Tag Archives: Kubrick

Ghanks Toodness,Its Friday!

15. Apr, 2004 0 Comments

These People Were Born (a gr8 day to be borne)

1867 – pilot, bike phanatic, pimp daddy, Wilbur “Orville” Wright

1889 – mustached film star, Charlie “C Diddy” Chaplin

1921 – recently deceased, Peter “Beef” Ustinov

1947 – Airplane! co-pilot, Kareem “Paula” Abdul-Jabbar

1962 – righteous Fugazi rocker and emo creator, Ian Mac”Daddy”Kaye

1965 – traffic stopping, gun totting, Black Knight, Martin “Sarah” Lawrence

1970 – Garyland grad and CBS Sports hotness, “My” Bonnie “Lies Over the Ocean” Bernstein

1971 – Peter “Ralphie” Billingsley

1976 – Andre 3000’s pal and Natalie Portman’s ex-flame? Lukas “Haagen” Haas



Oooh fuuudge!


And This Shit Happened

1917 – Vladmir Lenin returns from exile… on Main Street.

1926 – Lolly Willows by Sylvia Townsend Warner is sent out to readers as the first Book-of-the-Month Club selection ever. In the late 90s, Oprah formed her own book club and has basically told women what they should read ever since.

1943 – Dr. Albert Hofmann discovers the psychic effects of LSD. The next day he builds a time machine and goes into the future so he can see Kubey Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey in theaters.

1947 – On this very day, Bernard Baruch coins the term “Cold War”, then takes a cold shower, assassinates reknown scientist Dr. Pepper and thus begins the “Cola Wars.”

This could be the greatest website
ever devoted to fake Dr. Pepper

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Zombies, More PopularThan The Christ

22. Mar, 2004 0 Comments

1. Dawn of the Dead – $27.3 million – Horror movies are so unoriginal now that they have to rehash old ones. I expect this trend to continue, but the remakes will be of more current movies. Ready for the Gus Van Sant shot for shot remake of Cabin Fever? I’m done with this crap. We need a new genre with a similar name: Whore Movies.

2. The Passion of the Christ – $19.1 million – I’m already counting down the days for Mel’s Chanukah: the Festival of Lights flick. Now we can finally learn the origin of potato latkes!



3. Taking Lives – $11.4 million – More like taking people’s money or wasting it. Any movie with Olivier Martinez is not worth watching.

4. Starsky & Hutch – $10.6 million – If Kevin Smith is the Orson Welles of crap, then director Todd Phillips is Stanley Kubrick.

5. Secret Window $9.6 million – Just cause Stephen King wrote it, doesn’t mean it has to be turned into a film.

6. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – $8.56 million – Go see this movie. Go see this movie now. Go see this movie now and again. To be reviewed later today.

7. Hidalgo – $8.5 million – C. Thomas Howell’s triumphant return to the silver screen… for all of 2 minutes.

8. Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London – $6 million – How do you eggspect to fill seats if you don’t put Hillary Duff in the sequel?

9. 50 First Dates – $4.3 million – First 8 Crazy Nights, now this. What’s next, a Turk 182 remake?

10. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen – $1.5 million – LOTR: ROTK has been completely knocked off of the top ten by COATDQ. You go LL and abbrvs!!

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