Thighs Wide Shut

I went to a Cobrasnake photo shoot and…: Jeremy Piven’s b-day bash broke out

a far ways away from Are We There Yet?: Ice Cube, the next pimp behind the Gorillaz wheel? Speaking of the next album, are we there yet?

it’s hard to stay alive when u loathe surnames: Mako peaces the fudgie the whale out

soon to be Don’tUseMyComputer.com: donate now biznicheszz!!

three words for Cuthslpurt: sassy, modest, and 69(0)

the reason Gawd invented H₂0: Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain

speaks the truth ruth: Orrin Hatch, natch!

way to save D Housewhores from The Nothing: sign Falkor’s sister up

Michael Jackson loses again: The Streets to release 20 minute Guinness World Record breakin music vid

the story behind those gravity-defying breasts: NSFKeeley

things to do in ’07 besides yer mother: figure out how to fly into Preston, Idaho, which is home to the Napoleon Dynamite Festival [Teen Wolff]

question I really needed answered cause I need to know how dirty my a$$ is for including her in the 1st edish of The Fap Five: how old is Emma Rigby who plays Hannah Ashworth in hollyoaks?

Chowdaheads turns 1: and the fun has juss beguns!

bestest internerd use of a Star Trek 4 ref: DoubleDumbAsOnYou.com

never get lost on the way to the Texas Cheesecake Depository again: Guide To Springfield USA [My Man Marvkus]

the truth can now be told about the yak population in Lake Lillian, Minnesota: Why are rebate checks drawn on obscure banks in the middle of nowhere?

they get their game on, yet no game for the gamiest game movie of balls thyme The Wizard?: The Electric Playground

Famicom-edy: this dude and his collection of 10,000 to 15,000 Nintendo thingies

juss in case you didn’t f&cking see it: The Big Lebowski – F&cking Short Version

potty mouthed: animated tigers teach yer kids how to poo!

NSFW: milk & cookies dookies

and

[tracklisting & full NSFWness here]

No one has forseeneded the future more better butter than the great Arthur C Clarke. 2001: A Space Odyssey is a must read for anyone who has eyes. If you don’t have eyes, yer probably jealous of the hills, cause they have eyes, and yer probably not reading this cause u can’t and yer probably imagining how scary Lindsay Lohan’s face is, but one can’t even begin to imagine how scary it truly is unless they have eyes, or for this matter, hills. And for those with thighs, we not only salute you, but we implore you to Rendezvous with Rama. Why? Cause ACC tackles that space-age old question: BOOBS? IN SPACE????

Some women, Commander Norton had decided long ago, should not be allowed aboard ship; weightlessness did things to their breasts that were too damn distracting. It was bad enough when they were motionless; but when they started to move, and sympathetic vibrations set in, it was more than any warm-blooded male should be asked to take. He was quite sure that at least one serious space accident had been caused by acute crew distraction, after the transit of a well-upholstered lady officer through the control cabin.

from Chapter 11: Men, Women, and Monkeys

That leaves only one remaining space-age old question: will there be a History of the World Pt II, and thus… JEWS IN SPACE!?!?!?!

pee es – Peace le Fork out to Jan Murray, who played the Nothing Vendor in History of the World Pt I

Remember when you were all that I fapped to? I wanted to eat you, and now, you can eat me you runt cag!! Chef boyardee how the mighty hath fallen. I’ve skipped yer last two movies. I didn’t even buy yer 2nd album. When the thought of u passes thru my brain I immediately think of microwaved tunafish juss to get yo even more stankin’ a$$ a$$ outta my dodge minivan. You are the reason why freedom is not prevailing in Iraq. Yer the reason why the Nationals are in the NL East cellar. Yer the reason why people think Vince Vaughn is funny, yet he’s been doing the same character for 481283 years. Yer the reason the 2nd Ave Deli closed. Yer the reason why there’s 380218383123 blogs that all write the same thing and post pictures of you ordering from the Wendy’s 99 cent menu. Yer the reason Herpes Went Banannnananaas. Go away. Although you will never go away. Could you at least try to not be so trashizoid? And can you start being 17 again. And not 20. Oh yeah, happy b-day you frecklejuiced dirty lo-bag.

Looks like someone went to hell and back yesterday…

[UMC]
…take me with you!!

Yes, I finally updated the right side of this site. And yes, Brooklyn Vegan has moved inches away from dethroning the World Beard & Mustache Championships for the top spot in my (lynx) heart (sorry Grambs, but u juss don’t post often enuff to keep atop my ATP rankins, all dough, So Dark The Con Of Vanegas is a klassic with a k, but not as classic as the Kostars(Luscious Jackson side project)’s Klassics with a K)! I mean, I check no site more often than the BV, even if he keeps turning down my offers for free bacon cheeseburgers, and without him, I wouldn’t know which bands I’m going to miss at the Siren Fest cause I’ll be too busy trying to work off dem junk food calories at the batting cages. Besides, praying to the guy who really hates foie gras, u’all should give some love to the new links in the cellar, hispecially my boy and king of thighly contributions, Zach de La Roachlip, who doesn’t care for what’s above, cause he’s all about DEATH FROM BELOW

Keanu, ready for the girl of his Reeves! Woooah!

Any Air news is… AIR NEWS!!!

Fiddler tips us to the trailers for Woody Allen’s 2nd adventure in Britannia and the Wicker Man remake mistake. First off, is there anything the Fiddler hasn’t tipped us to these days? And secondly, I’ll cut off yer johnsons, but not nearly as much as the whole One Day In September/Munich shaz, if you don’t Netflix the original Wicker Man, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

What’s the bestest thing Brittany Murphy has appeared in since Clueless? Her and Paul Oakenfold’s ‘duet’, ‘Faster Kill Pussycat’ [vid]. Personally, I think Oaky as found the winning recipe for Murphy tolerance: limit her to 3 1/4 minutes of air time!

Korhneiser, talksin bout Ricky Williams’ defection to Canaduh, and what it sez on the ‘plaque’ of the CFL, ‘Give us you tired, you poor, and your whizzinators, and Lazarus‘ So tell me again why aren’t you DVRing the best darn sports show MT EVERwood?

Skeeter, I hearts you like mad (cow disease spread all over Hitler’s mother’s vagina), but if I can’t get thru Horton Hears a Who!, how the hell am I gonna get thru yer 6,079 worded behemoth of a post?

13 Memorably Unpopular Characters From Popular TV

Child Costume: Toilet!

Taking a dump, in FLIPBOOK mode!!

Catputer!!!

Dungeon Escape!!!!

Photographs of Harry Enfield!!!!!

For Sale: Judah Friedlander’s microwave!!!!!!

“Пока смерть не разлучит нас” похоже устарело:) Японские “трупы” женяться (8 фото)!!!!!!!

and triple peace the fork out goes to Space Ghost, the 19th 5th Beatle, and some Egyptian actress!!!!!!!!

But why the Egyptian actress that no one’s ever heard of besides Anwar Sadat, and not say, ump Eric Gregg? Cause a woman with a silly headpiece is always funnier than a fat guy who’s fat. I think it was Robespierre who said that, and that’s why he’s no longer with us. Stoopid racist French pig who was always wearing ROBES!!

ABC AXES
INVASION

THIGHMASTER
VOWS VENGEANCE
and
VOWS TO EAT COWS

BUT WILL THE CW
SAVE THE DAY?

and flubs course, this can only mean one thing…

How dare they do what they do did. One of televenison’s mos bestest and underappreciated shows will go the way of Drexell’s Class, the one year wonder rubbish bin, after the season/series finale airs this Thursday. SHAME SHAME SHAMUS!!! This show was groundbreaking, earthshattering, neptuneshattering, uranusshattering, like a giant dildo in yer anus!! I cannot recall one single program in the history of the we-tube that had a dude with a perma-5 o’lock shadow with a hot-ass brunette wife and an even hottier-arsed blond ex-wife with a girl that looks like a monkey who showed Bill Murray her b-day suit [NSFW] with a dude with a 9-head with a kid who looks like Jack White as a kid with a guy who could totally pass for a Mog in certain circles.

Guns n’ Roses bloom again in the 1st 2 outta 4 NYC showz. I regretfully missed the Metallica/GNR tour back in the ’92, so I’m trying to make up for it by going to the bastardization version 2nite at Hammerstein. I’ll be sure to bring a pillow, since Axl probably won’t show up til 3am…. when KLF usually rocks us [vid]. Bi they gay, I’d never heard of this song b4, but I’m total cereal lovin KLF’s ‘Doctorin’ The Tardis’ [vid | d]

Initial VV Siren Fest line-up announced. Even if Jesus was playing with Hedrix AND Moses and wit Matt Sorum on drums, I’d still spend my entire day smokin doobies on the Wonder-Wheel, hittin up the battling cages, and digesting anything with bacon at indigestion land

Dude, Mandy Moore grows super fly by the minute rice AND she likes Jewish boys with good senses of humors! I know she’s talking about Zack Boo, but I think she’s secretly fingering herself in my image. Or at least that’s what my 4th personality told me.

Anderson Coops goes 420, but not that 420. When will he break out his Nash board and go all 720° on us? And why the spigs do 60 Mins keep adding correspondents? They shoulda kept 60 Mins 2 for all the 2nd rate scrubs they have on board. Speaking of, where the jim fassel has Steve Hartman and his jerkassedness been?

[MFH]
The lean, and now the wink? WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?! Hopefully it involves a lot of bending over and women

Optimus Prime time

I’m sure you didn’t see it in del previous post, cause yer sick of reading movie reviews, but… Corey Haim movie trailers

‘Chanukah’s da Bomb’ [vid] by Alan Dershowitz‘ mos flavorite band that’s appearing on the Kidzapalooza stage at Lollapalooza, Chutzpah

I know this is like 17 years too late, but I forgot how slow Martika’s ‘Toy Soldiers’ [vid|d] waz, after many a repeated thighpod listenings to Eminem’s version [d]. Howevs, I will never forgot the last trioing of powerhouse actors Wil Wheaton, Keith Coogan, and Samwise

Strangers With Candy: The Music

They say heavan is place on earth, but this shiz below is outta this world, as well as control. So much so, that I wish I could borrow dem wheels for 12 minutes and have me a 5some with Falkor/Mischa and Sasha/Childlike P in the back of this baby!!

[mo snaps vis Chaoss]
Save Buddy’s buddies

CelebFavorites.com, cause everyone really needs to know which Thomas Edison Museum Brittany Murphy frequents

The Deal Or Now Deal models

You Say Toby, I Say Tobey

Lily Allen’s mos bored fan, in VIDEO FORM!

One Love, Stay Puft

Moustache May [Precogz]

Super Ma
rio 1, now with 100% more Bullet Bill! [Go! Rilla]

для тех, кто не был в Воронеже, выкладываю шесть фото меня в составе косплей-группы по Samurai Champloo

‘Hail to the Chief’ played on the hands [Dat Nguyen]

Enema Recipes [Denver Bronchitis]

And if it was possible for two fictional men to have a child, I’d select President Logan and Miles Papazian to be the true My Two Dads. Hell, I love Miles and his last name so much, I’ll father the effin anti-Christ child!