Thighs Wide Shut

All info below taken from U2.com.

NORTH AMERICA DATES AND TICKETING INFORMATION

March 28th San Diego, CA – Sports Arena

April 1st Anaheim, CA – Arrowhead Pond

April 5th Los Angeles, CA – Staples Center

April 9th San Jose, CA – HP Pavilion

April 14th Phoenix, AZ – Glendale Arena

April 20th Denver, CO – Pepsi Center

April 24th Seattle, WA – Key Arena

April 28th Vancouver, BC – General Motors Place

May 7th & May 9th Chicago, IL – United Center

May 14 Philadelphia, PA – Wachovia Center

May 17 & May 18 East Rutherford, NJ – Continental Airlines Arena

May 21 New York, NY – Madison Square Garden

May 24 & May 26 Boston, MA – Fleet Center

Tickets for performances in Boston, Chicago, Denver, Philadelphia and San Diego will go on sale this Saturday, January 29th.

Tickets for performances in Los Angeles, Anaheim and San Jose go on sale this Sunday, January 30th and tickets for New York and East Rutherford go on sale next Monday, January 31st. (All additional on sale dates will be announced in the next few weeks.)

Once again, U2 will offer General Admission floor tickets giving fans the best view in the house for the lowest ticket price. Reserved seat tickets in the stands will also be available. In North America, general admission floor tickets will be $49.50 (plus applicable service fees). Additional ticket prices will vary per market. There will be an 8 ticket limit per person with a maximum purchase of 2 general admission floor tickets.

EUROPEAN DATES AND TICKETING INFORMATION

June 10th Brussels – King Baudouin Stadium

June 12th Gelsenkirchen – Schalke Stadium

June 14th Manchester – City of Manchester Stadium

June 18th London – Twickenham Stadium

June 21st Glasgow – Hampden Park

June 24th Dublin – Croke Park

June 29th Cardiff – Millenium Stadium

2nd July Vienna – Ernst Happel Stadium

5th July Katowice – Slaski Stadium

7th July Berlin – Olympic Stadium

9th July Paris – Stade de France

11th July Zurich – Letzigrund Stadium

13th July Amsterdam – Arena

19th July Milan – San Siro

23rd July Rome – Olympic Stadium

27th July Oslo – Vallehovin Stadium

29th July Gothenburg – Ullevi Stadium

31st July Copenhagen – Parken

3rd August Munich – Olympic Stadium

5th August Nice – Parc des Sports Charles Ehrmann

7th August Barcelona – Camp Nou

9th August San Sebastian – Anoeta Stadium

11th August Madrid – Estadio Vicente Calderon

14th August Lisbon – Alvalade

Tickets for the UK shows go on sale at 9am Friday, January 28th; tickets for

Brussels go on sale Saturday, January 29th and tickets for Dublin go on sale on Friday 4th February. (All additional on sale dates will be announced in the coming weeks.)

Paid-up subscribers to U2.Com http://www.u2.com/subscribe can take

part in a presale of tour tickets which begins on Tuesday 25th January, four days ahead of the general onsale – they will receive an e-mail about this direct with booking information.

– Who couldn’t care less about the Golden Globe winners, hispecially since Leo wasn’t beeleaveable for a second as Howie Hughes, yet couldn’t stop staring at Nancy O’Dell’s body during the preshow? ME!

– Who this guy with the guile and gumption to post mp3s for every track of Beck’s new album? Gawd only knows, but thanks to StereoScottSkiles and Productson for the linklove.

– Who knew that Kip/Aaron Ruell from Napoleon Dynamite was such a dynamite photographer? Maybe Aaron’s mum?

– Who returns from the grave next Tuesday with a Mouthfeel? Magnapop does and yous can download their ultra-catchy single ‘Smile 4U’ here.

– Who was the least biggest sirprize in da Da Vinci Code‘s casting? Jean Reno as detective Bezu Fache. While Opie’s at it, why doesn’t he sign up Leon’s padawan, Matilda!!!!!!

– Who could easily become Her Royal Thighness The III? This 100 pound chick who became the first person to eat a six-pound hamburger in under three hours! [via Posh & Becker]

– Who the scrooge are Autolux? Beats the spork outta me, but count dem in for Coachella. [via The Mesh Board]

– Who is Harry Crumb? Ask Shawnee.

– Who has been house hunting the homes of Bush’s cabinet? Probably not LL, who rocketh.

– Who knew Andy Rooney had a son, let alone banged someone, and that his son was also a reporter? I dunno, but I bet he’s much more qualified than Jeremy Schaap.

– Who Flung Poo?

– Who be hittin the road this April that you butter go see cause I juss told you to do so or ELSE?? Les Fiery Furnaces, and with their last show slated for the end of April in San Fran, is it safe to say they’ll be Coachella bound? [via The Veggie Head via The Cowboy]

Wed 04/06/05 Cleveland, OH The Spot

Sat 04/09/05 New York, NY Bowery Ballroom

Sun 04/10/05 Brooklyn, NY North Six

Tue 04/12/05 Detroit, MI Magic Stick

Wed 04/13/05 Newport, KY Southgate House

Fri 04/15/05 Atlanta, GA Emory University

Sat 04/16/05 Nashville, TN Exit / In

Sun 04/17/05 Saint Louis, MO Washington University

Tue 04/19/05 Columbia, MO Blue Note

Wed 04/20/05 Lawrence, KS The Bottleneck

Fri 04/22/05 Boulder, CO Fox Theatre

Sat 04/23/05 Salt Lake City, UT In The Venue

Thu 04/28/05 San Francisco, CA Great American Music Hall

Fri 04/29/05 San Francisco, CA Great American Music Hall

– And finally… Who got their a$$ royally spanked by His Royal Thighness in some HOT Literati action, yet still was nice enuff to provide us all with the fine animated gif you see below? Giddy-up Giddy Gideon. Bless you my dear.

– Lohan wasn’t lying on her debut LP when she said, “I’m sick of rumors startin’“. Well, now she’s out to clear up some of dem nasty rumors. First of all, she doesn’t really eat muffins contrary to popular belief. And secondly, she’s allergic to blueberries! Well I heard a rumor that she once had to have her Lohandlers beat the fork outta poor Violet Beauregarde cause her blueberryness was giving Her Former Royal Thighness rashes.

– One more Jamaica reflection: why in the hill do white people get cornrows? They look so stooopid in em. Not even Bo D could escape the oooooooglyness.

– Want some Team Zissou Adidas kicks? The closet thing yer gonna get are these homemade versions now being sold on eBay.

– Hey Garvster, how come I wasn’t included The NY Post’s list of people to watch in New York for 2005?

– Although The Ziegfeld ranked 159th in ticket sales in New York, they have no plans to close up shop, unlike the 596 other single movie theaters that have done so since 2001. Wurse cums the wurst, they could always turn it into a porn theater called the Jizzfeld.

– Sandra Buttox finally does something good.

– I disagree with the Rooney’s view on public art, but it was a hill-air-e-us way to start of ’05. (Be sure to watch the video clip instead of reading the transcript)

– Make some noise, Illy style, for The Land of Lincoln’s new state amphibian and state reptile, the Eastern tiger salamander and the painted turtle, respectively.

– Why do we call Deutschland, ‘Germany’? Who needs Clarissa, when Cecil eggsplains it all.

– Will Steak-on-a-Stick and The BagelPeach be the new Crystal Pepsi (aka the dumbestest idea since I decided to run against Mayor McCheese)? Time will tell. [via Future Brother-In-Law of yers drooly]

– What’s wrong with this (playoff) picture? All shirts and no SKINS!!

– Know that annoying ‘Pump Up The Movie’ ad that tells you to silence yer cell phones, playing in movie theaters? Well, tis gots its own a nice website. Be sure to play the ‘Cheerleader Toss’ game.

– A week too late, but take a visit to UglyChristmasLights.com

– The Yuckiest Little Miniature Golf Course in the West

– Besides a list of top flicks of 2005 that I still owe u alls, there won’t be any other look backs at ’04… until TWS.org’s one year annie verse airy this March.

– And I’m sorry, but Aishwarya Rai is mos certainly NOT the world’s most beautiful woman. That title is reserved for Her Royal Thighness, dElishious Cuthspurt. Splugebovs Squareseaman!

First and foreskinmost, our first fork job goes out to homosexual people lover/sack machine, Reginald White

1961 to 2004

Instead of speaking on behalf of a man I hardly knew, I’ll let Reg do all the talkin’ here… from a lil speech he gave to the Wisconsin state legislature (that Mr Joe E Tata thankfully reminded me of):

When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it. White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world. Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure. When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They’re very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality.

2nd and secondmostest, to les Redskins, who no longer grace the

playoff race list. That’s so friggin race-ist. We still love ya Gibbsy, and yes, even you Daniel Snyder. Keep spending.

3rd rockfromthesunest, to my eyeballs for peeping 5 movies since last Wednesday. Full reviews won’t be posted until 2005, so here’s a jist(ta-fy my love) of dem…

Fockers – not too funny, a lot of retread, and more ‘Focker’ jokes than one can handle in a two-hour span, but somehow still a highly entertaining piece of work.

Hotel Rwanda – one of the year’s breastest. plain and simple.

Aviator – good, not great, but hey, beats Gangs of New York anyday. I’m a lil irate they didn’t cover the last years of his life, which all of us want to see more than anything. Biggest shoe-in for Best Supporting Actress: Can you say Cate Blanchett as Katharine Hepburn? Can you say CB be finest female actor in the bidness?

Lemony Snizzle’s Series of Something or Others – one of the mostest beautiful looking movies I’ve ever seen. Right up there with Neverending Story, Princess Bride, Harry Pothead the III, or any Tim Burton jounks. Jim Carrey is sniztacular and although she’s only like 6, I’ve got future dibs on Emily Browning. There’s just something about fish-net sleeves that get me all eggcited.

Phantom of the Opera – well, at least the music was good, and looking at JenniferEllison was a nice.

and fourth and tenmostest, I’d live to peace the fork out myself, as I head to Jamaica with family Thighs. I’ll try and post, but I may be too busy czeching out the scenery greenery. In the greenwich meantime, Mr Thought will kindly keep you posted. 2004 kinda blew, so I’ll see you sukkah mcs in 2005. I loves you alls more than yule ever know. X’s and Ho’s, and in Cuthbert we lust and thrust…

and life to…

April cunt cum soon enuff. Until then, I’ll be hungry like Scott Wolf… looking for his next big role!!