Thighs Wide Shut

haves yous beens keeping up with The Tudors, and their franztastic third season? probably not, cause you either don’t have Showtime (understandable), hate history (what, are you more into math shows like Numb3r5?), loathe watching nekkid women be nekkid (which makes no sense since everyone loves nekkid chicks, including gay dudes and straight chicks and even eunuchs!), or perhaps you juss can’t deal with the high turnover on characters, since most of em end up headless, thanks to Henry The VIII (we feel you, even though we’re not physically feeling you, although we’d love to physically feel the dearly departed Anne Boleyn [NSFW])

well, poop on you if haven’t been keeping up, cause The Tudors be like watching a yumcredible movie that keeps unspooling delights week after week (did we mention the nekkid chicks?). one of the major reasons why this season has continued to rock the yum is the usage of the King’s first and mostly forgotten daughter Mary, who is now a bit more growns up. having her as a familiar face in the kingdom’s court/show is almos more bestness than the nekkid chicks being nekkid [NSFW], even though she keeps her robes on! and why? cause she’s played to innocent perfection by Sarah Bolger, whom you may remember as the eldest daughter from the mos eggsalad tearjerker In America, which costarred her sister Emma. good to know that Bolger’s the real deal and will probably have a solid career in the decades to come. she’ll next be seen in Roy Scheider‘s final movie, Iron Cross, as well as in our dreams, with the Tudors main theme song [d] playing in the background. look, we know she’s no Ashlynn Brooke [NSFW], but she’s mos def a cutie pie mcgee, in that Irish/Scottish/Welsh/British/United Kingdom we don’t get sunlight kinda way. to sum it up, The Tudors totally rox it, so does Sarah Bolger, and if she’s ever having lunch, we’d love to be her ploughman

Travis
Webster Hall
April 25th

Yes, we are one of those very few who are still keeping the Travis flame alive. Yes, that same Travis band you gave up on ages ago cause they didn’t turn out to be huge as Coldplay even though they should have been and also cause they’re munch better than Coldplay and Coldplay knows it. Travis has consistently been releasing quality music ever since their second album, The Man Who, dropped in ’99, and they is alsos perhaps one of the finest cover bands going, tackling such ditties along the way as ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’, ‘Here Comes The Son’ & ‘I Kissed The Girl’. Their original songs are stadium anthems, yet they never get to play them in stadiums… well, at least in American they don’t get to. Over the years wees taking them for granted and for granite. Every time they set their tour dates we semi-reluctantly get tickets, but after seeing them we’re always glowing with mad love for the Scottish foursome like it was the very first time (the last first time was last year’s Irving Platz show). This past Saturday’s show, in support of their new disc Ode To J Smith, was no different, and the only new revelation we have to report is how much lead singer Fran Healey looks like a cooler version of Breaking Bad‘s Aaron Paul

Thighs Wide Fact: our term ‘Peace The Fork Out’ is an homage to a Travis song with a similar name. the first time we used it was back in the ’04

Moby
Issue Project Room
April 24th

Like with Travis, we haven’t given up on Moby either, even though the last time we saw him perform live was back in the ’05. This show was billed as his first ever ‘seated electronic/ambient show’, yet we didn’t get there early enuff to snag a seat, so for moist of the time we stood uncomfortably as Moby twiddled knobs and played on his iMac, while random fartsy artsy images were projected all around. It was strange and weird and odd and sometimes boring, kinda like watching any piece of video art found at the Whitney’s Biennial, but lessthenone it was well interesting and well worth the $15 paid for this special benefit show for the Issue Project Room. He played some stuff we knew, like ‘God Moving Over the Face of the Waters’, which is one of the mos beautiful pieces of music we’ve ever heard, even if it was used in the final scene of the not so beautiful Michael Mann flick Heat, and a bunch of other stuff we weren’t so familiar with. The crowd didn’t know what to do, but sit and watch baldy twiddle dem knobs. It was only until he closed his set with the Twin Peaks infused ‘Go’ that them peeps stood up and clapped like mad. We love clapping and think people don’t do enuff of it at concerts, and we’re not talking about applause when the song is over, but clapping while the song is goings on, like keeping the beat and the like. Whatevsers, that’s a bigger issue that we’ll tackle some other time, like when we’re kings of the world and leon. We’re lookin fwd to his next album (hispecially since his last one Last Night was so fantaboulous, and yet no one cared) and a return to real touring with a band and shiz

other notes of news: before Moby we dined at Buttermilk Channel. while their fried chicken and waffles were more faancy than they were hammazin’, we totally dug their homemade pickles, sweet potato & goat cheese croquettes and maple & bacon roasted almonds (we heard they prevent the swine flu!)

Flight of the Conchords
+ Kristen Schaal
Radio City Music Hall
April 14th

After all is done and said, season 2 of Flight of the Conchords has to be seen as a major let down, his&herspecially since season 1 was the knee’s bees and francis scott keys to tulsa. The comedy bits we’re moist certainly notch top, but a majority of the songs were more forgettable than this guy’s cover of ‘Unforgettable’. But cha know what, maybe we gunned the jump too soon on them songs. Our eggspectations on season 2 were more high than Cypress Hill smoking banana peels on the Troodos Mountains of Cyprus, and of course it waz gonna be mission impossible for America’s mos flavorite Kiwis to deliver on them eggspectations. Season 1 covered a decade’s worth of beyond solid and thunderdome song craftsmanship, and come to think of it, Bret & Jemaine hactually did an admirable job piecing together another batch of tunes in less than a year and a half for season 2

Why this sudden change of heart? Wellsz, if you heard theirs newish songs live that you probably didn’t really care for that much when ya heard them the first time on the TVs ( ‘Demon Woman‘, ‘We’re Both In Love With a Sexy Lady‘ and ‘Hurt Feelings‘) and then found yoselfves rocking out hard and larffing out even harder to em at a concert juss as much as yous did to their olden songs then you’d probably change yer tune about thems tunes too! Time will ultimately be kind to these new songs (it already has to such insta classics as ‘Carol Brown‘, ‘Sugalumps‘ and ‘Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor‘), but in the meantime, we’re going to be kind and rewind and rewatch season 2 all over again, w/o the preconceived notions and potions, and break out the lotion for pure enjoyment!

And oh yeah, Kristen ‘Mel’ Schaal opened the show (thankfully w/o her usual partner Kurt Braunohler) and she shined on more than the crazy diamond that is Dustin Diamond. Translation = she’s thighlarious to the bone, and that’s quite an honor coming from us since we don’t find many ladies all that humorous besides our mother, Carol Kane, Anna Faris and Georgia O’Keeffe (those vagina paintings are too fun-E Georgia!)

previously: Flight Night of A Thousand Laffs

bestest movie mt EVERest and mt sinai?

no, BREASTest movie mt EVERest and mt sinai and mt st mary’s

we’re going to invent usselfves a time machine so we can get our son siring on with Anne Baxter, even if that firstborn son will be killed by Moseses’ Gawd

we still miss you Chuck!

The 15 Commandments

‘Awesome Gawd‘