Tag Archives: Val Kilmer

Kilmer Me Softy With His Eyes

Palo Alto
Nepotism The Movie
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 98 min

palo alto

Apparently if you have the last name Coppola, it’s yer dog-given right to make a film.  And apparently if you’re the child of a movie actor/ess, it’s yer dog-given right to follow in their footsteps.  Man, it muss be tuff to give it the old Hollywood try when all the tries are being given to someone famous’ son or daughter or their cousin, twice removed.  (Too bad my parents were a lawyer and a teacher, although I didn’t follow in either of their footsteps.  Maybe my children will become Thigh Masters.  DO IT KIDS!!!)

Nepotism is on full display in Gia ‘grandaughter of Francis Ford’ Coppola‘s Palo Alto, starring Eric Roberts’ daughter and Val Kilmer & Joanne Whalley’s son (Val is in it to, but for maybe like 10 seconds).  The film is based off of James Franco’s book of short stories, and he gets a role in the film too.  Somehow his brother Dave Franco didn’t get nepotized into the cast.  (I did a quick check of the rest of the roster, but couldn’t find any more famous parental connections, outside of minor roles for Emma Gretzky and Bailey… Coppola)

OK, all that nepo-ness aside, the movie Palo Alto is still a movie and is somewhere between aunt Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere, and yet nowhere, and also Gus van Pretentious’ Paranoid Park, with a heavy dose all things Bret Easton Ellis.  So what I’m saying is Palo Alto is a moody piece of something, that’s really nothing.  Usually I loathe those kind of movies, and obviously I’m no giant fan of nepotism, AND YET, I still kinda really enjoyed Palo Alto


– there’s a faux recreation of Phoebe Cates’ Fast Times pool ascent scene, for no reason

Kenny Powers’ fatty nephew is in it

- Nat Wolff’s hair and attitude 

– the dumb high school talk

– it wasn’t awful like The Bling Ring was

– seeing what Chris Messina high and touchy-feely would look like

the score

- Father Guido Sarducci is in it (the actor, not the character), and he funny!

– it made me feel uneasy from start to finish, and I have no idea why, but movies should make you feel something, and this movie did

– and mainly cause I’m now in love with Val Kilmer & Joanne Whalley’s son Jack.  he’s almost hotter than both mom AND dad, and that’s basically impossible.  he looks like mini-Beck-River Phoenix.  I want to play with his hair.  I want to live on his face

jack kilmer

jack kilmer cu

jack kilmer 2


Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Palo is palling about in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

val kilmer ice

val joanne


Carry On My Wayward
Richard Dean Anderson

Forte Winks
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

MacGruber is Saturday Night Live‘s first skit turned big screen adventure released in over a decade, and it happens to be the funniest one since Wayne’s World.  Granite, we didn’t bother seeing any of the flicks that came between the two (ok, we saw Wayne’s World 2), but we’re gonna venture a logical guess that none of them were even remotely good or co-starred Powers Boothe or Val Kilmer.  MacGruber as a skit was overly repetitive and mildly amusing at best, but as a 90ish minute feature, it worked well enuff, even with the new, dirtier jokes getting recycled several times over.  And as an action movie, it wasn’t half bad neither!  Credit Will Forte and Kristen Wiig (and Ryan Phillippe?), who put a serious face on some not so serious bidness, and to SNL for not giving up on their characters, which have always been their bread and butter.  Here’s hoping that Lorenzo McIntosh gets his named called up to the big leagues/screens next

Our Forte: our mos flavorite Will Forte bit doesn’t hail from SNL, but from Flight of The Conchords, as an aspiring actor/dry cleaner and record producer Mr. Gucci

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

MacGruber is currently playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


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