Motown? Mo Like Ho-town

Dreamgirls
So Dark The Con of Bill Condon
Trailers & Mo

Oscar Bait? Yepperino to the Mth degree. A Best Picture? Phfff, girls you’d have to Dream On a bit more than Brian Benben to get that kinda recognition outta me! Dreamgirls is mos def sum blockbuster entertainment, but after about an hour of greatness, you’d wish they’d stop dealing with their girl problems in song so the movie could wrap-up in 1/2 the time. Pfffa, you all probably peg me as a musical hating misogynist who only thinks Jews are funny, well, you’d be right about the woman hating and Jew thing (remember, Krammer isn’t Jewish, and I’m trying to forget that Jackie Mason is, and yes, Sarah Silverman is not funny and I hate her). Anywho, I actually love musicals, not only cause I’m an 1/8th gay, but cause my man boobs are larger than most women’sez. Oliver! and The Sound of Music are two of my all time mos flavorite films, right next to Women Must Die…t, Goys Aint Funny, and Jackie Mason Is Really A Goy Who Must Die…t! But modern times have not produce thoroughly modern musicals of bestness. Everyone whooed and haaaed when Chicago was released, but to me that shiz was more generic than CVS brand condoms. Well, D-girls is more tolerable than Richard Gere tapdancin’, but neither are as imaginative or worth multiple viewings like the only mod movie musical even worth noting, Moulin Rouge

Before this review comes to an end, I’d just like to vent on one more topic: Jennifer Hudson. Sure, the girl has got some mad pipes (and ta-tas) on her, and after she belts her big song in the middle of the flick, right before it nosedives into bordemville, everyone in the theater went banananananas, but to say she’s this fine actress and all and shower her with more awards than golden showers Ricky Martin has endured is just beyond my comprehension. When did singing = acting? If that equation was adapted over the past decade then why didn’t her fellow Idolists Justin & Kelly get accolades galore for their fine work in From Curly Pubes To Perky Tits? Their acting was about on par with Jennifer’s, but I guess director Robert Iscove is the monster to Bill Condon‘s god

Unsatisfied with this?: buy Diana Ross & The Supremes greatestists hits

Possible Porno Name: Reamgirls

Apt MPupil3: the REAL Eddie Murphy klassic written and produced by Rick James ‘Party All The Time‘ [d|vid]

IMDb Sweeney: HA! Dreamette Anika Noni Rose co-starred with Justin & Kelly in their shitacular film

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): lambastin aside, still Jeepers Worth A Peepers cause of the fab sets, costumes, and answerin the not so age old question of what would Beyoncé look like without make-up on or with every hairdo that Diana Ross ever had

a few more flicks left to see this week/end and then next week it’s Thighs Wide Movies ’06 shiz, yo!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…