Thighs Wide Shut

Beck
MGMT
United Palace Theatre
October 10th

[mo pics from CLme]

OK, so we missed all but one MGMT song cause we were too busy throwing TVs outta hotel rooms, and that sucked (the missing MGMT part, not the TV tossin), but we promises to see them another thyme cause they is totes rad y cool. anywho, in a short but very very berry sweet performance Beck was an A-Pro. he mixed bidness with pleasure, homework with heather, the freaks flocked together, and all the lesbians screamed. he was youthful, not youthless and the trails he blazed were chem-licious. the new tunes from Modern Guilt sounded beyond amazin AND thunderdome that it’s totally modern built to last, forevers. some might even say, his bestest work since the back2back infinite playlistednessness of Mutations and Midnite Vultures. he’s a midnite marauder, and we hopesszz he keeps bouncing. too bad the audience was tres lames and didn’t rock out as much as Beck or wees did. what’s wrong with you nia peoples?

bi the gay, if yer ever seeing a show at the Palace, be sure to eat and poop yer brains out across the street at the original El Malecón (there’s a second one located near ThighLand HQ). they have one of the moist yumtastic cubano sangwiches wees has mt EVERest had and mt FUJI!!!!

further nicotine & gravy:

Beck To The Future

Coachella Hellz Yealla So Much To Tella Lets Spread On The Nutella Part II

Happy-Go-Lucky
Lucky Charms
Trailers & Mo

When a Mike Leigh film is released, without question, you should go and see it. The man is incapable of bad filmmaking, and if you’ve seen anything he’s made, we’re sure you’ll agree. If the titles Naked, Vera Drake, All or Nothing, Meantime, Topsy-Turvy or Secrets & Lies don’t sound familiar, then you need to familiarize yo-self with them pronto tonto! They all are rich works that explore the banality of everyday (British working class) life, rife with both heartwarming and heartbreaking moments that are so genuine you’ll have a hard time ever forgetting them. The same is mos definitely true with his latest, Happy-Go-Lucky, although it’s more on the heartwarming than breaking side. Leigh knows how to assemble a top notch ensemble cast (he’s like a British Altman or Woody Allen), and has the magic touch to bring out especially amazing performances from his leading ladies. He’s put brilliant, yet relatively little known (at least stateside) veteran actresses Imelda Staunton, Brenda Blethyn and Marianne Jean-Baptiste on the map, by guiding them all to their first (and in some cases, maybe last) Best Acting Oscar nomination. It will probably happen a 4th time with Sally Hawkins (a Leigh regular player, and last seen as Colin Farrell’s neurotic lady in Woody’s Cassandra’s Dream), the happy-go-lucky title gal, who has been rightly buzzed about as one of the five possible females gunnin for the top spot at the 2009 Academy Awards. Her performance as the appropriately nick-named Poppy is a pure revelation, even more so than what Anne Hathaway done did in Rachel Getting Married (it’s common knowledge that Hath’s a great actress, but we guess she needed to stop being cast as a princess for everyone to realize it). Nothing can drag the lovely Poppy down, eggcept when she sees bad things happening to the students she teaches (the more tender bits of the film). When her bike gets stolen, she treats the news with a shrug and then carries on with her footloose and fancy free day. Ms Sunshine has run-ins with negative Nancies all over town (including her beyond no-nonsense driving instructor Eddie Marsan, another uber-brills Leigh regular) and she tries her best to raise a smile outta them all. While it doesn’t work 100% with the grumpy Guses onscreen, it will with everyone off-screen. A splendid time is guaranteed for all, and tonight, Mr Kite won’t be topping the bill

Happy-Go Hunting: czech out Leigh’s extensive shooting locations tour that he gave Time Out London. we will, as soon as we complete our life’s goal of visiting the Clockwork Orange locales

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Body of Lies
Body Ardor
Trailers & Mo

The fictional modern warfare flicks they be puttin in theaters these days that star terrorism as public enemy #1 have been more dud-ly than Dudley Do-Right doing lots of wrong. We’d almos rather be sent to Guantanamo than sit thru Traitor, Rendition, War, Inc. or You Don’t Mess With The Zohan again. And that’s what makes Body of Lies a lot more enjoyable than it actually is. It’s nuttin but a generic espionage thriller that’s elevated to popcorn pleaser-land by Ridley Scott’s usual solid direction (it’s no 1984 Apple commercial, but hey what is?), Leo DiCaprio‘s dedication to his role (he speaks Arabic! yet wanders around the Middle East undercover wearing a baseball cap in land where no one wears baseball caps!), and a heckulva lot of explosions across the globe (although Bret and Jemaine are the true Boom Kings). Russell Crowe‘s the other marquee name, but he doesn’t really add much tat all, considering he’s mostly phoning in his performance. And we don’t juss mean that figuratively, since he’s the pencil pushing CIA guy back in the states calling the shots via his blue-toothed cellphone. His lack of presence is made up by admirable supporting work by Mark Strong (also crazy good in RocknRolla), Simon McBurney (‘that guy’ with ‘that voice’ whom we love oh so much) and Leo’s Muslim Florence Nightingale, Golshifteh Farahani. Yesh, there’s a lil Old/New
world romance between Leo and a nurse, and while it may feel out of place with the rest of what’s going on, it makes a nice diversion to the diversion that we’re already watching. The film reminded us a lot of the Robert Redford-Brad Pitt burner Spy Game, which was not so oddly enuff directed by Ridley’s brother Tony. Come to sphinx of it, this fluffy-nutter movie may have been better off in his brother’s hands. Probably would been a bit mo flashy and fun, like Man On Fire and Domino. Come to sphinx of it part II, we kinda heart Tony more than we do Ridley, and that aint no lies, cause we have a Body of THIGHS!

AKA-47: although named after the book of the same name by David Ignatius, there were some other working titles for the film, including Penetration. wonder why they didn’t run with that one? and what, Going Under Covers wasn’t ever an option?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Go-Lucky opens in limited release today, while Lies and The Duchess expands to play at a theater new jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

remember Peaches Records & Tapes?! didn’t think so, but we do! before our area had Tower Records, we had Peaches! they would display their records in peach crates! eat that crate and barrel and patrick crayton barrel! they used to give customers free record-shaped gum that came in a mini record sleeves! that was more awesome than flawesome’s creek! whatever that means!

Ben Kingsley’s a minor threat!

Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy, juss as unfunny as Family Guy or anything else that guy touches! please stop!

more Gorillaz!
maybe more Blur!
no more ProductShopNYC, wtf?!

the Stark Trek movie juss got a lil hotter!
anyone for a game of golf?!

Cardboard Box, Bath Mat, And Pinata!

Hulk Boobs smash! [Crusiespanko!]

Emma Rigby in an ugly bikini!

The 30 Worst Autobiography Pun Titles!

Sue Lyon!

Travis’ kissed the girl!

a moment of silence Harold Faltermeye’s Fletch theme in memory of Gregory McD! [Andre Dawson’s Sondaw!]

Armed & Topless! [NSFW!]

and looking for that perfect gift for that special someone that loves wearing hats that have crazy quotes that came from the lips of crazy football coaches?! then look no further than Dennis Green’s â„¢ed caps, including such classic phrases that payses like ‘They Are Who We Thought They Were‘ and ‘We Let Them Off The Hook‘! wanna know what’s off the hook?! these hats!!!

and this justin: MATT MILLEN, FINALLY FIRED!!

and OMG: DREW BARRYMORE & CHUCK BASS?!?!?!?!

listen to Jack White & Alicia Key’s ‘Another Way To Die’, the theme song to November’s Bond flick Quantum of Solace

it’s not nearly as amazing as you’d think it would be, or even as rockin as Chris Cornell’s ‘You Know My Name‘ [d] from Casino Royale. it’s too early to rank it against all the other Bond theme songs, but wethinks Shirley Bassey and Duran Duran won’t be losing any sleep. tis a shame though, considering how yumcredible Jack White’s Coca-Cola song ‘What Goes Around Comes Around‘ [d|vid] is. anyone else out there dying to hear what an Amy Winehouse Bond theme song would sound like? We’re sure the answer is yes, yes, yes

Ghost Town
Ghost In The Mush-Sheen
Trailers & Mo

From the man that wrote the screenplay for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (read into that however you likes) comes a film that greatly suffers from genre personality disorder. David Koepp’s Ghost Town starts off as a light comedy that turns into a light romantic comedy, then into a not so light romantic drama and finally ends up being a light drama, complete with aliens in a Mayan temple. This roller coaster of mishmashed emotions serves as Ricky Gervais‘ first starring role in a Hollywood movie, after bit parts that stood out in such poop as Stardust, Night At The Museum and For Your Consideration. Gervais, best know for playing David Brent on the UK version of The Office, is a solid choice to play wise-cracking, people loathing dentist Bertram Pincus (can you say bestest character name of the year?), cause he’s the only one keeping this film afloat. He’s relatively unknown in the States, but for audiences who go and see this fluff piece, hopefully that won’t be the case anymore. After having a near-death experience at the hospital, Gervais makes like Haley Joel Omelette and sees dead people. His Bruce Willis is Greg Kinnear, a cheating husband who got ran over by a bus, and his Olivia Williams (where the ef have you been, you cutie pie?) is Téa Leoni, the widow that Kinnear wants Gervais to prevent from marrying some d-bag. He’s reluctant at first, but eventually takes on the assignment, and in the process starts falling for Leoni, as well as re-evaluating his wise-cracking, people loathing ways. Didn’t see that coming, did you? There are a bunch of other ghosts (including Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!) begging Pincus to help them as well, but there’s so little attention paid to them until the very end that it feels kinda tacked on. To make up for it, they should turn this idea into a TV sitcom, where Ricky G helps dead people. Maybe they can make Haley Joel Omelette his partner and then we can see them seeing dead people! DEAD PEOPLE!!!!

The Song Doesn’t Remain The Same: although the choice of using the Beatles ‘I’m Looking Through You’ in the title sequence was a fine one, we think they missed a golden opp to use the Specials’ classic song that shares the same name as the film’s title [d]

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Battle In Seattle
WTOh Snap!
Trailers & Mo

In 1999 the World Trade Organization met in Seattle to discuss things and stuff about the organization, the world and trading (sounds juss as thrilling as the snooze-fest Trade Federation scenes in the new Star Wars movies, eh?). It was all poorly organized (sorry, there was no better word to use) and to make splatters worse, there were a zillion different groups protesting the meetings. What started off as simple civil disobedience, qwikly turned ugly, and bloody and gassy (not in a flatulence kinda way) and all hell broke loose. Windows were smashed, and so were faces, as the city was forced to send in the brute squad (I am the Brute Suqad!). First time director Stuart Townsend (aka, Mr Charlize Theron and the guy who was originally suppose to play Aragorn in LOTR) takes this high-charged event and throws a bunch of fictional characters around it to humanize the experience. There’s a pregnant lady (Charlize, doing Stuart a favor) caught in the maelstrom between the brute squad (led by her not so brute on-screen hubby Woody Harrelson, and his pretty brute pretty boy pal Channing Tatum) that was sent in by the frantic mayor (Ray Liotta), who are all trying to keep the peace with the protesters (Martin Henderson, Michelle Rodriguez, André 3000 and Jennifer Carpenter), whilst the action is being captured on TV by the local news hottie (Connie Nielsen). Townsend intercuts actual footage from the melee into the film to heighten the realism and the drama, which was a wise idea considering how staged his reenactments appear. Like with Ghost Town, little focus is thrown on the minor players who are of more interest. The WTO peoples are pushed into the background (unless you count a few scenes with an angry Rade Serbedzija), and it never becomes clear as to what they’re doing that’s so wrong to provoke these protests in the first place. Nonetheless, it’s worth a look, so this lady wonth protest too much

Keep Battalin’: there’ll be another Battle In Seattle this year, but this one pits the Gonzaga Bulldogs vs the UCONN Huskies

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hounddog
You Aint Nothing… Much
Trailers & Mo

Yes, this is the Dakota Fanning gets raped movie. Most of the film you’re waiting for it to happen, and then when it does, there’s the rest of the film and that’s purty much that. Yep. And before and after the shocking deed is done, which isn’t so shocking cause you know it’s coming, Dakota Fanning sings Elvis Presley’s ‘Hound Dog’ like 10 nillion thymes and Piper Laurie yells and David Morse is creepy, then is struck by lightning and becomes stoopid and naked, and Robin Wright Penn comes and goes and there’s a bunch of nice helpful African Americans being nice and helpful to the white folk cause this is the South of olde and then the credits roll

EnTitled: here’s our picks for the top twenty films where the title is based on a song (we’re not including movies where the song was created juss for a movie, like Purple Rain, or are featured in a musician’s biopic, like La Bamba, or are other films found in this post, cause they wouldn’t even crack the top 100)

1. Stand By Me – Ben E King
2. Blue Velvet – Bobby Vinton
3. Boys Don’t Cry – The Cure
4. Pretty In Pink – The Psychedelic Furs
5. Mister Lonely – Bobby Vinton
6. Man On Fire – Andy Gibb
7. Boogie Nights – Heatwave
8. Roxanne – The Police
9. Sixteen Candles – The Crests
10. Pump Up The Volume – M|A|R|R|S
11. Valley Girl – Frank Zappa
12. Pieces of April – Three Dog Night
13. Man On The Moon – REM
14. Some Kind of Wonderful – The Drifters or Grand Funk Railroad
15. Strange Brew – Cream
16. 24 Hour Party People – Happy Mondays
17. Can’t Buy Me Love – Beatles
18. Less Than Zero – Elvis Costello
19. (My Own) Private Idaho – The B52s
20. Walk Like A Man – Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

what say you?
although don’t say anything if yer top pick is Pretty Woman

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Seattle and Dog open in limited release, while Ghost Town will play at a theater near jews starting tomorrow

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…