

• June 4th – I am informed that I’m not the first blog to utilize the picture of The Kid :(

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• June 11th – Some douche bag buys ThighsWideShut.com before I did :(

• June 15th – Thigh Master meets Napoleon Dynamite

• July 2nd – While America was 2 days away from celebrating our independence from the Brits, we celebrated Lohan’s birth, the death of ThighsWideShut.blogspot.com and the birth of ThighsWideShutDOTOrg. Sure, this is the day I started to pay money TO blog, but I no longer had to steal people’s images/bandwidth.

• July 4th – I bowl a 231!!!

• July 7th – Thigh Master featured in national commercial whoring Napoleon Dynamite. Some might call this ‘un-baaa-leave-able!’

• July 9th – Lohan haunts my dreams

• July 11th – Lindsay Ismims becomes my newest bestest friend!

• July 15th – Lohan is dubbed the first ‘Her Royal Thighness’.

• July 16th – In memory of the founder of Gold’s Gym, the phrase ‘Peace The Fork Out’ is brought into this world for all to use. Up til then, I had been using ‘Peace The Fuck Out’, which is an homage to the Travis song of the same name. Wanna search all the ‘Peace The Fork Out’s? Thought so.

• July 20th – Prince Charles takes his first ride in cab EVER!

• July 25th – The readers of TWS.org vote that I should marry Lohan. Cuthbert wasn’t even on the ballot. Tsk tsk on my cysts.

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• August 8th – My love of corn is revealed

• August 18th – Our Thighs Spies scoop about Lohan’s lohandlers on the set of Herbie not only got some Defamer love, but also made the ‘buzz’ section of one of the most ghetto free newspapers in the world, The AM-NY… although not credited directly.

• August 22nd – I decide one and for all, The Thigh Master needs an heir

• September 1st – Ms Washingtonienne’s Playboy pics are unleashed. I consider chopping off my penis.

• September 12th – Sister Thigh Master engaged, FINALLY!!

• September 28th – Thigh Master meets Ultra and the Raveonettes

• September 29th – Baseball returns to DC

• October 5th – The last Thighs Wide Shut poll’s results

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• October 20th – Lohan’s long reign as Her Royal Thighness is over, as we welcomed our second Queen, Elisha Cuthbert. What can I say, my new sweetheart loves a man who loves corn. On this day I also received the best news in my first year as a Master of Thighs: Graham Coxon to re-join Blur!!

• November 3rd – Kerry gives up and I get all political… FOR ONCE!

• November 5th – Tara Reid’s gives us the nip slip. Yuuuuuuuuuurcsdcvjcvk!!

• November 7th – I celebrate myself and others born on this day.

• November 19th – Cuthbert dyes her hair and ALMOST gets booted from the Kingdom of Thighland

• November 22nd – Ron Artest goes ape shit & I hand in my bestest worstest Photoshopping to date. I also lie to everyone at work, go to the secret U2 show & insta-blog what’s going on to Stereogum.

• November 30th – Cuthy turns 22 and I wax poetic

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• December 1st – Ken Jennings LOSES!

• December 2nd – I request an intern. Only two people apply, but I never reply to them. I feel bad. But I think I do need an intern to search for crap on my behalf. Any takes out there? Email me.

• December 7th – Toughest day of my life

• December 12th – I become the first person to launch the search for Team Zissou Adidas shoes. Too bad they never made any, so people were forced to DIY it and some sold them for recockulous prices on eBay… which apparently no longer allows anyone to sell them.

• January 5th, 2005 – Superficial’s snaps of Jessica Alba in a white bikini officially end any chances that I may turn gay. And this proves that Jeff Gaycia is not gay-cia. But before you’re gay, you see The Hole.

• January 14th – My idol, Andy Rooney turns 86

• January 18th – Mischa Barton sheds the Falkor look and out-hots Her Royal Thighness the II at the Golden Globes. Barf-on becomes Her Royal Thighness the III for a day! Then went back to looking like Falkor.

• January 19th – Jamie Lynn Spears mania hits an all time high in the House of Thighs

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• February 2nd – I fall asleep at a concert for the first time and the future of TV is possibly saved!

• February 11th – Call it ‘Writer’s Blogck’ cause how else do you eggsplain how I could not come up with a title for a posting?

• February 16th – ‘Super-Giraffe’ movie idea is born

• March 8th – Thighs Wide turns 1!!! Duhvs!

Animated Gifs of the Gawds• Hitler & his beloved watermelon • The Clapper • Kid + Cat • Woman + Treadmill • That Sweaty Sax Player From The Lost Boys • Rumsfeld & Pickle dance • Two cartoons dance • Random stuff • Seizure Salad • Morrissey • Borat, Abe & Breakdancin fools • Arn & Hammer • Fidel, Trashlee, and a dancin chick • Disney + Jizz = Jizzney • Tiffany Amber Yummyyams • Dog food and evil Bert • Man dance + Man tweak his own nipples • Yuck in a cup • Not mine, but Artestastic! • Crazy Asian and dumb White guy • It’s not moving, your eyes are playing tricks on u • Zissou • HHH • Why you no call me? • Fiery Fun-aces! • Hasselcrotch • Oh snap! • Lohan spits • I really hate Duke • Napoleon Dynamite • Behrooz • David Brent dances • Bauer need it…

Bitched @ Swirth

• Exxon & … • Rob Dibble & … • Cosby & … • Rachel Griffiths & …Pt I • Kim Clijsters & … AND Passanger 57 & … • Rachel Griffiths & …Pt II • Jenna Bush & … • Me & … • Kim Fowley, Ed Begley Jr. & … • John Kerry & EVERYONE • Lee Iacocca & … • I Heart Huckabees & … • Kuato from Total Recall & … • Carlos D & … • Not one of mine, but way worthy: Arafat &… • I was kinda proud of this one: The Bitched @ Swirth Trio Combo • This is probably 2nd finestest evs, and almost to true to be funny: Mischa Barton &… • Darrell Hammond & … • Napoleon Dynamite & … • The Kid & …

My Muses
That Keep Me A-Mused
• The Witness/Lukas Haas

• Wyatt/Ilan Mitchell-Smith

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• Paul Pfeiffer/Josh Saviano

• Chloe Sullivan/Allison ‘The’ Mack

• Biff Tanner/Tom Wilson

• Urkel/Jaleel White

• Wayne Arnold/Jason Hervey

• NOT Shia LaBeouf Cake

• D.A.R.Y.L./Barret Oliver

Better Than Atari’s LynxFile Under…

Fame Is A Bitch

• Still One of the Most Uncomfortable Pictures Ever

• Rich Kotite

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• Cut It Out.net

• John Kerry Is A Douche Bag But Im Voting For Him Anyway.com

• Draft Ditka

• Book Corky for your next event or The Fridge!

• Doing a Lynndie

• Scotty/James Doohan 4 EVA!

• Carl Lewis’ music video

• Hillary, Laura, and me

• ‘I hear there’s rumors on the internets‘

• Ulrich Haarbürste writes stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film

• Andrew Llllloyd Groper

• JeffGoldblumIsWatchingYouPoop.com

• The Many moods of Mischa Barton

Spank The Lord I Aint Any of These People

• The Tron Costume Guy w/the male camel toe!

• The Man of LaMustache

• The woman who stomped grapes

• Man selling swords on TV hurts himself

• Brutally Honest Personals

• World’s greatest mugshot?

• If I fall, will you catch me?

• Review of Dr. Ted Rothstein’s cosmetic braces

• BikerFox

• Angry Black Man: The Video

• The strange story of Lewis V Sills (we’re still the #1 search for it)

• What is this guy doing?

• The mos uncomfortable news report you may ever peep. You were warned. If you need to feel better, maybe you need to peep these news reports.

• Ouchers

• The Day After Party

• The Numa Numa kid

Listen Up

• Gunther Branlutte hands in one of the year’s best songs, ‘You Touch My Tralala’, videos [NSFW], and games [NSFW] that no one even remembers.

• 10 worst album covers of all time

• The Jim Mora Rants

• Coldplay hands in ‘Nappies‘

• The Howard Dean ‘I Have A Scream’ remixes revisted

• I hope David Bowie never sees this

• CookiePuss speaks!

• ’99 Luft Problems’

• Thighs Wide Music of ’04

Cinemasters

• The faux Hobbit trailer

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• The faux Episode III trailer & Being teased by Ep III‘s teaser

• The breastest movie songs of all thyme

• Ebert & Roeper memorable review of White Chicks, audio style

• The Next Citizen Kane

• The only Mulholland Dr website you’ll ever need

• The Wet Dream Team

• No budget filmmaking at its mos awfulistical

• Why rent The Girl Next Door, when you can watch the best part here.

• Untitled Kurt Russell/Dakota Fanning Project

• Thighs Wide Movies of ’04

Shall We Play A Game?

• The Subservient Chicken

• Let Them Sing It For You

• Touch this guy’s face

• Chicken Pong

• Kids ‘N Play

• Punch Bush in the face

• ROCK OUT!

• Play every Nintendo/GameBoy/Sega game

ProductShopTWS

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• Fake Dr Pepper

• Butt Paste

• Yarmulkebra

• Custom M&Ms!

• Nothing quite sez Chappy Channukah like this

• Torture your child

• For once, being a red state is a good thing

• Cat Butt Gum

• ‘I Heart Fags’ ashtray

• Steve Perry as Robocop

The Information Super Thighway

• Bar Mitzvah Disco

• 100 Most Often Mispronounced Words and Phrases in English

• Words I hate and words I love

• Build your own KITT car

• 50 Weirdest Guinness World Records

• Boong Ga Boong Ga

• Cellie-Bratin’ The Subway’s Cent-Tennyul

• Learn how to give a mouse an enema

• Search & Destro

• My best ‘Peace The Fork Out’ piece. The best one I didn’t do.

Information-less Super Thighway

• Ping pong madness

• Volume on and get ready for a sirprize

• Duct Tape Prom Fashions

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• Ali G’s Ghettosburg Address @ Harvard’s Graduation (FFwd to 01:27:34, unless you want to be bored for 90 minutes)

• Foriegn fingers

• Nuclear Bob’s Shirt of the Day

• POLAPOLAPOLAP

• Wurstest re-offender dot.evs

• Borat sings ‘Throw The Jew Down The Well’ and the world will never be the same

• Two girls beat the fork outta each other

• 2004 Asian Mustache Olympics

• Khaaaaaaaaaan!

• Whatevs.blogspot.com

• Hipster Jenga

• Why The World Hates American Tourists

• EaglesHaveNeverWonTheSuperBowl.com

• The Karate Chimp

• The Rubik’s Cube Kid

• Saved By The Be(ll)st

• Sausages: The Video

The Not Safe For Work
(NSFW) Collection

• A pic of Lil Kim’s Ill Na Na between her thighs.

• Why is this black man sucking of Courtney Love’s breast in public again?

• This one will make u lose yer lunch

• Rate My Camel Toe

• Cumshots, the band, and their stage show

• Ludivine Sagnier Nekkid

• Elvira nekkid

• Flash Mountain

• Watch the kid in the background

• Is this yer granny or yer gran-pa-pa?

• Natalie Portman was so darn good in Closer, and by good, I mean pole dancing up a storm!

• Tonya from Real World/Road Rules Playboys pics

• Japanese Anime dolls that poop

• Really milky titttties

• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Porn

YOU, yes you, did a stooopendus job clicking dear readers. I ask of you only this one thing: Name me your favorite headlines from the past year (i.e. I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Behrooz). Or ignore what I juss said and marvel at this collage of some of the best beards and ‘staches…