Thighs Wide Shut

Bad Teacher
There’s Something About Diaz / There’s Nothing About Segel
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 92 min

Bad Teacher defied all the odds it had stacked against it.  Here’s what awfulnessnessnesses we notion preconceived in our minds:

- Cameron Diaz is annoying

- Jake Kasdan shares a name with daddy Lawrence and that’s about it

- Jason Segel is unfunny

- Thomas Lennon is also unfunny

- Justin Timberlake usually tries too hard to be funny

- Lucy Punch is talented and funny, but her face juss scares the living day&nightlights outta us so dangs much that it almos overshadows the talent and the funny

Well, apparently adding actual funny side player peeps like Phyllis Smith, John Michael Higgins and Eric Stonestreet (…and barely doing anything wit em at all) is juss the ticket to make all those above wrongs turn into something dang right and hactually funny.  YES, funny.  Bad Teacher is funny.  We had to be dragged to see this (w/o kicking or screaming) and that’s probably why we liked it, but it can’t be as simple as that, cannnnnnnnit?

Well…

– Cameron Diaz wasn’t annoying

– Jake Kasdan made something that resembled a movie!

– Thomas Lennon remained unfunny.  oh well

– even though every sportswriter in America was JOing to that Lebron vs Jordan argument bit, it was about as funny as Jason Segel is (aka NOT)

– Justin Timberlake was sorta funny! someone juss tell him to keep away from Andy Lamesberg

– Lucy Punch’s face still looks like it was punched one too many times, but her talent and funny TRUMPED HER SCARY FACE!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Bad aint so, currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Beginners
My Small Skinny Gay Dead Father
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 105 min

Christopher Plummer is gay after living a long life of not being gay. Ewan McGregor is his son, who’s never been lucky in love, and just lost his father, not to gayness, but to death. Mélanie Laurent is a hot French chick who may be the key for Obi Wan to BEGIN again, sorta like how his father BEGAN again after coming out of the closet!!!! Welcome to Mike Mills‘ autobiographical Beginners, which is full of beginnings AND endings, and three movies in one that work well together, when usually three movies in one tear a singular movie  apart. What’s the third movie? Lil Ewan and his relationship with his deceased mother, which may hactually be the strongest of the three.  It’s all a funny, loveable and depressing affair, but not too much of any of those, and again, it works all the better because of that.  And that is that.  Where do you begin and this review end?  This review is over, so begin at a movie theater showing this

Crepes of Wrath: Mélanie Laurent is super hot (and JEWISH!!!) and her dad does the following voice overs for the French language version of The Simpsons - Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Ned Flanders, Reverend Lovejoy, Waylon Smithers, Barney Gumble, Carl, Lou, Eddie, Troy McClure, Rainier Wolfcastle, Lionel Hutz, Chalmers, Hans Moleman, Disco Stu, and Duffman … to name a few!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Beginners is currently playing in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

saw 5 movies over the weekend, so here be some qwikie reviews, starting with the best of what we saw

Who Is Harry Nilsson (And Why Is Everybody Talkin’ About Him?)
Without Him
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
NR | 116 min

What do you know about Harry Nilsson? Probably about as much as we did, which was nothing beyond his singing the theme song to Midnight Cowboy.  He’s such a forgotten figure that his wikipedia entry doesn’t have a picture!!!  Well, if you can survive this almost 2-hour rambling look at the golden’s voice not so golden life, then you will AND THEN SOME!!!  And although it may not be very focused, or very good at telling us what time & place we’re at, you gonna tell we that you don’t want to see a documentary about the man who John Lennon said was his favorite group?????  Or the man who had Ringo Starr as the best man at his wedding?  Or the guy who somehow had a stellar recording career without ever touring? Or who wrote the score to Altman’s Popeye (wait, there was a score to Popeye?)?  If that’s not enuff to rope ya in, don’t you wanna know who the Andy Samberg looking guy in the picture above is????  You should.  And that guy’s teeth are almos more amazing than his hair is be!!!

Nilssson: what’s better than one Harry Nilsson?  how bout three of em!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Nilsson is already ready for you to watch it on Netflix!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Bridesmaids
Wedding Our Pants
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 125 min

Oh my gosh!  Who knew that women could be funny AND have a movie in which to show it?  AND it came from Judd Apatow, the man who makes so many man comedies… that aren’t really all THAT funny, although everyone thinks they are.  But we’re not going to waste your time griping about Judd Apatow like we usually do, cause for once he got the funny write (although what did he do besides put his name on it?).  YEAH WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bridesmaids is dangs funny (and rememberrrrrrrrrr… it takes a lot to make us laffffff!!!).  It’s not a great movie by any imagination of the stretch (pretty standard story stuff here – a woman trying to find love), but who cares!!  Kristen Wiig does her Wiig thang and Maya Rudolph doesn’t really do anything, and come to think of it, neither does Wendi McLendon-Covey or Ellie Kemper, even if they are great company.  Rose Byrne plays an unfun bitch (doesn’t she get sick of that?  we’re starting to), and Jon Hamm plays a way fun a$$hole.  Melissa McCarthy steals the show (she needs her own movie, and probably will get one), and some British people are in it (like Chris O’Dowd) cause they’re probably cheaper (and funnier) than Jason Segel.  But why the poop jokes? WHY?  No man wants to even think of a woman pooping.  Do you womens?  Wait, do any womens read this site?  If so, will you marry us?

Lovey Covey:  there’s juss something so hot about Wendi

(probably cause she was Michael Scott’s one-night stand in Canada)

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Bridesmaids marries women & laughter at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Trip
Competitive Eating
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
NR | 107 min

we saw The Trip at this year’s Thighibeca FF.  this is what we said then…

Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon go on an English countryside romp, filled with rustic lodgings, questionable fine dining and a lot of awfully awesome impersonations.  The title to Michael Winterbottom‘s funtastic semi-improvised flick (a summarized version of a the 6 episodic TV show of the same name) sez it all, and it’s a lot more dandy than the trio’s earlier effort, 2005’s Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story.  Book yer ticket when this rock & rule story lands on our shores this June

what we say now…

That description still holds up, and it’s June, so use that ticket you booked!  It’ll probably be the funniest film you’ll see in a theater this summer, cause it has nothing to do with Judd Apatow or a SNL cast member, and there you go

So, where are Steve & Rob headed next?  CAUSE WE WANT MORE AND MORE AND MORE OF IT!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Trip and see you next fall, today in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…