Eating Her Curds and Whey

This is what every party in

American should look like:

the 'juice is loose

[Pic via Zach de la Roachclip]

– Paris and Nicky Hilton are media whores (and some say, straight-up whores) and now momma Kathy wants a piece of the action too. NBC and her are developing a reality show called The Hilton Project, which will take some proletarians and turn them into coke-blowing assholes. If you NYers are interested in trying out for the “show”, there’s an open casting call Saturday, June 12th

@ Tavern on the Green (Central Park West 67th) from 9AM – 5PM. Otherwise, apply online here.

Lindsay Lohan’s Breasts to Star in Own Sitcom? Who does this guy think he is? An ace reporter for the The Onion? Get real pal, cause the only place those thangs be starring in is my movie, Riders of Lohan. There’s this killer scene with her melons, my tongue, and a bottle of Magic Shell.

kiss kiss, BANG BANG!

– The chick who wrote all of t.A.T.u.’s greatest “hits” just won a copyright lawsuit for back royalties. She’s looking at a 500,000 rubles payday. Think of all Russian nesting dolls a girl can buy with that kinda cheddar. And despite a fall-out with King Perv/producer/dirty-ball Ivan Shapovalov and Yulia Volkova’s bun in the oven, the duo plan to hit the studios later this summer. Pseudo-lesbianism is still better than no lesbianism tat all!

– In news that is sure to only make me and my father happy: Pee Wee’s Playhouse is coming to DVD. Finally, I can relive all my sweet sweet memories of Miss Yvonne, The King of Cartoons, Chairry, and o’ course Jambi, the Genie.

– Wanna win a date with Supergrass’ drummer? Thought you would.

– The Wu-Tang Clan are doing a bit of a make-over. The theory is that the more blonde white kids theys gots in the group, the better the sales

this clan aint nuttin to f%$k with

[Pic 1nce again via Zach de la Roachclip]

– What’s the world’s best-kept secret? Cornhole. Me thinks Cincinnati has some serious identity issues. [Link via Posh & Becker]

– MTV is really scrapping the bottom of the barrel these days. Why else would they give Frankie Muniz, Lizzie Grubman, and Farnsworth Bentley their own shows? If they really wanted to be cutting edge, they should have roped in such high-class talent as Soleil Moon Frye, Fred AND Ben Savage, and Dustin Diamond and his stellar chess skills.

– Sarah’s so boring ever since she stopped drinking. And now the internet will be boring ever since she stopped blogging. Breast to you and yers Ultrahotttttttttie.

Baltimore is the new Paris

– Traveling to Seattle, Baltimore, or even Plano, Texas this summer? Then you may want to check out these following hotspots: The Hat n’ Boots Gas Station, The Cockroach Hall of Fame, and World’s Biggest Garbage Can. [Links via Flea’s ho-bag]

– And finally, only in American can a man get arrested for driving under the influence TWICE in the same day AND someone else gettin’ charged with assaulting a Taco Bell employee with a chalupa.

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