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Bizarre Ride II The Farcecyde


I’m sure your fantasy fooball league’s trade deadline is looming quicker than the next time you gonna wash yer Fruit of the Looms, so if you can’t pull off any hotness like I did, pawning off Brian Westbrook, Joe Jurevicius, and Greg Lewis, in exchange for Marvelous Harrison and Chris Brown, follow these super sleeping green giant tips and laff yerself silly all the way into the pay-offs

• QB – Sage Rosenfels at CLE, cause Jews are good with money and making people laff, so why shouldn’t they be good at tossing leather?
• RB – Lamar Gordon at NYG, cause Mike McMahon is no Jim McMahon, or Anthony Michael Hall (and Oates) for that matter
• WR – Antwaan Randle El at BAL, cause the Bible foretold a second coming of Slash
• TE – Mike Sellers vs OAK, cause his uncle Fuzzy loves himself some southern fried cookin
• K – Shaun Suisham vs DET, cause if this mammoth matchup was the only game on T-giving, people would renounce their citizenship
• D – Seahawks at SF, cause it looks like the Boz needs a new line of work, again

and…

a edvard much belated
PEACE THE FORK OUT
to everyone’s favorite
indentured servant
turned augmented cyborg
turned computer liaison officer
and sorta de-facto leader of Cloud City
who kinda looks like the principal from Back To The Future
the one
the only
the king of swing
LOBOT

1931 – 2005
[big ups to Pakula Shaker for the head]

tATu’s ‘Robot’ [d-lode]

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His Girl Thighday


And the Kingdom of Thighland would like to extend some belated breastest wishes to Her Robert Royal Lady Thighness In Waiting, Camilla Belle, who recently cele-BRA-ted her 19th terday. OH LORD, how I’d love to chum-scrubb her and Chitty-Titty bang bang her in the back of Chumley’s while listening to ‘Cherub Rock’!

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I Drink ChampagneWhen I Hustle

I drink champagne with
Nipsey Russell*

Too bad Nips won’t be
having any Moet in 5766
NIP IN PEACE!
1924-2005

Looking to get a bit Nipsey, but don’t wanna watch a brazilian hours of Gene Rayburn’s scary ass face as host of the The Match Game or Nipple’s brief 3 month stint as host of the shrill-fated Your Number’s Up? Why not hold the 1st ever Nipsey Russell Film Festival in the privacy of yer very own living room and/or fall-out shelter, featuring such hits shits as…


Meanwhile, in non-Nipsey related nipssile nippyness…

+ We bid a semi-belated peace le fork outs to writers and wrongers August ‘Mookie’ Wilson AND M. Scott Peck ‘ing order’

+ We send out big props to Abe Lincoln Town Car for proclaiming back on Rocktober the 3rd of the 1863rd year of your lord that Spanksgiving will be observed on the 4th Friday in November FO-REVER!

+ We wish America was Europe cause then Borat would be hosting our MTV Music Awards, and we’d be receivin’ 46 and 1/8 effin BEARD and MUSTACHE RIDES, from all the world champs!! [1st via Indy RePukeagain]

+ We revel in the fact that the Redskins aren’t racist, just the breastest wurstest 3-0 team mt everest and etnaiestest!

+ We are dying to own our own painting painted by Bob Ross, but perhaps one from his son Steve Ross would suffice!

+ And we needs to know if Richie Incognito is related to Guy Incognito? [via Joe E Tartar]


*borrowed genius from Chris Rock’s ‘Champagne’ [video]

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Little BuddyLost Forever

PEACE THE FORK OUT
To Everyone’s Mos Flavorite Marooned Moron
aka
Maynard G. Krebs
aka
Gilligan
aka
BOB DENVER

1935 – 2005

Qwik fact file on everyone’s first mate and other useless dribble:

– Gilligan’s first name may or may not have been Willie [Snopes for mo]

– The man-made lagoon for Gilligan’s Island cost CBS $75,000. It is still on CBS’ lot in Studio City, California.

– In reals life, Mary Ann helped to get Gill arrested on pot possession

– There were more Globetrotters on the isle than Castaways when the Harlem crew washed ashore

– Bob was once a mailman and high school teacher

– Born one day after Elvis

– Guest starred on Roseanne, ALF, The Love Boat, Baywatch, The Andy Griffith Show, Love American Style, and my personal flav, The New Gidget [pics from all here]

– Disliked loud, boring, self-centered people

– Favorite book: Horton Hatches the Egg

– Favorite TV Show: (original answer) Life Goes On, (updated answer) Antiques Road Show

– Personal flavorite Bob Denver memory: appearing as the bartender in the ’87 geniusness that was Back To The Beach

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You Are In Command Now Admiral Piett

why?
cause we bid a fond
PEACE THE FORCE OUT
to
Admiral Kendal Ozzel
aka Hitler in Last Crusade
aka Michael Sheard

1940 – 2005

• While HRT the IIIrd‘s been busy dispensing grunts in Flushing Meadows, I’ve been chilly chillin with my true girly girl of summer/hummers, Charley Church. After taking 17 cold showers after lookin at the snaps from her latest vid, I had to take another 17 after I actually saw the vid [available for jiggling d-lode here]. And you think our 2nd flavorite Welsh peach, next to Catherin-Zeta-Beta-Tomata Jones, stopped the hotness there? Well along with calling Pete Drugerty a ‘w*****’ and Bob Dylan a ‘freak’, she dared to top Alba’s sweet sweet CANdy pics with a set of her own!! MEyummmmmmmmy!! And since tis been ages since I posted an animated gif since, I figured this one Justin found may be james worthy…


• Paris, je t’aime, aka 20 stories/films of love, from the city of love, aka one of the bestest assembling of directorS and actors mt EVERest.

• If Keds remade Braveheart with Mischa Barfon, it would probably look something like this

• Titles by Saul Bass

• The Catholic Church’s latest attempt at being cool. Maybe they should team up with Keds & Mischa

• The Hank Garrett Interview

• A nice, but small collection of Booger snaps

• Interesting order of results when Googling ‘museum’

• Can anyone name all those who make up Roy G Biv above? It’s not that hard, but in the meantime, go here

• Morer funnier than all of Anchorman [vid via Shady Harry’s Son]

• Streetsy

• Arcade Flyers

• Cats In Sinks

• JSF Worthless Baseball Card Collection… c’mon, one day that Lenn Sakata will be worth nillions!! [via the Mask]

• The hipster strap-on

• Fucking, Austria

• And I don’t know bout the rest of y’alls, but I was heavily saturated with nuttin but 007 these past couple o weeks, thanks to AMC, who don’t really have classics anymore, and I guess don’t always show movies that are American. And after watching both The Living Daylights and License to Kill, I’ve decided to change my long standing negative position on Timothy Dalton in a tux. Sure, he’s far from attractive (what’s up wit dat hair yo?!?), a lot bit boring, and co-starred in The Beautician and the Beast, but the dude was so forking hugo and BOSS when it was his turn to James Bond it up. We don’t even have to mention King Connery here (or one-timer George Lazenby), but Dalty brought much more weight and seriousnessness to the role than Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan ever did. He was a darker, angrier Bond, and it worked to a tee when he was defying his orders, and even going all rouge and shit to avenge the death of his pal Felix Leiter’s wife and Felix Leiter’s missing leg that was eaten off by a shark!! Plus Daylights and Kill where also the last best Bond flicks (sorry Pierce, you surely had the look, in a Roxette kinda way, but didn’t have the scripts to back it up in your three tries… Christmas Jones, wtforkment anyone?!?@!?##!). And those Bond flicks sure gave Dalty some choice o bond chicks!! To this day, I’m still in love with Maryam d’Abo, Carey Lowell, and Talisa Soto. I should get them all together for a kinda ghetro older ladies Charlie’s Angels thingamajig.



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