Around The World In 10 Seconds


Beware of whale on beach

– Time to enroll at Canada’s University of British Columbia. Why? Well, they may build new dorms overlooking a famed Vancouver nude beach. But I forgot, most people who go to nude beaches are fat bald dudes.

– Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, the worst hyphenated name since Nik Caner-Medley, is about to lose the Stamos in her name and her life. Her and fellow bad actor hubby John Stamos are calling it quits.

– Dead dude in Indonesia receives 800 votes in an election last week. Since GW Bush blows and J Kerry isn’t eggzactly Cpt Amazing, let’s all vote for James K. Polk. His name is hella cool and They Might Be Giants even wrote a song about em.

– From the “Please God, NO!” Department: Brintey Spears wants a reality show. Who doesn’t? Enuff with the pop stars already, here are some peeps I’d like to see get a reality show: Boutros Boutros Gali, Wilford Brimley, and NOT Wil Wheaton.



Show me your stuff girl
from the Show Me State!

– Miss Missouri was crowned Miss USA 2004 last nite. I guess I’ll have to give the Mrs, Miss Maryland, the olde heave-ho to make room for my new wife.

– Finally, young Obi Wan/Mark Renton, Ewan McGregor, is about to embark on his trans-world motorcycle trip. The adventure will be filmed and eventually be released as a documentary. Based on most of his previous films, I’m sure we’ll see his cock show up somewhere.

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