Thighs Wide Shut

Cause for Messiah Joe Gibbs and Co tits either

or

Peace The
FORD THEATER
Out
2
THE HOBO
from
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

aka
Joseph ‘Blue’ Palasky
to you idjiots who probably think
the overly refarted Old School
is the 2nd cumming
of Alan Cumming
or Animal House

Inspired by the WaPo and sorta by the Bruno skit where one has to choose between giving Jack Black candy or cancer, I ice man giveth to you, what will be in the mix in ’06, besides Raymi

OUT	IN
Peter Jackson	Jack Peterson
Squeezable Mayo	Squeezable Relish
Dime Bags	Penny Loafers
Poo	Poop
Eli Manning	Taryn Manning
Beta Testing	Betamax
Mock Turtlenecks	Ookla the Mok
Big Bang Theory	Gang Bang Theory
SXSW	NXNW
Mark Cuban	Cubano Sandwiches
The Truffle Shuffle	The Ickey Shuffle
Steven Soderbergh	Sod
S&L	SNL
Blogs	The Troggs
Rachael Ray	Paula Deen
Neighborhoodies	Footies
Pink	Black
Cliff Engle	Cliff Notes
Gay Cowboys	Gay Redskins
Da Da Vinci Code	646 Area Code
TMs	BMs
Vagina	China
Books On Tape	Tape On Books
Prof McGonagall	Prof Plum
Rumors On The Internets	Rumors On The Brailles
Tomkat/Bennifer/Brangelina	Bosom
Dakota Fanning	Ariel Gade
Ghanaria	Hare Rama, Diorama
July	April
Arnold Palmers	Shirley Temples
Handrying	Receiving Bacon
Barnes & Noble	Borrowing From The Library
Cheryl Hines	Ciarán Hinds
LOL	El Al
Jesus	Arslan
Grey’s Anatomy	Gray’s Papaya
Andy Rooney	Ed Rooney
Hating Jews	Hating Jews
Pixar	Flip Books
Sio Bibble	Wearing Bibs
Nip Slips	Slit Nips
The OC	The REAL OC
Tapas Bars	Topless Bars
Sofia Lidskog	Kelly Miyahara
Saving Africa	Singing ‘Africa‘
Ben Stein	Palestine
The Walrus Was Paul	The Walrus Was Mike Holmgren
Brunch	Flunch
Regifting	Ree-Yees
Rusty Trombones	Rusty Kuntz
David Keith	Keith David
Recockulous	Retaintulous
Flizzm Jizzum	Russian Dressing
Oompa Loompas	Koopa Troopas
The Neverending Baseball Season	The Neverending Story II
Sufjan Stevens	‘Suffragette City‘
Microwaved Tunafish	Microwaved Gefilte Fish
Alba’s Ass	Alba’s Abs

Soooooo… you loves me long thyme and although I gots plenty o’ goodies for Chananukakkahshegahshgreh, I still wants mo! Buy me this stuff or make this stuff happen and maybe I’ll give you an HJ… not to be confused with the Hitler Youth

Adidas
Winter Knit Rib Track Top Jersey Jacket
Green/Light Green

Skins
XL Super Bowl Champs
w/Scrub-Arsed QB(s)

Stroopwafels
Galore!!

Pink Is The New Blog’s
’05 Press/Visitors/All Hailedness

Parker Bros
Tee avec Logo

t.A.T.u.
Lyudi Invalidy
aka Ruskie Version of THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR!

Lawrence of Arabia
To Play On The Big Screen
Cause I Refuse To See It Until Dat Happens

Cliff Engle Sweaters
Bears/’Hawks/Celts/Packers/Everyone Who Aint The Eagles/G-Men/C-Boys/Raiders

Vans Chukka Boot
Core Classics
Green (OOP)

Freezy Freakies
Gloves
For All My Freakies Fridays

Colin Firth/Mr Darcy’s
Hair & Clothes
from the REAL P & P

Gheorghe Muresan
Growth Poster
(formerly a Thighland possession)

and flub course…

World Peace

OF ASS!!!!

Twats sure to be le breastest movie (at least remake) of the ’06?

Camilla Belle vs Water: THE MOVIE

• Cuthbest to return to 24 this year? Only if you trust the werds of one Joanne Weintraub

• Peep the teaser trailer to Mel Gibson’s Mayan mess Apocalypto… 3 to 1 he somehow he blames the Jews for their extinction

• A year later and the good people of Roanoke, VA still aren’t sure if it was Borat who turned their rodeo into a almost stampede… guess dem Red States aren’t big subscribers of HBO

• Gorillaz up for MTV’s Cribs

• 18 zillion people sent me this link, so I guess I should post it: The Chappelle Theory

• Justin Case you missed it on yer internets rounds: He-Man/She-Ra: A Christmas Special

• So I guess I shouldn’t count on potato latkes in the Kingdom this year, eh luv the V?

• What do you plan to do with yer extra 2005 second? I can’t decide between patting myself on the back or patting my balls

• Rotten Tomatoes’ ’05 Bombs List… boviously House of Wax and Domino wouldn’ta been considered bombs had they taken in account the only reviews that matter: OURS!!

• The True Cadillac™ of Bicycles

• wayfaring.com

• Frynally, someone else’s boobies have replaced Tara Reid’s judge hatchet job as les nastiest bazongies in the world [double duhvs NSFWness]

• Lookin for a bigger effin miracle than the sorta special holiday of Chahhannuaakakkakkah? How bout dem Skins who are the NFC’s HOTTiest team, who juss avenged the live abortion I saw in late Rocktober, and who now be mere baby steps away from the pay-offs? So start hittin up Orbitz for early Feb flights to the D, fill yer thIghpod up wit the sweet reggae sounds of The Joe Gibbs Family in the back [via the Dollar], and wipe the dust of yer bumpers, cause I wanna see these babies everywhere!!!

Who do these peoples think they is?

• For once, the end of the NFL season is actually more about the Redskins, and less about my fantasy teams… that juss shat the bed. Oh, by the gay, lick my grundle COWBOYS, AGAIN!!!

• Trace Ayala reacts to ex-fiancee Cuthbest’s current NHL blogging and banging, ‘I love her to death, so whatever happens, happens. We’ve both got so much going on right now.‘ And by ‘going on’, he means masturbating, picking up J-T’s dry cleaning, and spending 6 hours a day anonymously making snarky comments on her blog

• em pee treses that have finally displaced ‘Awesome Gawd’ [d-lode] atop of my broken thIghpod: ‘California 2005’ by Phantom Planet [find it here] and The Gay Cowboy Theme Song from Brokeback Mt [d-lode], which is kinda bitched at swirth with the Princess Bride theme [d-lode] + this bonus fab Finbarr remix [find it here]

• Apparent lie, the White Stripes are the only people on earth allowed to use the color combo of black, white, and red. No word on if they lay claim on the ‘What’s black and white and read all over?‘ joke

• Tina Fey to do the umpossible: make Sacha Baron Cohen unfunny

• Wish I had a Bar Refaeli instead of a Bar Mitzvah

• Maria Sharapova’s Motorola M1000 sold for $7,500. After learning this, I cleaned up the kingdom a bit and sold some of her leftover pubes on eBay. Unfortch, I only gots a paltry 6 roubles

• Why spend 15 bones for the DVD of the vastly overrated Wedding Crashers [review] when you can spend 10 to see the DVD in a movie theater?!

• Primary Colors + Edtv + Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World = the American Dreamz trailer… read: most likely to be one giant poo on a stick

• Cheetos Lip Balm or this…

take your pick puke
[via The Made of Brawn-steeens]

• Things I learned by watching 60 Minutes: Mike Wallace is the most tanned Jew of all time

• Why didn’t someone get license to kill Jodie Lynn Tillen before filming began on License To Kill? I mean, you call this costume designing? NOBODY makes Robert Davi look like a fool and deserves to live!

• How do cats “know” to use litter boxes?… but still no answer as to how Cats stayed on Broadway for so long

• A poster of meat hottier than that 70s Farah Fawcett one

• Richard Branson wants to call you

• Animated Knots by Greg

• A Salute to Salute Your Shorts [via The Mask]

• City Rag Doll reminds us of a grrrrrrrrrreat site that she flazzled from us last year, so I’m flizzling it back this year: Scared of Santa photo gallery

• I dont know either [NSFW]

• Siskel & Ebert uncensored!!!!!!! [via Monkey Helper]

• And I have lil to no frigidaire idear who Alizeé Jacotey is, sides the fact that’s she’s some sorta singer, may actually be Joe Jacoby‘s niece, and hails from the Land of Fries (Thighland’s closet geographical ally), but spanks to Cpt Bees Nuts, I’ll be buttering her croissant and beatin the crap outta her until she can’t stand the au bon PAIN all up in the ’06!!