Thighs Wide Shut

Those FARGIN Iceholes have struck again!!

Peace Le Fork Out
Maureen Stapleton

1925 – 2006

But whodunnit, Roman Moroni or Danny Vermin? I mean one knocks down walls and the other was shot by his grandmother, once! I means, if poor Ma Kelly bit it, is anyone really safe? Best keep an eye on your testicles and you.

You wants it
You gots it

pictures of…

Sasha Cohen nude

&

Sasha Cohen camel toe

p-chop skillz by Tom Wellington & myself

First, the dead

PUCKETT
KICKS THE BUCKET

1960 – 2006

I heard his least flavorite band were the Strokes!! OUCHers!!! Maybe I’ll go to hell, which us Jews don’t bee leave in!!

—–

And now for the qwik (since doing this year 2 wrap up thang takes about as long as watching The Ten Commandments on A-B repeat on a trip to Alpha Centauri)

Lolla line-up to be announced next week, but WERD has it that Particle, the Disco Biscuits, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are a go. Brian Peppers is also a possib

Who the fork wants to see Cuthbert play Mike Utley?

The Streets’ vid for ‘When You Wasn’t Famous’. It’s got mad STREETS cred, YO!

Over the tweakend, WE HIT THE 2 MILLION MAN MARCH!!!

MC Hammer hates typepad

Travelin Kubrick eggzibit lookin for partners to help bring it to America. If you work at some fancy shmancy museum and you happen to read my site, MAKE IT HAPPEN OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR JOHNSON

The Kinks, Prince & Smokey Robinson video mash-up

Think Rod Smart lists ‘He Hate Me’ as a skill on his newly typed up resume?

A NSFW Guide to Women’s Nipples

Plenty o Thank You For Not Smoking screenings

Lego Brokeback Mountain [Fiddler]

Coach K…ommercial [Navi’s Navel Naval Base]

Puppy Mover Monorail

Shock Absorber [Marwanicur]

Do hens produce more poop than they do eggs?

Silly tube maps

Jewish Girls Gone Wild! [Shady Acres]

Press-on madness

Most Unusual Buildings On Earth

REAL transformer [Pakula Shaker]

And then ZARDOZZZZZZZZZz

and

While everyone and their Wolfmother are off to SXSW or Vega$ next weekend, I’m going to Dublin to drown myself in REAL Guinness (not that crap they call Guinness in America). Any tips besides eating Paul Haggis’ haggis with Merle Haggard?

DEAD

Jack Wild
aka the one and only
Artful Dodger

1952 – 2006

Out of all the Peace The Fork Outs this one hurts the most (had TWS.org been around in ’99, Kubrick woulda been #1 in hurtsing). Cause you see, when I was a wee TM taking BMs in my pants, for some odd reason, I was crazily obssssssessed with the movie musical Oliver!, and in particular with the lil mouthy pickpocket with an adjective for a first name and a baseball team for a surname. All I wanted to do in life, besides pick my nose and watch Duck Tales, was to hang out with A Dodge. He seemed so cool, and he was juss so darn adorable. I know that sounds gay, but I am 1/16th gaylick. And on this day, I think of my poor mother, who had to keep re-renting the VHS tape from Erols (a DC area local ghetto video rental store), and who had to listen to the soundtrack ad infinitum while driving me to and afro. Jack went on to do other shiz, like H.R. Pufnstuf, but I never watched any of it. Probably cause I didn’t think to, or subconsiously, I didn’t want to see him in another role that didn’t include a top hat and a blue coat. Peace the fork out lil buddy. And a big effin middle finger bang up the butty of Grampa Joe (Jack AssAlbertson), who wrogfully beat out Jacky W for the Best Supporting Actor Oscar at the ’69 Academy Awards.

Give listenage to the following artful Jack Wild tunes from Oliver!, which in my opinion, is and will always be the single greatest movie musical of balls thyme

‘Consider Yourself’ [d-lode]
‘I’d Do Anything’ [d-lode]

Wot?
Fisticuffs?

The Winter LIMPics are dunn like Nora. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Next time, they should eliminate time zones so everyone can watch the not so grassy knolls at the same time and not on tape delame. Go Latvia!!!

Boo-nus: Photochop Monday?

Dennis Hopper
Val Kilmer
Christopher Lambert
Winona Ryder
Alpha Numeric
Color me BAD
not bad meaning bad
but bad meaning good

‘I think American TV is the best in the world. I knew ‘The Office’ wouldn’t be ruined by these people, but I know American shows would be ruined by English people. We’re not as good as you. … American TV for me, as Randy Jackson would say, is da bomb. ‘ –Ricky G

Could the future Liam Gallagher/Charlotte Church collab be holier than thou?

Rudy meets Corky = real hoop dreams [via Double Veeski & Burger King & Queen]

Hugo ‘Hurley’ Reyes = Harry ‘Beyonce’ Knowles?

The return of Ice-T? I’m still praying for the day he teams up with Lemonade to form Arnold Palmer

Jesse Metcalfe (Lawn Boy) banging Nadine Coyle (Thighs Mistake Girl)?

Willa Holland > Bloggers In Amsterdam

And how come they didn’t invite the Hay Master to Edam (which is the new Eden)?

Max, the Devil, and proprietor of Max’s Video shop from The Lost Boys loves dat a$$

Sly no longer on the sly?

Zach Moore and Mandy Braff’s (sorry, but I refuse to call em something very bloggish like Broore or Mraff) Tiffany wedding registry [via The Soup]

Muss See Tee Vee: The Ivankatice

Muss Take Her Clothes Off:

Yeah? I’d rather hang myself with sasquatch’s taint hair tainted with microwaved tunafish while licking my own taint out to ‘Tainted Love’ [d-lode] than listen to that diarrhea of the mouth skanktastic hobag sing live. Take this Flaming Lips ‘Yeah Yeah Yeah Song’ [d-lode via Under8] and get that fishnet stocking taste outta yer ear pronto tonto!!

And by the lame, Karen O’s full name is Karen Orzolek, and she’s not only an earsore and an eyesore, but multimediasore! Did I mention she’s a hobag and I’d rather suck this [NSFW] than let her touch mine [‘this’ via Skylar]

How un-ghetto is Trick My Truck? I’d say about 1/16th less than Pimp My Slip ‘N Slide, eh?

What could possib-bly make Nicage emote the Karen O face?

These NSFW boobs, as seen in the mediocre, yet food tossingly enjoyable The Weather Man

Tits amazin what two a-bombs can do to a country [NSFW muss ness that has nothing to do with real bombs but bombs as in boobs and a kitten and aight already, juss click the damn link via Dr Falada]

The Ketchup Effect teaser [via Shabby]

The 50 Best Robots Ever

YTMND: Ownd [via Tom Wellington The Greatest Livng Actor’s Fan Club President]

Newbower’s bestest fan ever

FREE PANCAKES! In honor of Marwanicur’s B-day! [via BVS is the new CVS]

Add ‘sasha cohen cock’ & ‘sasha cohen underarms’ to the list of things we don’t have on this site………. yet! Aldough it’s a purty safe bet you’ll never mt everestist find ‘slutskaya nipples’ anywhere near these thighswideshut

Lou flings Poo

Posting will probably be a lil miller lite in the loafers this week as we richard gear up for March 8th. Grin and bear with us kids!

Anywhozitz, tis never too late to enter our Oscar Pool. $10 to make ya holla. Winner eats balls. Enter here. Group Name: House of Wax Dat Ass Password: neckbeard. You suck if you don’t join the frayed carpet. And if you do, I’ll see if I can get you in to the palace to touch our gal’s brows, and if you pay $5, you can touch mine too!