Going Home ForThe Holly Daze

– All dough my a$$ is Amtraking back to Merryland this weekend, I’ll still be able to blog like crazy since my rents have dat high-speed internet jonks. Also, I have to give you all a full report of my ye olde stomping grounds Rockville’s annual Hometown Holidays celebration, which in years past have included such washed-up acts as Kool & The Gang, Three Dog Night, and Martha Reeves & Vandellas. This year’s soiree features recent has-beens the Gin Blossoms AND Live!! I also plan to head to the rainbow/family friendly confines of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware (yes, the state does actually eggsist Joel Sonkin!!) for some infamous Nic-O-Bolis. Enuff about me and more about random crap.

– What’s the breast way to support our troops? Buy an Abu Ghraib tee! [Link via Zach de la Roachclip]

– After hearing hubby’s ode to baby Apple, “Nappies”, one too many times, looks like Gwenyie is all ready to get back to work. Next assignment: a Marlene Dietrich biopic

– Need to waste a few minutes? Play this Abba to Zappa music game. Or go here for some “eye catching” fun. [Link via Popbitch]

– Two things in the land of gross. #1 – Ever wanted to see Pink take a pee pee? Now you can! And jonesing to see a ton o’ man tits (that aren’t mine)? Now you can! [Links also via Popbitch. Peeps, sign up for their newsletter already!!]

– Larry Harmon is a bozo, not the creator of Bozo the Clown.

– One more reason to not live in Bangladesh: it took the post office almost three years to deliver a letter just 30 miles away. Gawd bless America and our broom stick in the ass politics.

– I love spam about enlarging my penis and lowering my mortgage rates, but I’d never join this Spam fan club.

– No questions asked, just click me and turn up the f-in volume. [Link via Posh & Becker]

– On the Lohangate front, daddy Michael took a break from beating his in-laws, but hasn’t yet paid back a loan he took out on their Long Island house to start a production company. They may end up losing the house, but I’m sure LL can buy them a new one. And speaking of Ms Hotness, word on the street is that Luscious Lohan and That’70s Show’s Wilmer Valderrama have been canoodling on both coasts. Is that ho-bag cheating on me again?? Well, LL claims that Wilmer is “just my friend”, which was backed up by his rep. Anywho, I’m starting to dig her new hair color. I’d bang her even if she was covered with spiders and microwaved tuna fish. [Link via my gal Vega$ and gossip via Flea’s ho-bag]