When it comes to television, we dunno shit from shinola, but that aint gonna stop us from trying to finger out which of these new non-reality based shows will mos likely get axed before the end of the year. I bet this woulda been a heckuva lot mo fun when the WB and UPN were separate entities of poopstacks. Anywho, without further Freddy Adu…
Back to You – Fox’s newsroom comedy, where Frasier meets Raymond‘s Bizatch, has the best shot at longevity. And if they run outta story ideas, they can juss bring Niles on as the new movie critic, or rip off ye olde episodes WKRP. Not like anyone would care, or know the difference. Odds of being canceled this season? 1000/1
Private Practice – pretty ballsy to create a spin-off after only 3 seasons of Gayhater’s Anatomy, but if there can be 3889123774 CSIs, then I guess there can be 12381283 doctor shows! Juss be thankful that ER never spun-off into some poop like Lockhart To Lockhart. Odds? 500/1
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Cane – I think this show is about Jimmy Smits doing stuff with a goatee, with like hot chicks like everywhere. Well, he earned rave reviews at my sister’s wedding, so it’ll be up to the citizens if Cane survives or not. I say they do. Odds? 100/1
Bionic Woman – Tina Turner once sang, ‘We Don’t Need Another Hero’, but don’t tell that to NBC, who will probably greenlight a thousand more superhero shows if this one succeeds. But if CW’s Aquaman fizzled, even with Ving Rhames AND Lou Diamond Phillips, is there hope for the BW? Well, Michelle Ryan aint no Lindsay Wagner, but then again Lindsay Wagner wasn’t no Robert Wagner neithers. Odds 75/1
Dirty Sexy Money – wurstest title since Eastern Promises, but look how good that turned out to be, eh? DSM easily has the mos bangable cast of the fall (well, actually in the male dept). Isn’t that worth something? Or will this go the way of other elite NYC family snoozes, like Central Park West? Odds? 69/1
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Pushing Daisies – the more Barry Sonnenfeld directed TV shows, the butter. It certainly looks like a cool show, but isn’t it Tru Calling w/o the hot bod of Count Dooku’s daughter Eliza? Odds? 50/1
Gossip Girl – still pining for Marissa Cooper? Yeah, me too and the breastest tits gonna get is Josh Schwartz’s next joint about private school kidz doing stoopid stuff like things AND stuff!! On any other network, this would last maybe 8 episodes at most, but c’mon, it’s the CW. Odds? 30/1
Cashmere Mafia – it’s Sex and the City all over again, cept with 100% less horseface!! Odds? 55/2
Life – Damian Lewis is a fine actor, but was he really the right choice for the TV version of the Eddie Murphy/Martin Lawrence flick from the ’99? Odds? 25/1
Women’s Murder Club – Angie Harmon has come a long way since her Baywatch Nights days (like wasting her time inJason Sehorn‘s bed), but she’d be better of wearing a swimsuit here than donning a trenchcoat in this sure to be bore fest. Odds? 20/1
Chuck – what if Jim Halpert talked more AND helped to save our country? That’s what NBC is hoping yer wondering in this other Josh Schwartz show that’s helmed by McG. In theory, this show sounds like it rocks the cash-bar, but the name is beyond meh. Good luck Chuck. Odds? 39/2
Viva Laughlin – Cop Rock with Shelly Johnson. If you know what that means, maybe you’ll be a bit intrigued. If you don’t, you won’t be tuning in anywayz. Odds? 18/1
Big Shots/Carpoolers – I think someone sold ABC the same exact show, twice! Odds for both? 1563/100
Journeyman – don’t spank me wrong, I heart Lucius Vorenus more than Titus Pullo does, but if Rome can’t be built in a day or last two seasons, how will this catch on with viewers? Odds? 12/1
Samantha Who? – more like Who CARES! Odds? 10/1
K-Ville – Anthony Anderson as a policeman patrolling the ravaged streets of New Orleans? Nice work Fox. What’s next? Roberto Benigni working at the Ground Zero construction site? Odds? 9/1
Reaper – don’t fear this Kevin Smith TV series, cause I bet it’ll be mo entertaining than Chuck, and it stars a mog (a half-man & a half-dog)! Or it could end up being as ‘entertaining’ as Clerks 2. Run for the hills at the first sign of a donkey show joke. Odds? 8/1
Life Is Wild – they shoulda taken the money they spent on this show and sent all 3 of its viewers on a Disney’s Animal Kingdom vacation. Odds? 15/2
Caveman – does anyone expect this one to succeed? It’ll be replaced midseason by an Aflac duck dramedy. Odds? 7/1
Moonlight – it airs on a Friday. Even people who stay at home on Friday nights don’t watch network TV. Odds? 7/2
The Big Bang Theory – I lost all hope in this one when I found out it wasn’t about the guys behind the Bang Bus Odds? 2/1
Aliens in America – think American Dreamz, with even more zzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Odds? 1/1
31. Oct, 2007 
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