Thighs Wide Shut

Exhibit B: Maria Sharapova’s Crotch

The Local Hoops Spectacular Atlantic 11 Poll, our other passion outside of TWS.org and The Christ

Keeley Hazel in Russia’s Maxim [NSFW]

SidelineHotties.com

I ♥ Christopher Walken

TONY‘s 50 Essential secrets

Hema’s products are quite moving [Länkarkiv]

The GoldenFiddle Tee

Россия как она есть!?

Onde tem um Fusca, sempre tem outro [Knuttz]

we can’t stop looking at boobs and calendars with boobs [NSFW]

Vietnam Duck Hunt

[Taranoff]

we’re off to the land of topless tapas bars
for some long overdue topless tapasnessness
see you sometime next weak kiddies!

boobs and water [NSFW] have gotz to be the greatestits combo known to man, but the deadly duo of religious rites and team mascots is mos certainly givin’ em sloppy jalopies a run for their money

we still have no clue if the UK’s trashy soapy soap trash opera Hollyoaks makes for good TV or not (it airs here on BBC America), but we is certainly not questioning the JOability of the show’s bitties

[the rest of the 2008 BABES calendar be here
although we is partial/Marshall to their 2007 edish!]

and this is for you lizadies out there

[the rest of the 2008 HUNKS calendar here]

2) I sphinx the Pats are damn good, but also damn lucky. Lucky in a sense that the rest of the NFL teams, besides the Colts and the Cowboys, are beyond awful. They’re going to lose at least one game this year, and it’s gonna be at the hands of one of their lesser divisional foes. I know that sounds more chris than luda, but I totally have an itch about the their next game after the bye in Buffalo. Lee Evans and Marshawn Lynch cannot be stopped right now

3) I sphinx that the rookie season of Heroes, which we juss finished watching on DVD, may be one of the mos solidesistest 23-episodeded debuts of a show mt EVERest. How about for a 12-episodeded beginner? Dexter. 8 eps? Twin Peaks. 6? The (UK) Office

4) I sphinx that if I were homeless, I’d totally scrape together $10 for the round-trip fare from Poo Authority to the Ghettolands on any given Sunday. Why? Think of all the leftover tailgating foods and beverages that go to waste once the game starts: ribs, burgers, dogs, donuts, chips, beer, you name it, and it’s all free! Had I known how much of a poopfest the Skins-Jets game was going to be, I may have juss stayed in the parking lot and eaten like a king… Peter King that is! Dude is more mammoth than many a woolly!

5) I sphinx Ben & Jerry can do no better than their Cinnamon Buns flavor. Caramel Ice Cream with Cinnamon Bun Dough & a Caramel Streusel Swirl aint no wet dream, it’s actually a frozen one!

7) I sphinx the UK’s Retro Gamer mag is the coolest read since Ramona Quimby, Age 8

8) I sphinx über-adorable Jayma Mays needs some mo love in Hollywood. She’s been on our radar since the ‘005, when she replaced Lohag as our redhead of choice (although the one down in the pic below is now top of the pops)

9) I sphinx the are two things one should not go a day without looking at: NSFW boobs and mustaches of the 19th century

10) I sphinx Halloween has replaced St Patty’s day as the bestest drinking holiday. Costumes + beer = bestumes!!!

Ten Things I Think I Think I Think Without A ThinkPad

Dan In Real Life
Awful Title, Awful Poster, Awfully Good
Trailer & Mo

Lets get something clear right off the bat that doesn’t really need clearing up right or left off the bat: Dane Cook cannot act (unless memorizing lines counts as acting) , Juliette Binoche needs to be in more Hollywood movies (see Bee Season), and Steve Carell will succeed where Jim Carrey has somehow failed, by winning over audiences in both comedic and dramatic roles (Eternal Sunshine was amazin, but I wouldn’t call it a hit with audiences). These are obvious truths that are made even more blatantly obvious when you see Peter Hedges’ most enjoyable follow-up to his franztastic Pieces of April. Like with April, Hedges constructs a family unit that any one of us can identify with, cept this go around, the mood isn’t as dire. This dramedy could have easily turned into a cheese-fest ’87, but somehow it strikes the perfect balance between cute and cloying. DiRL is actually more akin to The Family Stone than April, but spankfully there’s no horseface in sight. And like The Family Stone, DiRL will totally be the mos rewatchable flick whenever it hits premium cable, foREALs! And for those of you playing at home, Borat has juss displaced The Devil Wears Parda as the mos rewatchable flick on that channel that used to have amazing shows and now has Tell Me You Bore Me To Death With Old People Forkin

French Kisses On All Your Pink Parts: gawd bless you Juliette, and all the NSFW roles you take on

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…