The Dictator
Autocratic For The People
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 83 min

We’re Sacha Baron Cohen fan #1, or somewhere close to it.  (Along with Ricky Gervais,) we believe Sacha to be one of the funniest people alive.  If you’ve delved into Da Ali G Show, cackled endlessly via Borat, or squirmed thru Brüno, you have to agree.  If you don’t, you don’t know what funny is.  Truly, you don’t.  Those films and da-t TV show were masterpieces of the highest kind because they were mainly unscripted moments that oozed hilarity with almost too much ease

So what happens when SBC goes all scripted (with help from three Curb & Seinfeld writers + Larry Charles back on board as SBC’s director)?  Not nearly as genius (how could it be!!), but anything not nearly as genius as the most genius of genius is pretty f#%king good, no?  Yep, The Dictator is pretty f#%king good.  It’s scripted Borat by way of Gaddafi’s Wikipedia page

Do you want to know the story?  You don’t need to, but it’s like You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, but actually funny, cause this isn’t an Adam Sandler movie, it’s a Sacha Baron Cohen movie.  This is what the world needs more of, but can SBC keep it up?  We’d love to see him try, cause his tries make everyone else’s comedic tries look like stick on a crap.  It’s true, cause most comedies are awful and have something to do with Judd Apatow

The supporting trio of Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley and Jason Mantzoukas do some very solid work, playing mostly straight (wo)men to the Supreme Leader, but the supporting doesn’t end with them.  This flick’s overloaded with comic talent, so much so, that some of dem folks don’t even get anything funny to do.  Normal boring roles here aren’t played by normal boring actors, but by the likes of Chris Parnell, Chris Elliott, Fred Melamed, JB Smoove, and Nasim Pedrad, to name a few.  But at the end of the day, it’s all about SBC, as it should be

moral of the story – do you like Sacha Baron Cohen?  good, go see The Dictator.  it’s not like Scott Rudin produces comedies every day!!!

She’s No Leo: spank gawd for that!!

Dominique DiCaprio!!!

Verdictgo: very high end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Dictator dictates laughter at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Joss Whedon Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon Joss Whedon

and now that that’s outta the way…

The Avengers
Mostly Justice League
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 143 min

Lord Whedon’s Avengers is 2/3rds snoozefest and 1/3rd awakefest.  Luckily the end is the awakefest, but unfortunately it takes 9999ever to get there.  The snoozefest snoozes and loses cause they finally put all these Marvel money making heroes into one place at one time, but then they stay in that one place (some stoopid floating aircraft carrier) for what seems like an eternity… of nothingness.   Literally, nothing happens, unless you count more bad acting by Samuel L Jackson in a blockbuster movie (he seems to do better with real drama than fanboy drama.  see Mace Windex for another bad example)

Then the bad guy (Thor’s gay adopted brother), who’s more lame than bad goes to NY and the Avengers unite even more and like battle like mad like everywhere in like New York.  There’s no drama or anything really at stake, but we do get to see the super hero equivalent of Rampage, and if you’ve played Rampage, you know there’s nothing to it but smashing things, and so while that’s kinda cool to watch, it doesn’t eggzactly make for a super memorable super hero movie.  But someone else is and makes a smash – Hulk!  Finally!  At least in a CGI sense, cause the Ang Lee Hulk was awesome, and if you don’t agree then go watch HBO’s Girls.  But seriouslies, Mark Ruffalo makes an eggsalad Bruce Banner, and his Hulk is f$%king awesome.  Looking more forward to a Ruffaloed Hulk flick than wees is to a 2nd Avengers

You sorta did it Whedon.  not really

Verdictgo: low low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Cabin In The Woods
Pull The Strings
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 95 min

To talk plot points is to give away the fun, and sorta like The Avengers, the real real fun of the Lord Whedon written Cabin In The Woods only exists in the last third, which makes Whedon a wizard at third acts, but he needs to get his act together for the other two acts.  Even though The Avengers and Cabin have about as much in common as we and a vegetarian restaurant do, wees gotta say we enjoyeded Cabin more than we did The Avengers. The Avengers had to deliver the goods, and it kinda sorta doesn’t, and Cabin doesn’t need to deliver anything,  but it delivers nightmares that won’t give you nightmares, unless you fear unicorns.   What are we even talking about?  Dunno, but Kristen Connolly is wicked adorables!!!!

Verdictgo: high end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Avengers and Cabin are growing Whedons at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

for your consideration…

+ 3 more

American Reunion
Help End American Pie Unemployment
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 113 min

You either want to see a movie reunion of the American Pie cast or you don’t.  If you do, you’ll be rewarded with pretty much exactly what you expected + with probably more laffs than you expected to laffs (more funnier than Hangover II).  If you don’t want to see it, then you are un-American Pie.  We pity these actors, because they are good actors and they don’t work all that often.  We also pity Tara Reid.  Poor girl [NSFW]. These people need money, and we should give them our money because we love these people.  Plus Stifler is genuinely a great movie character, 9999 zillions times more so than Mr Chow or any role Ken Jeong plays could ever is be.  9reals.  Seriously, 11reals

Cobrin Bursome & Then Some: we wants us a piece of …

Ali Cobrin

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

American Reunsion is what it is SO DEAL WITH IT, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Three Stooges
Funskull Numbskullery
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 92 min

Making a Three Stooges movie is a recipe for movie disaster, cause Moe, Larry & Curry are Moe, Larry & Curly, and no one else is.  Even when Curly Howard got a stroke and they replaced him with original member Shemp (and later those other stooge yahoos), it was never the same or as good.  So imagine if you have none of those people, but other people playing those people???  Never saw that 2000 TV biography movie with the Shield/Commish, but that trio don’ts really sound like Moe, Larry & Curly, which is kinda a dealbreaker, no?

Well, the recipe for movie disaster has been averted!!!  HOW??!?!?!?  Bobby & Peter Farrelly are a perfectly suited duo to deal with dumb movies, cause any movie about the Stooges has to be dumb.  AND they had the smarts to put non-marquee names in the GIIIIIIIIIANT shoes that had to be filled.  AND Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe, Sean Hayes as Larry and Will Sasso as Curly totally almost really make you believe that they are sorta exactly maybe Moe, Larry and Curly!!!!  While the film is certainly not a non-stop laugh riot act, it is mos certainly enjoyable from start to finish, cause it’s got the dumb dumbed up, the impersonations down pat, and all around juss captures the exact spirit any Three Stooges fan would expect from a Three Stooges movie

Plot?  Who cares!  It’s got nyuks and head slaps and hammer bonkings, and misadventures and misteradventure, and throws in Jane Lynch, Sofía Vergara, Larry David, Craig Bierko, The Jersey Shorers, a gaggle of adorable moppets + Kate Upton‘s body for good measure(ments).  We left out Jennifer Hudson from that list cause she’s got the same level of acting talent as the cast of Troll 2.  Hactually, that’s not even fair to the cast of Troll 2, cause they’re more deserving of an Oscar than her and her singing voice is ever be.  Please, everyone, stop buying her albums and maybe she’ll go away.  Seriously, she must be stopped

moral of the story – they made a Three Stooges movie that is not horrible, kinda mostly funny, and moist importanly, with its heart in the exact right place it needed to be in, which is good enuff for we, and which should be good enuff for you!

CC her!: we should probably post a pic of Katie Ups in that nun-kini, but instead we want to thighlight cutie Carly Craig

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Stooges is Three of a kind at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…