Tag Archives: Cuthbert

The Corin Nemec Epidemic

Blessed be the people who use twelve sided dice


+ I’m holding out for the longer, un-cut version of Colin Farrell in The Nude World [NSFW]

+ Test BEST footage from the upcoming Transformers flick? Now the only thing I’m worried about is dem recreating THAT sound [via Pakula Shaker]

+ I’d almost rather see Gerry II released

+ FF’s to tour!! Hopefully Grandma will be left behind again [via BV]

+ With simian ricer Ian Brown and the Gorillaz both up for Brits, I figured the Banana Splits were a shoo in for the ‘Outstanding Contribution To Music’ award

+ I think it’s safe to say that Parker Lewis lost

+ Can someone be literally scared to death?

+ Remember Airline Bags? They be my Cliff Engle sweaters for the ’06. eBay (and coco) BEWARE!!

+ Tyson’s Punch-Out COMES ALIVE!! [via DV]

+ Free 411 [via Mess]

+ Search Flickr by drwing

+ Мокрые и пьяные вечеринки (Russian for NSFW)

+ O rly?

+ And when I see this snapple from Jen El’s calendar below, like Jacky White sez, I juss don’t know what to do with myself…

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Good News Mares Bad News Bears

Good News Mares!
KIM BAUER/CUTHBEST TO RETURN TO 24!!

Bad News Bears!
– KIM BAUER/CUTHBEST TO RETURN TO 24!!

Bad News Bears!
The end of the 2nd AVE FRIGGIN DELI????
Good News Mares!
– The beginning of the 2nd Ave Deli on 8th Ave???

Bad News Bears!
– Silky smoothe Lou Rawls outted his fork peace
Good News Mares!
– We will continue to use his name on this dot org as something that rhymes with ‘y’alls

Bad News Bears!
– Andy Rooney portrayer found dead
Good News Mares!
– The REAL Andy Rooney will NEVER DIE!!! …and isn’t afraid to post angry letters that take shots at his scraggly eyebrows

Good News Mares!
– Jon Stewart and NOT Shitty Crystal is hosting the Oscars!!!
Bad News Bears!
– Mediocre movies will win gold, like Walk The Line

Good News Mares!
Hustle & Flow 2???
Bad News Bears!
– Starring Mischa Barton?????

Good News Mares!
– da Da Vinci Code is FRYNALLY paperback bound
Bad News Bears!
– the ending STILL BLOWS, almost as much as Tom Hanks’ hairpiece!!

Good News Mares!
The SS Sex Boat will be burned as the Vikings go ashore next season

Bad News Bears!
– Their mustached owner hired a new Captain, with a stache that makes him more likely to molest children than serve drinks

Good News Mares!
– HRT the V will never pull a Kate Moss
Bad News Bears!
– Or HAVE BOOBS!!

Good News Mares!
– Sam Mendes admits he’s a hack!
Bad News Bears!
– I still can’t get back the 5 hours I spent watching Boohead and Road To Snoozeriation

Good News Mares!
Noel Gallagher Takes Back Blur ‘AIDS’ Comment
Bad News Bears!
– AT&T may get chlamydia for using Oasis’ ‘All Around The World’ in their new ad campaign

Good News Mares!
– HAL-9000 & R2-D2 will be inducted into the Robot Hall of Fame
Bad News Bears!
R.O.B. and D.A.R.Y.L. will have to wait another year

Good News Mares!
– Besides ‘Other’, Pam Mueller is everyone’s mos flavorite Jeopardy! Ultimate Tournament of Champions participant
Bad News Bears!
– She has yet to become mother of my children, and since we are the #2 search result for her name that probably guarantees she’s been to this site and aint too interested in becoming the mother of my children

Good News Mares!
More Ali G NBA promos!
Bad News Bears!
– The NBA still eggsists!!!

Good News Mares!
– The Giants fans now know what it feels like to get James Thrashed/witness back alley abortions at G-Men Stadium
Bad News Bears!
– We’ll have to wait til Augusto for some mo of that highly special/thighly entertaining Jeremy Shockey STOOPIDITY

Good News Mares!
– Dan Snyder and his endless deep Jew pockets
Bad News Bears!
Bad News FOR THE Bears! (and everyone else’s eyes)
– A rematch of week one’s borefest

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Our Lil Rising Star 69

Twats sure to be le breastest movie (at least remake) of the ’06?


Camilla Belle vs Water: THE MOVIE

aka, When A Stranger Calls, which finally gots itself a trailer! Note to Sony Pictures: send me an advanced DVD copy so I can have great spank material for January, aka Crime Stoppers Month!


• Belated, but never too late to fork the peace of O’s ho Elrod Hendricks. I remember when I was a lil boy and actually cared about boring things like baseball, I forced my rents into taking me to the annual O’s fan picnic. I was hoping Cal Ripken and his fuckface brother were going to be there, but instead we got bunk-ass journey man Kevin Hickey and Elrod. I was crushed, but gettin their autographs made up for it… considering that Elrod’s mussa skyrocketed since his death from 3 cents to 6!!!

• Cuthbest to return to 24 this year? Only if you trust the werds of one Joanne Weintraub

• Peep the teaser trailer to Mel Gibson’s Mayan mess Apocalypto… 3 to 1 he somehow he blames the Jews for their extinction

• A year later and the good people of Roanoke, VA still aren’t sure if it was Borat who turned their rodeo into a almost stampede… guess dem Red States aren’t big subscribers of HBO

• Gorillaz up for MTV’s Cribs

• 18 zillion people sent me this link, so I guess I should post it: The Chappelle Theory

• Justin Case you missed it on yer internets rounds: He-Man/She-Ra: A Christmas Special

• So I guess I shouldn’t count on potato latkes in the Kingdom this year, eh luv the V?

• What do you plan to do with yer extra 2005 second? I can’t decide between patting myself on the back or patting my balls

• Rotten Tomatoes’ ’05 Bombs List… boviously House of Wax and Domino wouldn’ta been considered bombs had they taken in account the only reviews that matter: OURS!!

• The True Cadillac™ of Bicycles

• wayfaring.com

• Frynally, someone else’s boobies have replaced Tara Reid’s judge hatchet job as les nastiest bazongies in the world [double duhvs NSFWness]

• Lookin for a bigger effin miracle than the sorta special holiday of Chahhannuaakakkakkah? How bout dem Skins who are the NFC’s HOTTiest team, who juss avenged the live abortion I saw in late Rocktober, and who now be mere baby steps away from the pay-offs? So start hittin up Orbitz for early Feb flights to the D, fill yer thIghpod up wit the sweet reggae sounds of The Joe Gibbs Family in the back [via the Dollar], and wipe the dust of yer bumpers, cause I wanna see these babies everywhere!!!


and, yeah, uh, after many a moons of semi-funemployment, I’m happy to report, I is fully employed 1nce again. I hope working under Milhouse’s dad at the cracker factory turns out to be more fun then it sounds

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Chicken (Pre)Tenders

Who do these peoples think they is?


for there is only room for one Master of the femur

• For once, the end of the NFL season is actually more about the Redskins, and less about my fantasy teams… that juss shat the bed. Oh, by the gay, lick my grundle COWBOYS, AGAIN!!!

• Trace Ayala reacts to ex-fiancee Cuthbest’s current NHL blogging and banging, ‘I love her to death, so whatever happens, happens. We’ve both got so much going on right now.‘ And by ‘going on’, he means masturbating, picking up J-T’s dry cleaning, and spending 6 hours a day anonymously making snarky comments on her blog

• em pee treses that have finally displaced ‘Awesome Gawd’ [d-lode] atop of my broken thIghpod: ‘California 2005’ by Phantom Planet [find it here] and The Gay Cowboy Theme Song from Brokeback Mt [d-lode], which is kinda bitched at swirth with the Princess Bride theme [d-lode] + this bonus fab Finbarr remix [find it here]

• Apparent lie, the White Stripes are the only people on earth allowed to use the color combo of black, white, and red. No word on if they lay claim on the ‘What’s black and white and read all over?‘ joke

• Tina Fey to do the umpossible: make Sacha Baron Cohen unfunny

• Wish I had a Bar Refaeli instead of a Bar Mitzvah

• Maria Sharapova’s Motorola M1000 sold for $7,500. After learning this, I cleaned up the kingdom a bit and sold some of her leftover pubes on eBay. Unfortch, I only gots a paltry 6 roubles

• Why spend 15 bones for the DVD of the vastly overrated Wedding Crashers [review] when you can spend 10 to see the DVD in a movie theater?!

• Primary Colors + Edtv + Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World = the American Dreamz trailer… read: most likely to be one giant poo on a stick

• Cheetos Lip Balm or this…


take your pick puke
[via The Made of Brawn-steeens]

• Own Uncle Tom’s Cabin, and in turn get to live near the Thigh Master’s family! [via Navi]

• Things I learned by watching 60 Minutes: Mike Wallace is the most tanned Jew of all time

• Why didn’t someone get license to kill Jodie Lynn Tillen before filming began on License To Kill? I mean, you call this costume designing? NOBODY makes Robert Davi look like a fool and deserves to live!

• How do cats “know” to use litter boxes?… but still no answer as to how Cats stayed on Broadway for so long

• A poster of meat hottier than that 70s Farah Fawcett one

• Richard Branson wants to call you

• Animated Knots by Greg

• A Salute to Salute Your Shorts [via The Mask]

• City Rag Doll reminds us of a grrrrrrrrrreat site that she flazzled from us last year, so I’m flizzling it back this year: Scared of Santa photo gallery

• I dont know either [NSFW]

• Siskel & Ebert uncensored!!!!!!! [via Monkey Helper]

• And I have lil to no frigidaire idear who Alizeé Jacotey is, sides the fact that’s she’s some sorta singer, may actually be Joe Jacoby‘s niece, and hails from the Land of Fries (Thighland’s closet geographical ally), but spanks to Cpt Bees Nuts, I’ll be buttering her croissant and beatin the crap outta her until she can’t stand the au bon PAIN all up in the ’06!!

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Yours, Mine & Ours & Everyone We’ve Blown


[via Moody BOOS]

• Wees all know that ‘Lisha Cuthelespurt loves the hockey puck, but to hockey fcuk? Finally, a bona fide reason to care about the NHL again, and tonsil hockey too!!! [via JJ]

• Stroker Ace & The Archdukes? No mouth-watering here. Not even any hunger [d-lode] for (this) stink

• Brett Ratner, I apologize for everything I’ve ever said about you and that friggin photobooth of yers

• Any Bob Hoskins news is good news

• And for all the Roberts and Thigh Masters out there who’ve been McDyin to McClutchin their McCrotchs: Martine McCutcheon, lesbian sex scenes, The English Harem. Too bad there aint no such thang as ITV1America

• ‘Pova tops Russia’s rich list for athletes. So who the scrooge is #2, Nikolai Volkoff?

• Frynally, a blizogger who aint afraid to put albums you’ve actually heard of in their top ten of the year! I HEART YOU THE MOS JASONSHOPPE!!! + yer unearthing of that Spike Jonezes/GAP ad make me wanna dry hump u even more… although the link has been floatin ’round on many a websites, I still wanna be your dog, dawg!!!

• Ricky Martin describes the last porno he watched + other golden info [via Larry Mullins JrSr]

• Tommy Lee Jones’ finally found some part-time work for his ‘inventive’ college roomie

• Buckner and Garcia, a middle class man’s Loggins & Messina

• 10 bones well saved


• I’m the anti-Sally Field… You dislike me, you really dislike me

• CC the IV SUCKS!!!

• A white guy and some people formerly known as ‘Orientals’

• Metamorph Faces

• 2006 is already shaping up to be the best 2006 MT EVEREST!!!!

• The power is in your hands [via Witz]

• I’m pulling for “Boom Goes the Dynamite”

• Poland’s greatest contribution to the world since being the butt of many Blanche Knott jokes: this Neverending Story websizzle (and u better hit every link, cause how else u gonna find a pic of director Wolfgang Petersen semi molesting Barret Oliver?)


• Guided by voices, namely Mr T’s, Burt Reynolds’, and Dennis Hopper’s

• Mint yer own Monopoly money! SO EFFIN MINT!! [via K2P]

• Solving the Rubik’s Cube [via Gorillam]

• For some reason I think I’ve posted this before, or is it juss the same wet dream I keep having every night? [via The Meat Clip/Roach Hook]

• ualuealuealeuale

• I tolds ya, no one had more fun at my 10-year reunion than I, the mos populous kid EVER

• And which love goes the deepest (aka, to 11)… myne, for the girl with the Tom Cruise brows, or Camilla’s chair fetish, or John Holmes’es’es, who was so mad deep, he could stick his unit so far thru the Ozone hole that it coulda reached Uranus!! No contest, cause my dong could reach the milky way and draw a map of Hawaii on her chest even if I was in Alpha Centauri playing Atari!! YOU SO FLY BABY THAT I GONNA TAKE ONE PICTURE OF YOU AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THERE ARE TWO OF YOUS!!!!! I AM REASON PHOTOSHOP INVENT!!!


Goin’ Postal Script – I’m headed back to the Coat Factory, VT this Sunday for another week of syrup hotness. Anyone know of a goo sports bar where a brotha could watch that hot Skins/Cards game at 4? If so, the Al’s is on me!

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