Eyebrowse

– Stop the presseses: A fan mistakes Noel Gallagher for Damon Albarn. Eyebrow king not too pleased.

– The new, new Coke, C2 has 1/2 the carbs and 1/2 the calories, but also 1/2 the taste of Coke Klassic. Screw that, when are the suits finally going to re-release Mister Pibb’s wife, Mrs. Pibb?

– Double yer chance peeps, and sign-up for more free tickets to Hilary Duff’s latest stink-bag of a movie called, A Cinderella Story. This movie may love actually turn out to be a wurster movie than Sleepover. I guess I’ll just have to see them both before forming my opinion.

– We are only one wee month away from a new batch of Ali G episodes. He interviewed Sam Donaldson and asked him about Richard Nixon’s involvement with the Waterworld scandal. Genius times 9 x 999999999999999, times 10-10-10-10-10-10-10, 11-11-11…

– Did you’all listen to the Master o’ Thighs and go see Napoleon Dynamite yet? Last Wednesday it averaged $3,839 per screen. Next closest? Potter at $940 per screen. Good news for you rural losers is that it just opened in these additional theaters this past weekend: Toronto – Cumberland Four Theatre, Boston – Kendall Square Cinema, Washington, DC – Dupont Circle, Bethesda, MD – Bethesda Row Cinema, Evanston, IL – Century/Cine Arts Evanston, Chicago, IL – Century Centre Cinema, Pasadena, CA – Playhouse, San Jose, CA – Century 25, San Jose, CA – Camera 12, Palo Alto, CA – CineArts, Berkeley, CA – California, San Francisco, CA – Embarcadero Center Cinema… with many more to come this summer. Editor’s note: the studio doesn’t pay me to hawk this film, but they can if they want to. Vote for Pedro.

– Fatburger may headed eastward, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t head westard ho for this: French fry guys, Air, are Cali bound on Friday, September the 24th at the Bowl

in Santa Barbara and Sunday the 26th at the Hollywood Bowl, performing for the first time ever with a live orchestra. Tickets for the show and are on sale now. Other bands on the bill will be announced soon.

– And as for dearest Lohan, she’s been rather busy these days. I heard she bought some shoes, and even had something to eat! Isn’t she just the dreamiest? The double L came in at numero 97 on Forbes‘ Celebirty 100 List. Yer meaning to tells me that William Hung Lo Balls has more clout than her? [Scoop via Navi]. She also fell asleep on a beach and suffered first degree burns courstesy of her new stalker, the sun. Need somebody to rub aloe all over you? And did you know that she hates some of her best features that aren’t her fun bags, like her trademark freckles and flowing red hair? Baby, don’t talk crazy like that. Just remember, although I may be camping out to see A Cinderella Story, you’re still a much butter actress/singer/dancer than Hilary Muff will ever be. Kissesss!