Thighs Wide Shut

Peterloo
Speak Loudly and Carry No Big Sticks
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 154 min

Whenever writer/director Mike Leigh has a project in the works, I get super excited.  Sure, his movies aren’t Marvel spectacles, but that’s why I get excited, because they are the opposite of those.  Leigh’s films are intricate, fraught and tender character pieces, with a strong emphasis on character.  When I heard his next film was called Peterloo, I was like, ooooh, what’s that?  Is that Waterloo’s brother?  Is it somewhere on the Tube’s Bakerloo line?  Whatever, I was all in, regardless of what it was!

And what Peterloo was is something that takes Leigh far out of his wheelhouse, and into the wide open cities and countryside.  We could see this coming.  When he dropped his previous film on us, the excellent Mr Turner, his canvas was starting to expand outside of the modern day British home, and with his latest he goes for the gusto in a large ensemble piece about human rights and strife in early 19th century England

The talk here in 1819 is big and LOUD.  Any actor you see in this movie certainly brought Leigh their A-game and acted the SH$T out of whatever lines he gave them (Rory Kinnear gets the biggest A+ out of all the other A-gamers).  And I hung on every single word spoken.  The message was clear (and again, LOUD), but the whole felt more like pieces that never made a complete picture  

In the final act, the talk turned into action, where we learn what Peterloo was.  What started as a peaceful public meeting of the Nothern English people, who were sick of being ignored and under-represented in Parliament, turned into something horrid.  The local authorities in power sensed that the people and their assembly were a threat and so they issued arrest warrants for the meeting’s key speakers.  Calvarymen charged in to keep the peace, but chaos is what actually ensued.  It turned into a giant massacre, and Leigh’s film ends with bloodshed, and more questions than answers.  That’s probably the point, but as an American with little knowledge of English history and their civil rights, having things spelled out (how about some text at the end of what happened next) would have certainly helped.  Still, my ears are still ringing from all the big talk!  Let freedom ring, LOUD AND CLEAR!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Peterloo talks the good talk in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Mr Turner
In Living Watercolor
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 150 min

Mike Leigh‘s movies are works of art, so it’s no stretch for the master to take on another. He did it before with much fun and flare about Gilbert & Sullivan in 1999’s Topsy-Turvy, and he does it again, with JMW Turner in his lush AND drab Mr Turner

You should go see this, no questions asked. Why? Wait, that’s a question. Well, as we’ve said before… When a Mike Leigh film is released, without question, you should go and see it. The man is incapable of bad filmmaking, and if you’ve seen anything he’s made, we’re sure you’ll agree

In Mr Turner, Leigh paints JMW’s life with very broad strokes, but he certainly pours on the minute details. It begins with Turner at the height of his career, and follows him to the coughy-end, when photography was on the rise, and his style of painting and his health was on the decline

Leigh couldn’t have reached the finish line so masterfully if he hadn’t turned to longtime collaborator Timothy Spall to embody the big bodied painter. Spall’s performance is of few words, but many many many grumbles, sneers, blurps, and gasps of breath, and it’s engrossingly amazing

The film is literally watching paint dry, and yet it’s the opposite of boring + it’s a Mike Leigh film, which means you should go see it. Why? NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Mr Turner turns it on today, in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Another Year
Another Mike Leigh Gem
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Think we’ll have to keep reusing what we said in the opening paragraph of our Happy Go Lucky review:

When a Mike Leigh film is released, without question, you should go and see it. The man is incapable of bad filmmaking, and if you’ve seen anything he’s made, we’re sure you’ll agree. If the titles Naked, Vera Drake, All or Nothing, Meantime, Topsy-Turvy or Secrets & Lies don’t sound familiar, then you need to familiarize yo-self with them pronto tonto! They all are rich works that explore the banality of everyday (British working class) life, rife with both heartwarming and heartbreaking moments that are so genuine you’ll have a hard time ever forgetting them. The same is mos definitely true with his latest…

…Another Year. Yep, this guy has the golden filmmaking touch (and we’re not juss talking about getting his actors Oscar noms, which does and righfully happen), and he’s doing the fine serious adult themed work that Woody Allen used to do all the time.  If yer looking for hot babes and explosions, look elsewhere, cause his films thrive on words, good and bad ones.  Can you handle that???  You should

And like the Woodman, Leigh continually leans on a marvelously talented group of actors.  In Year he recruits stalwarts Jim Broadbent, Ruth Sheen and Lesley Manville, side players Oliver Maltman and Peter Wight + throwing a big screen bone to the caretaker of Hogwarts (David Bradley).  We don’t even need to bother explaining what characters they people play and what they’re all about cause they’re all so perfect at playing them and being them (Lesley Manville tops them all with her go for broken performance, and in our humble mumble opinion, deserves the Best Actress statuette).  Plus why should we bother, since you should see this without question.  Sure, it may not be the world’s strongest Mike Leigh film, but even an above average Mike Leigh film is still better than 98.23% of the flicks playing in a theater right now.  Hear, hear to another year with Mike Leigh!

It’s A Man-Manville World: Actors Acting – Lesley Manville

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Another helps to close out a great Year in films in NY/LA only on December 29th and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Happy-Go-Lucky
Lucky Charms
Trailers & Mo

When a Mike Leigh film is released, without question, you should go and see it. The man is incapable of bad filmmaking, and if you’ve seen anything he’s made, we’re sure you’ll agree. If the titles Naked, Vera Drake, All or Nothing, Meantime, Topsy-Turvy or Secrets & Lies don’t sound familiar, then you need to familiarize yo-self with them pronto tonto! They all are rich works that explore the banality of everyday (British working class) life, rife with both heartwarming and heartbreaking moments that are so genuine you’ll have a hard time ever forgetting them. The same is mos definitely true with his latest, Happy-Go-Lucky, although it’s more on the heartwarming than breaking side. Leigh knows how to assemble a top notch ensemble cast (he’s like a British Altman or Woody Allen), and has the magic touch to bring out especially amazing performances from his leading ladies. He’s put brilliant, yet relatively little known (at least stateside) veteran actresses Imelda Staunton, Brenda Blethyn and Marianne Jean-Baptiste on the map, by guiding them all to their first (and in some cases, maybe last) Best Acting Oscar nomination. It will probably happen a 4th time with Sally Hawkins (a Leigh regular player, and last seen as Colin Farrell’s neurotic lady in Woody’s Cassandra’s Dream), the happy-go-lucky title gal, who has been rightly buzzed about as one of the five possible females gunnin for the top spot at the 2009 Academy Awards. Her performance as the appropriately nick-named Poppy is a pure revelation, even more so than what Anne Hathaway done did in Rachel Getting Married (it’s common knowledge that Hath’s a great actress, but we guess she needed to stop being cast as a princess for everyone to realize it). Nothing can drag the lovely Poppy down, eggcept when she sees bad things happening to the students she teaches (the more tender bits of the film). When her bike gets stolen, she treats the news with a shrug and then carries on with her footloose and fancy free day. Ms Sunshine has run-ins with negative Nancies all over town (including her beyond no-nonsense driving instructor Eddie Marsan, another uber-brills Leigh regular) and she tries her best to raise a smile outta them all. While it doesn’t work 100% with the grumpy Guses onscreen, it will with everyone off-screen. A splendid time is guaranteed for all, and tonight, Mr Kite won’t be topping the bill

Happy-Go Hunting: czech out Leigh’s extensive shooting locations tour that he gave Time Out London. we will, as soon as we complete our life’s goal of visiting the Clockwork Orange locales

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Body of Lies
Body Ardor
Trailers & Mo

The fictional modern warfare flicks they be puttin in theaters these days that star terrorism as public enemy #1 have been more dud-ly than Dudley Do-Right doing lots of wrong. We’d almos rather be sent to Guantanamo than sit thru Traitor, Rendition, War, Inc. or You Don’t Mess With The Zohan again. And that’s what makes Body of Lies a lot more enjoyable than it actually is. It’s nuttin but a generic espionage thriller that’s elevated to popcorn pleaser-land by Ridley Scott’s usual solid direction (it’s no 1984 Apple commercial, but hey what is?), Leo DiCaprio‘s dedication to his role (he speaks Arabic! yet wanders around the Middle East undercover wearing a baseball cap in land where no one wears baseball caps!), and a heckulva lot of explosions across the globe (although Bret and Jemaine are the true Boom Kings). Russell Crowe‘s the other marquee name, but he doesn’t really add much tat all, considering he’s mostly phoning in his performance. And we don’t juss mean that figuratively, since he’s the pencil pushing CIA guy back in the states calling the shots via his blue-toothed cellphone. His lack of presence is made up by admirable supporting work by Mark Strong (also crazy good in RocknRolla), Simon McBurney (‘that guy’ with ‘that voice’ whom we love oh so much) and Leo’s Muslim Florence Nightingale, Golshifteh Farahani. Yesh, there’s a lil Old/New
world romance between Leo and a nurse, and while it may feel out of place with the rest of what’s going on, it makes a nice diversion to the diversion that we’re already watching. The film reminded us a lot of the Robert Redford-Brad Pitt burner Spy Game, which was not so oddly enuff directed by Ridley’s brother Tony. Come to sphinx of it, this fluffy-nutter movie may have been better off in his brother’s hands. Probably would been a bit mo flashy and fun, like Man On Fire and Domino. Come to sphinx of it part II, we kinda heart Tony more than we do Ridley, and that aint no lies, cause we have a Body of THIGHS!

AKA-47: although named after the book of the same name by David Ignatius, there were some other working titles for the film, including Penetration. wonder why they didn’t run with that one? and what, Going Under Covers wasn’t ever an option?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Go-Lucky opens in limited release today, while Lies and The Duchess expands to play at a theater new jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Vera Drake

Abortions R Us

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Director Mike Leigh is the master of the depressing British lower class movie genre. He also happens to be one of the most under appreciated directors out there. He also looks like an owl. An like an owl, he gives a hoot about things. Things like said lower class families and their struggles, which isn’t eggzactly a recipe for Hollywood success, but den again that’s what makes him an umcredible filmmaker, unlike say, McG. And If you need to play Mike Leigh catchup, Netflix Meantime, Naked, or my personal fav, All or Nothing. And whenever his next film comes out, you can easily add Vera Drake to that list as well. That’s right, Leigh strikes cinematic gold again. This is by far one of the finest dramas of the year. Here’s how the story goes: lil ole Vera (I smell Oscar nom for you Imelda Staunton!) is the perfect mum, wife, and daughter. She’s always quick to the kettle to fix u a spot of tea or give u a lil nibble before dinner starts, and all with the widest smile. So you call that a story? Juss wait, cause we qwikly learn that Vera, out of the pure kindness of her heart, helps out young poor girls who can’t afford proper abortions. Not any back-alley stizz like Beck’s performance at Coachella mind you, but not eggzactly legal in post WWII England kind either. No one in her family knows she does such a thing and why do they need to know? Unless they’re on a need to know basis. Anywhozitz, days go by, abortions happen, and more cups of tea are poured. Then one day, something goes awry and one of her ‘patients’ almost dies after the deed. The police come a knockn’ and Vera and her close knit family’s world comes crumbling down. That’s all I’ll say, besides get yer a$$ to the theater and see this now! Bravo Mike Leigh.

Recommended for those who like: women’s right to choose, massive amounts of tea, or choosing the perfect first date movie that won’t begat a second date (like what happened when my comrade Soul Jonkin took some chick on a 1st date to see Kevin Bacon get evil on lil kids’ backsides in Sleepers).

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix In The Name of the Father.

Finding Neverland

Hooked On Peter Pansies

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I was a bit skeptical of where things were going as soon as I saw Johnny Depp dancing with a dog to merely entertain Kate Winslet’s four precocious lil British tykes, but as the movie marched on, the magic of JM Barrie’s imagination was enuff to bring me to tears by the end. Sure there’s nothing Oscar nom worthy here, and Marc Foster’s direction was a bit uneven (coming from the guy who gave us Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton ODB dirty raw-style boning in Monsters Ball), and yeah it was a bit on the cheezy-whiz side, but there’s enuff here to appeal to those of all ages looking for an escape from our daily lives, juss like the story of… Peter Pan! And if yer jonesing for even mo Johnny Depp and Freddie Highmore (the kid who played Peter, JM’s muse) action, u juss wait, cause they play Willy Wonka and Charlie Bucket in the Tim Burton remake coming out next year.

Recommended for those who like: men who play with children in a non-sexual way, seeing Gareth Keenan in a movie, or to live out their Diane from Trainspotting dressing in green tights fantasies.

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Mike Leigh’s whimsical Topsy-Turvy. But whatever you do, don’t Netflix Hook.

Good Bye Lenin!

Hello Great Rental!

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The premise is frocking frantastic: a highly proud socialist single mother raises her two kids in the hell that is ’80s East Germany. Right before the Berlin wall is about to crumble, the mother has a heart attack and slips into a coma. The doctors warn that another attack could finish her off for good, so when she awakes from the coma, she should be as stress free as possible. Her ever loving son makes it his mission to see that this doesn’t happen by pretending that the wall never fell at all. He goes to great lengths, despite being surrounded in a newly capitalistic East Germany filled with Coca-Cola and other delights we consume daily. For example, when he discovers that his mumsy’s favorite pickles are no longer sold in their area, he buys a different brand and places the gerks in an old bottle of mom’s preferred brand. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. With crisp direction by Wolfgang Becker and super-delicious set design by some other German, this is a lil gem that’s purrrfect for yer home viewing pleasure. I also wanna note that Daniel Brühl, who played the son, is my new mos favortiestest male German actor (PEACE THE FORK OUT Moritz Bleibtreu)… it also doesn’t hurt that he looks like my pal Dickey Greenleaf the II and has an umlaut in his name. Best of luck kid, or should I say, mein herr.

Recommended for those who like: German Burger Kings, Kubrick references, or pickles.

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Run Lola Run.

The Shaft

They say this elevator Shaft is a bad mother

SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Sadly, No Trailer Available

I was introduced to our next film to the tune of “one of the best worst movies ever“. And boy was that preface bona fide and boner staboneafied! I think I’m also the 14th person to ever see this movie, not including cast and crew. And lemme tell YOU some-tang, the cast is second to none, (with all due respect to Murder By Death). Here’s a horribly written rundown of who and what: AWOL military man Michael Ironside (!) and elevator repair shop owner Ron Perlman (!) team up to install a top secret microchip with a brain, which had previously been tested on dolphins (?), into an elevator shaft of the Millennium Building (think Empire State Building), which in turn turns the elevator in to a one man Otis killing and torture machine. So James Hurley from Twin Peaks and some actor named Eric Thal, who coincendentally works for The Beast Perlman, are called in to fix the elevator from all this crazy Elevator Action by Edward Herrmann (Max, the head vampire/proprietor of Max’ Video in The Lost Boys),

who’s under a lot of heat by Lt. McBain, played by Nick Tortelli/Dan Hedaya, and all of this catches the eyes and ears of hot shot reporter Naomi Watts Hotts. Confused? Great. I won’t reveal anything more, CAUSE YOU SHOULD GO AND NETFLIX THIS ASAP & WARREN SAPP! Did I mention that this film marks uber-licious/fellow Marylander/ex-ESPNer Melissa Stark Nakkidness’ debut and still only appearance on the silver screen? What a waste. Had I made Mulholland Dr, it would have been Watts on top of Stark… nekkid (i promise, that’s the last stark nekkid joke… of the day)

Recommended for those who like: to see Dick Maas remake his own 1983 movie called De Lift, horrible acting, or Mother Brain from Metroid.

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix my personal favorite breastestist wurstestist movies Zardoz or Leonard Part 6 (not available on DVD. BOOOOOO!).

Young Adam

NC-YaLater-17

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Dying to see a movie about boring people who live on a sail barge that aren’t named Jabba? Or how bout seeing Ewan McGregor’s penis, AGAIN? Or Tilda Swinton in her birthday suit (look, I love her as an actress, but not as a sex kitten?)? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz times microwaved tunafish divided by 7. Although I did quite enjoy watching the scene where young Obi Wan gets miffed, takes off Emily Mortimer Hottiermer‘s clothes, pours ketchup and custard on her body, and then has his way with her.

Recommended for those who like: boring, being bored, or emery boards.

Unsatisfied with this? Before you slit yer eyes out, watch this instead.