At Samuel L. Bronkowitz End
21. Sep, 2010 
1 Comment
Machete
A Cut Below The Rest
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Grindhouse blew, except for the faux trailers. One of them trailers stood out above the rest. It was Machete, starring Danny Trejo, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin. Robert Rodriguez figured it would be a good idea to turn his trailer into a full length feature. We were mad in love with the trailer to his movie based on a trailer, but mainly cause it hinted at the return of Lindsay Lohan hotness!! So what could go wrong, and ended up going wrong??? Plain and pimply: it didn’t feel nearly enuff grinhousey + there was too much Michelle Rodriguez, and WAAAAAAAAAY too much Jessica Alba, and not enuff nudity, and moist importantly, not enuff Machete/Trejo using a machete. He should have used the machete to cut the script in half!! Casting Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal and Don Johnson was inspired, but not inspiring. End of movie promises that Machete will return. For everyone’s sake, we hope he gets cut in half off-screen and we get a full length version of Catholic High School Girls In Trouble instead [NSFW]
The Manzana Doesn’t Fall Far From The Trejo: Gilbert Trejo has a long road ahead of him, if he ever wants his face to be as lived in as his father Danny’s is
Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Machete is currently coming to a grindhouseing halt at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
