YouTube & Viacomck wouldn’t let we upload the opening credits/theme song of Hey Dude, aka the greatest show of balls thyme, so lucky for you, we’re posting it here!

Hippy-ti-yi-ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Kid With A Bike
(Le gamin au vélo)
Spoked Up
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 87 min

Jean-Pierre Dardenne & Luc Dardenne‘s (aka as the Dardenne Brothers) The Kid With A Bike is about a kid… with a… bike!!  THAT’S RIGHT!!!  But this aint no ordinary kid, but this is an ordinary bike!!  The kid is Cyril (Thomas Doret) and his missing bike is the last link he has to his father (Jérémie Renier), who recently left him to make money and love elsewhere.  The kid starts off in search of his MIA bike, but really he’s searching for his father.  After randomly tightly hugging a random stranger (Cécile De France), this random stranger randomly decides to help the kid reunite with his bike, and his father.  The reunion with his bike goes well.  The reunion with his father… not so much.  Sad.  But this random lady is very nice and decides to take the kid under her wings, but the kid is troublesome and gets into some big troubles, but the lady is so so very very nice nice and caring that she stands by him thru thick and thin and thickish thinish.  Good for her.  Better for him.  Indifference for the bike

moral of the story – Bike is a sweet little movie about a boy and his bike and the random lady who helped the boy get back on his bike, and get his life bike back together.  If you hate this movie, you hate humanity, and probably hate bikes.  Don’t hate on humanity, and don’t hate on bikes

O Brothers: here’s a list of 20 sets of brother directors.  totally wished me & my bro were directors, instead of him being a lawyer and me being a master of thighs.  oh well

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Bike cycles into select theaters this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

btw, the best kid with a bike ever is Paperboy, and btw, you should never 5get who stole Little Mac’s bike

don’t care if this show is about George Clooney as a Nazi at Duke University microwaving tunafish, cause with ads like these, we’d not only invite it into our house, we’d vote it into the White House!!!!!

Jennifer Love Hewitt, please never stop having boobs!!!

Project X
X Marks The Spot, OF FUN!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 88 min

Ever seen Can’t Hardly Wait?  Hopefully not, but if you did, Nima Nourizadeh‘s Project X is like Can’t Hardly Wait, cept it’s awesome and has hactual bare boobs, and gnomes, and fire, and water, and water on boobs, but not fire on boobs, and dorks we sorta care about (Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper and Jonathan Daniel Brown, who is our new hero.  Not only did he go on a fake date with Whitney Port, but he also played a fake nerd in a porn [watch NSFNess]!!!).  And it’s got stuff, and fun, and a dog, and a midget, and a moon bounce, and it will remind you why high school was so awesome and how America’s got teen spirit like no other country, and did we mention watery boobs yet?

Kirby Your Enthusiasm Galore: Kirby Bliss Blanton & Nichole Bloom is be OK and all, but we’d prefer to invite these girls to our pants party…

Anna Sophia Berglund

Alexis Knapp aka Alexis Merizalde

this woulda been an endless list of hotties, cept 98% of them party goers aren’t listed on IMDb

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

also, we forgot to review…

Chronicle
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility Fun!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 84 min

This movie is similar to Project X – three unknownish actors (although you totes know who Dane DeHaan is if you were a fan of In Treatment) battle endless hand-held camera action, and a budget the size of your penis.  Also, like X, it’s awesome, and does more with less than you do with your tiny penis.  But these three cats aint just party animals, theys gots super super powers and it’s more super powerful than anything goings on in one of those other big budget superhero movies we’ve seen in like the past like 5 years like.  like 9reals yo!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

X + Chron are currently awesome at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

oh, and a special shout out to Brady Hender and Nick Nervies, who deserve there own Project X spin-off, Project XI

make it happen Hollywürst!!!

what dear Tessa Fowler looks like without the Playboy glo

(hint – STILL BEEEEEEAUTIFUL!!)

MOOOOOORE NSFWness!!!!!!!!!!!