Muffin Diving
03. Jan, 2005 
0 Comments
– Lohan wasn’t lying on her debut LP when she said, “I’m sick of rumors startin’“. Well, now she’s out to clear up some of dem nasty rumors. First of all, she doesn’t really eat muffins contrary to popular belief. And secondly, she’s allergic to blueberries! Well I heard a rumor that she once had to have her Lohandlers beat the fork outta poor Violet Beauregarde cause her blueberryness was giving Her Former Royal Thighness rashes.
 |
– One more Jamaica reflection: why in the hill do white people get cornrows? They look so stooopid in em. Not even Bo D could escape the oooooooglyness.
– Want some Team Zissou Adidas kicks? The closet thing yer gonna get are these homemade versions now being sold on eBay.
– Hey Garvster, how come I wasn’t included The NY Post’s list of people to watch in New York for 2005?
– Although The Ziegfeld ranked 159th in ticket sales in New York, they have no plans to close up shop, unlike the 596 other single movie theaters that have done so since 2001. Wurse cums the wurst, they could always turn it into a porn theater called the Jizzfeld.
– Sandra Buttox finally does something good.
– I disagree with the Rooney’s view on public art, but it was a hill-air-e-us way to start of ’05. (Be sure to watch the video clip instead of reading the transcript)
– Make some noise, Illy style, for The Land of Lincoln’s new state amphibian and state reptile, the Eastern tiger salamander and the painted turtle, respectively.
– Why do we call Deutschland, ‘Germany’? Who needs Clarissa, when Cecil eggsplains it all.
– Will Steak-on-a-Stick and The BagelPeach be the new Crystal Pepsi (aka the dumbestest idea since I decided to run against Mayor McCheese)? Time will tell. [via Future Brother-In-Law of yers drooly]
– What’s wrong with this (playoff) picture? All shirts and no SKINS!!
– Know that annoying ‘Pump Up The Movie’ ad that tells you to silence yer cell phones, playing in movie theaters? Well, tis gots its own a nice website. Be sure to play the ‘Cheerleader Toss’ game.
– A week too late, but take a visit to UglyChristmasLights.com
– The Yuckiest Little Miniature Golf Course in the West
– Besides a list of top flicks of 2005 that I still owe u alls, there won’t be any other look backs at ’04… until TWS.org’s one year annie verse airy this March.
– And I’m sorry, but Aishwarya Rai is mos certainly NOT the world’s most beautiful woman. That title is reserved for Her Royal Thighness, dElishious Cuthspurt. Splugebovs Squareseaman!
