Tag Archives: Joe Massingil

Lies, Injustice & The American Game

overdue review doo-doos

Arbitrage
Money Always Sleeps
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 107 min

Richard Gere got himself some balls.  He’s married to the hottest old woman ever (Susan Sarandon), but thinks shacking up with some ugly art chick is time better spent.  Well it ends up biting him in the a$$ cause he kills his mistress in a car accident, flees the scene, and to make matters worse, he’s basically Bernie Madoff, and his daughter’s (Brit Marling) on to him, and so is police guy Tim Roth!!!!!!!!  WHAT TO DO???!!!!!  This conventional movie feels so 80s, but it works in the 2010s!  And Graydon Carter is in it briefly and he has best supporting hair of the year!!

 

Trouble With The Curve
Pitch/Bitch Count
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 111 min

Clint Eastwood is so old, and so mad.  He’s losing his sight so he kicks tables and treats people like garbage, but he’s a baseball scout and he wants to keep being one, but HE’S LOSING HIS SIGHT!!!  Luckily his daughter Amy Adams cares about him even though she thinks he doesn’t care about her (BUT MAYBE HE DOES!), so she drops everything to help him be angry at stuff, and scout a fat baseball player (Joe Massingill), who’s also being scouted by Justin Timberlake, a former player he scouted, but now he’s a scout, with dreams of being an announcer, but if this is any indication, he might as well stick with his day job.  This movie is pure cheezy garbage, and we loved every minute of it + any movie where Matthew Lillard is yer bad guy and is NOT murdering anyone, you know you’ve got something!!!  GET YER CURVE ON!!

 

Dredd
Urban Dwellers
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 95 min

Never saw the Sly Stallone Judge Dredd cause Sly Stallone sucks, but Karl Urban doesn’t, cause he roxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!!!!  Cause Karl Urban is the f$%king man!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And cause of him and his scowl, this movie kinda roxxxxxx!!!  Sure, the flick takes place all in one day, and mainly in one place, which isn’t a favorite movie thing of mine, but there are explosions, and drugs and Olivia Thirlby also kicking a$$$$ and Lena Headey being all skanky tuff and stuff!!!!  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Verdictgo: all three Jeepers Worth A Peepers

all three are still barely playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

eXTReMe Tracker