Thighs Wide Shut

•

pootube help from The Thinker, Ad Mich, Guns n Rosenthal, The Fan House & Andre Dawson Lover #1

+ fab BONUS: The Good, The Bad & The Queen‘s 9:30 Club show in em pee three format [d via NPR]

300
What The Dilios?
Trailers & mo

Â

I loves me some mindless entertainment, but 300 is sain and plimply mindless. If yer as big a fan of HBO’s Rome, as yer beloved Thigh Mizzle is, then you will probably agree that this flick is not even as good as its wurstest episode… and for the record, there hasn’t been one single bad edish of the Lucius Vorenus-Titus Pullo funfest. Many have admitted that there’s no soul, heart or real emotion goings on in this big screen adaptation of this ‘beloved’ Frank Miller graphic novel, but it hasn’t seem to bother them (I guess they were also fans of Tarsem’s The Cell). Well, it bothers the hechinger’s outta me cause all the green/blue screen special effects aren’t the least bit impressive. So if a flick has no core and no shiny outside then it is truly nothing. Not for a lack of trying, but 300 is a total failure when you compare it to the other Frank Miller trip down cinema lane: Sin City [TWS.org review]. So why did Sin City rock and 300 suck my cock? Besides the obvious like the casts and directors 300 tries too hard to be serious that it’s laffabull… shit. It seems more like a dumb comic book movie than a graphic novel film. I was so annoyed by the cocky Spartans that I was secretly rooting for the Persians to webster slaughter them by the end of the first battle. Hell, there was more drama from the Spartans of Michigan State when they took my Terps to the wire at MSG in November than there was in this neverending slo-motion sword and sandal shit pic. But don’t take my word for it. I bet Captain Oveur‘s a big fan.

to sum up, or for those who skipped the first paragraph, 300 is a two hour poor man’s version of this redonkeylessly overproduced Marines commerish from yesteryear…

Possible Porno Name: Three Humpettes

Apt MPupil3: Sparta’s ‘The Most Vicious Crime‘ [d]

Gettin Graphic: Apparently director Zak Snyder can’t stop adapting, as the long gestating film version of Alan Moore’s classic graphic novel The Watchman is next on his docket

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): I find no merit in the movie, but it’s not a complete zero, but since one-star flicks leo getz the same label as zeros… Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous•

and all apologies go out to Britain’s Amistadish Amazing Grace and Anthony Minghella’s modern day melodrama Breaking & Entering. We saw both of these 8+ mos before they were released in theaters and never got around to reviewing them. There’s a reason why it took so long for them to get to theaters and so I figure that that was reason enuff to not review them. While I’d say each are worth a peep, I’d also have to say that both are underwhelming

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Yours thighly cannot keep away from the fair city that is Bloomington, Indiana. In a little over a year, including this jaunt, I’ve hit Indiana’s only cultural hotspot a whoppin 3 times! Take that other Hoosier alumni! Last time on the IU, me gots to see my beloved Skins fall to the eventual world champs, and richard prior to that one, I sported my Redskins Cliff Engle sweater. No racist football club paraphernalia was on hand on this go around, but that didn’t stop the inevitable: my nauseous egg farts that cannot only clear a room, but a sidewalk. Yep, they be so nasty that they can even knock out people walking OUTDOORS! The pictures documenting this annual expedition are slowly becoming more popular than the ones taken on the red carpet at the Academy Awards. Well, that may not be true, but would you rather look at Jennifer Hudson wearing a midget jacket or my hands covered in a white sauce that doesn’t come from a penis?

Me & da crew had a gay olde thyme

about as gay as this hat

Sleaze Bo hadn’t been back in 10 years

but he didn’t fear
like Stephen Frears
looking into a mirror

even though things change
the song always remains the same

so gawd bless today’s students
for making a stand about those who do not stand!

Cliff Engle sweater fever will never die

and when I die I want to be buried in this sweater

and for your weak a$$ paint job

I will fist hump you!!

there was plenty of monkey bidness abound

a gorilla suit?
no, a gibbon suit!

poor Jeff Katz




although how can we feel bad
when every man who pee’s at Nick’s
will know his name and apparently the status of his cock

no one can stop my Masthole

or my a$$hole after eating everything but White Caslte

speaking of my toxic gas

the Village Pantry has
les bestest chicken salad sangwhich
in da land

and the Cresent

made me moon
as in pullin down me pants
and poop the 27839123478 donuts I inhaled
with pleasure!

mouth wide shut?
NEVER

for when it comes to eating
I’m the #1 slut

to you this Buffa Louie gooeyness may look gross

but to me, I say it’s art
and that you my friend are the one who’s morose!

•Sweep Success
for Terps
• •

As seen on the MD boards: Things more successful than ESPN’s production of Maryland/Duke [Reg req]

Previously on the Scheyer Face: Face The Nation

we shall be drinking St Ides
until the Ides of March
when the tourney madness begins!
GO TWERPS!!!

We…

hit 4 mil visitors

3/4 of which are the FBI & The Department of Homeland Insecurity

learn that we’re #1 in image searches on Yahoo! for

although we’d prefer it was for Scheyer Face

stroked a dildo and a double edged one at that for the fist time
•
hard to bee leave, I know
and pun intended, I know

watched Colonel Honey Mustard

murder Private Pyle in the latrine with said dildo

&

not a milestone
but miles away better than the Bears’ Super Bowl Shuffle…

[the Bog]

spank the LORD of the cock rings
for not letting Little Ms
take the top(less) prize

fool Oscar wrap up to come…