Tag Archives: Lindsay Lohan

Kibbles N’ Bitzes

16. May, 2004 0 Comments

Justin Case ya didn’t hear, Jimmy Kimmel ODed on Advil, his head ballooned, and he almost looked as awful as Courtney Hate last week:

fsaq5tcelm!!! fsaq5tcelm!!! Xs 2!!

And according to Courtney Yuck re: her arrest, “the police have a conspiracy against rock chicks” and these other fine statements.

At least neither of those pictures are quite as “m-bare-assing” (to quoth the Gid) as this guy’s photo spread:

one size fits all!

[Link via The Zach Attack]


Here, gogh ahead and waste time with this face morphing thingie. Or tell me how it is possible that Thighs Wide Shut and some blog called Eyes Wide Shut both posted an entry at the same eggzact time, 01:31:05 PM. This planet rocks. I’d never leave it… unless Lindsay Lohan did. Finally, if you didn’t click on the LOTR: Two Towers Engrish subtitle link in the Troy review, here’s yer second chance! Have a great week!

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Read The Label

16. May, 2004 0 Comments

My gal over at Gideon’s Bible has handed out some super superlatives and labeled me a “blogger without conscience“!! When I enquired to Gid if that was a good thing or a bad thing, she responded with “note to self: stop getting wasted and plugging in the computer before you pass out.” F-in mint!!! Anywho, yers truly was mentioned in the same breath as Uncle Grambo (pop demon), Ulttrraa Hottie (rock journalist), and Scott Stereoshizzle (unabashedly popular)!!! I’m so honored. I feel like Russell Crowe at the end of A Beautiful Mind when he’s all senile and wins some fancy award.

PS- anyone know how I can score a date with Lindsay Lohan?

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Yer Daily Dosage Of LLOpen Up And Say Ahhh!

14. May, 2004 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan, you make me do the craziest things, but its all in the name of love. You even forced me to watch your appearances on two of the worst talk shows ever, The View and The Ellen Degeneres Show. Thank Gawd for the TiVo though, as I don’t think me eyes could have handled the other 50 minutes of diarrhea when you weren’t on. Anywho, yer appearance on Ellen was so best! Not only did you look more uber-hottie-ness than yer appearance on the Today Show, but I think Ellen D was sweating you. And why shouldn’t she be all over the LL? Look at these pics!!

when asked about her b-friend, The Thigh Master BFF, breast friends 4eva call me please @ 1-800-THIGHZZ Ellen, is that foam coming out of your mouth? Ellen leans in for the kiss

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Afternoon Wood

13. May, 2004 0 Comments

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Uber-hotness and future Mrs. Thigh Master, Lindsay “LL” Lohan, is all set to host this year’s MTV Movie Awards, airing on June 10th. This is more boss than Hugo!!!

And for your viewing pleasure, here’s a picture of the supergal who’s obvs having the best year evs:

Rock n' Drool!

She put the “rocks”

in “LL Rocks“

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Forty-Niner Fo Life

13. May, 2004 0 Comments

yeeeeee-mudder-fudging-haaaaa!!


Did you know that when I had my mustache, I traveled back in time and became a California gold prospector? I’m really happy to be back to the future, but sometimes I get a lil misty thinking about all the sasparilla I drank and the dirty whores I came to know and came in.

PS- I’m really not that scary looking in real life. I no longer have that ‘stache, that isn’t even my hat, and I only make that grizzly face when Lindsay Lohan doesn’t return my phone calls.

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