Ocean’s Thirteen Ocean’s Hook Line Is A Stinker Trailers & Mo
Having your characters sportfauxmustaches cannot disguise the fact that you’ve basically remade your first movie, cept your caper has no motivation, your execution has no rhyme or reason, your new casino had the same interior designer as Tao & the Hiro Ballroom, Don Cheadle’s cockney accent starts to outwurst Kevin Costner’s in Robin Hood, and in the process, you’ve allowed Al Pacino to hand in the weakestest and leastest menacing screen villain since The Penguin. So besides Ellen Barkin’s wicked cleave line, is there anything redeeming? Unless you JO to Clooney’s omniscient smirks, then the answer is a resounding NO
IMDb Sweeney: fakes mustaches may be all the rage, but Matt Damon rages against the machine (read: the film industry) by donning a faux shnozer in dishonor of not being allowed to sport one in Gilliam’s The Brothers Grimm [IMDb|Stufffzz]
28 Days Later… was a very special movie. Beyond sadly, its sequel is not. It’s not even remotely scary, unless you start thinking about what might have been instead of what has been. Gone from the first go around are the director, the screenwriter, the actors, the excitement, the danger and mos importantly, the fun. Basically the only redeeming aspects of this bigger budgeted sequel are the use of real film stock and the ability to shoot a lot more outdoor empty street scenes, in and around London (I bet the cast and crew loved shooting at dawn every day!). Them zombies aint scary, but vacant metropolises are. Too bad once the zombies take to the streets, you may not want to run from the theater, but to the nearest bed, where zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs await. I think they woulda been better off taking 28 more weeks to come up with a better sequel, cause this shiz is more like Weak, times 28
Netflex: the biggest hit from Bayside in a decade, 28 Days Slater
After catchin the amazingness of Spidey 2 ‘me was like, dang, #3 is going to be off the meat and coat rack!! If only it includes 3 hours of Kirsten Dunst’s rack‘. Well, even if #3 was a non stopDunstboob-a-thon, it still couldn’t save it from the mess that it is. I’ve seen my fair shair of messes at the local cinematorium, but none have been as enjoyable as this one was (Venom! James Franco’s love of snowboarding in air AND pie! Peter Parker is more emo than Pete Wentz! Bruce Campbell, with a mustache!)! I won’t even bother comparing/contrasting it to Spidey 1 or 3, but I will with some of the other big budget second sequels. While not even in the same league of LOTR: ROTK, Jedi, Last Crusade, and hell, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, it’s still miles above such beyond forgetabble schlock like Superman III, The Godfather III, Matrix III, Jaws 3-D, X-3, Rocky III, Batman Forever, Austin Powers in Goldmember, and any other round 3 flick where round 1 didn’t even deserve a round 2 in the first place! It’s too early to decide where Spidey 3 should be permanently placed in the second sequel hierarchy, but for the time being, lettuce but it above National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and one step behind Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Spidey may run the box office, but remember, it’s Master Blaster who runs…
And His Amazingly Hot A$$ Friends: it was the early 80s, I not only loved cartoons, but was actually in love with cartoons! Who else out there wouldnta boned Firestar? Probably you Gaylord Perry’s who sweated Iceman and wanted him to cometh all over you!
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): bless this mess with a Jeepers With A Peepers•!•
01. Jul, 2007 
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