Guillermo del Bore-o

Don’t Be Afraid of The Dark 
Boo?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 99 min

Don’t worry about being Afraid of The Dark in Guillermo del Toro‘s remake of the TV movie from 1973 [watch this clip] cause you won’t be, not for one dang second.  GdT didn’t direct this new version (Troy Nixey did), but his imprint is all over it – read: not scary and contains cheesy CGI creatures who wreak havoc on our protagonists, and our eyes, as they roll over and over.  What’s the point of a scary movie if it isn’t scary?  And what’s the point of having Katie Holmes and look-a-like tyke Bailee Madison be in the same movie if they aren’t mother and daughter (she’s Guy Pearce‘s kid)?

Book A Like: all movies can’t be as smart as director Forest Whitaker’s(!!!!) First Daughter (from a story by Jerry O’Connell!!!!!), which cast Margaret Colin as the mother of bitched at swirther Holmes slice

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinking Badges 

Afraid you won’t be at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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