Wear To Begin?

i get good VIBES looking at this work of art

– This just in… my pants!!! Wooah! Look at the Brandy candy on the latest cover of Vibe!! If I was as rich or ard as Richard Branson, I would rent her out by the hour to be my ottoman to compliment my wicked La-Z-Boy!! Kobe, you took this delicious looking ottoman to your prom! And where are you now? Yer team blows and you love getting blown in hotels by dumb white chicks. But don’t worry Gabrielle Union, I really want you to be both my ottoman and my wife.

– Is MC Hawking the best dumbest thing since that “Ebonics” Delta Airlines commercial? See for youself. And the sad part is that you can actually buy a cd of that crapple. [Links via Shady Acreson]

– Just what the good doctor ordered, chest hair insurance.

– Mad good concert buzz is abound over at ProductShizzleNYC. How does a crazy/beautiful rock fest featuring Iggy & the Stooges, NY Dolls, Hives, Raveonettes, and more at Randall’s Island in August sound? Pretty f-in mint, like a box of Girl Scouts’ Thin Mints! And it doesn’t stop there folks… Los Beastie Boys are heading to all 5 boroughs to promote To the 5 Boroughs, on June 23rd. William S. Burroughs could not be reached for comment as he is dead. And speaking of the Beasties, they made an appearance on some MTV special Tuesday night and the whole time Jim Shearer kept trying to hug all three of them. MCA dissed him and held out his fist instead.

– Don’t shit where you eat Seacrest. Cowell made you and he can just as easily send you back to yer busboy job at I.H.O.P.

sometimes it's good to be a man

– Here’s something that has nothing to do with anything. Although child birth is the most beautiful thing next to Natalie Portman taking a seat on the chair known as my face, this animated gif(t) is almost more frightening than when Kuato came out of that dude’s stomach in Total Recall. [Pic via my gal over at Giddy-Ups’ Bible]

– I couldn’t show you where Croatia is on a map, and I mos def have no idear who pop star Severina Vuckovic is, but here’s a NSFW link of her doing all sorts of things with a man. [Links vonce again via Shady Acreson]

– How do you make a boring movie about tennis co-starring Jon Favreau interesting? You make Kirsten Dunst wear a skirt and have her bounce around a lot. Check out the trailer here for Wimbledon. For an example of Dunst bouncing, please click me (F.U.B.A.R.ers need not apply, you’ve probably seen this 12382139801324 times.

– In 1983 all over again. Or maybe 1997. Duran Duran AND Prodigy will drop new albums in the near future!

– It’s a bit early to start thinking bout Valentine presents, but nothing sez love like these Adult Fragrance Oil scents: ‘Bump & Grind’, ‘Eat It Raw’, and the ever popular ‘Booty Call’.

And now for some Qwik Bitz from around the world…

Ben & Jerry's latest flavor: Ted Williams

– Ted Williams to remain a popsicle.

– A 19-year-old British lad offered up his virginity for bidding on eBay. I guess he gets rejected by a lot of woman. Well, eBay rejected his a$$ too!

– Only in Indiana could a 78-year-old woman shoot herself with a shotgun whilst trying to kill some squirrels.

– Liz-adies, yer eons of waiting are over! Please help us welcome the She-Pee urinal to be introduced at this year’s Glastonbury Festival!

– And to tie up all loose anuses, I can now safely say that I will never ever live in El Paso, Texas cause it was just named The Swamp-Ass Capital of the US.

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