Tag Archives: Matthias Schoenaerts

WD-40 Winks

Rust and Bone (De rouille et d’os)
The Diving Belle & The Butterface
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 120 min

So there’s this French movie where Marion Cotillard trains & plays with whales at French Sea World or something, to the sound of Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’.  Then one day something goes HORRIBLY wrong and like whales hurt her and she loses BOTH OF HER LEGS!!  So legless Cotillard aint having the best of times.  She has no legs, her boyfriend took off, and she can’t train & play with whales at French Sea World or something

Luckily she met this ‘hunky’ guy (Matthias Schoenaerts) before the accident, and maybe he can help her.  Guess what, HE DOES!!!  This dude is like a low-life dude who would rather work out and bone chicks than face responsibility, like taking care of his son.  He is also some sort of amateur boxer and is involved in super ghetto backyard gypsy brawls for cash.  Cotillard joins him on one of these ghetto matches and becomes transfixed by them, and by him, and at some point she becomes his manager, and than at some other point they start boning, juss so she can bone again.  Is it platonic boning or is it boning with feelings?  By the time the question is answered 17 hours have passed and she still wishes she was whaling out to Katy Perry and there’s rust on your eyes and they are mad bone dry

Yep, it’s one of these movies where a hot person seems to get less hot by gaining a disability, but in the end they end up more beautiful than they were before!!!!  Sorry to say kids, but Rust and Bone (De rouille et d’os) aint no Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Le Scaphandre et Le Papillon).  SacreTRU!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Bone bares in New York today and in LA on December 7th and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


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