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Thighs Wide Music 2006


Remember, I’m a movie snob, not a music one, so my top picks are pretty much the only albums I listened to this past year. I’d rather be adventurous when I order out for Chinese, not when seekin out hot new artists that every other blogger cross the globe wastes their time leg humpin on. But why should I explain myself when I basically launched Lily Allen’s US career, right?

Les Breastest Albums
of 2006
To Hug Denim In Closets To


(I just don’t know hot to quit using this image)

1) Matthew Friedberger – Winter Women
(but NOT Holy Ghost Language School)

2) Lily Allen – Alright, Still
3) Jean-Benoit Dunckel – Darkel

4) The Flaming Lips – At War With The Mystics
5) The Sounds – Dying to Say This to You

6) The Streets – The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living
7) The Who – Endless Wire
8) Kasabian – Empire

9) The Blue Safari – The Bluegrass Tribute To Air
10) Ghostface Killah – Fishscale
11) Keane – Under the Iron Sea

Concerts That Were More
Procerts Than Concerts


Wu-Tang Clan @ Phil’s Electric Factory – Feb 11
Gorillaz @ The Apollo – Apr 2 & 6 (Opening/Closing nights)
The Sounds @ Irving Platz – Apr 12
Ladytron @ Irving/Webster Hall – Apr 14/Sep 28
Keane @ Bowery – Jun 23
The Streets/Lad
y Sov
@ Webster Hall – Jun 27
The Raconteurs @ Lolla – Aug 4
Chris Isaak @ The Beacon – Aug 18
Roger Waters @ Jones Beach – Sep 15
The Who @ MSG – Sep 18
Lily Allen @ Hiro Ballroom – Oct 10

+ two mos painful shows I sat thru
Charlatans UK @ Webster – May 16
Radiohead @ MSG Theatre – June 14

Tuneses For Toonces

Amy Winehouse – ‘Rehab’ [d]
Beck – ‘Think I’m In Love’ [d]
Beirut – ‘Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)’ [d]
Charlatans UK – ‘When The Lights Go Out In London’ [d]
Chris Cornell – ‘You Know My Name’ [d]
Christina Aguilera – ‘Candyman’ [d]
Darkel – ‘TV Destory’ [d]
DMC w/ Sarah McLach ‘Just Like Me’ [d]
Edie Brickell & The New Bos – ‘I’ll Wear You Down’ [d]
Fanfare Ciocarlia – ‘Born To Be Wild’ [d]
Fiery Furnaces – ‘I’m In No Mood’ [d]
Flaming Lips – ‘It Overtakes Me’ [d]
Ghostface Killah & Ne-Yo – ‘Back Like That’ [d]
Gnarls Barkley – ‘Crazy’ [d]
Gnarls Barkley – ‘Gone Daddy Gone’ [d]
Good, The Bad & The Queen – ‘Herculean’ [d]
Jack White – ‘What Goes Around’ [d|vid]
Jarvis Cocker – ‘Cunts Are Still Running The World’ [d]
Justin Timberlake – ‘My Love’ [d]
Kasabian – ‘Shoot The Runner’ [d]
Keane – ‘Is It Any Wonder?’ [d]
Leperchaun’s Hot Dogs – ‘Where The Gold At?’ [d|vid]
Lily Allen – ‘Friday Night’ [d]
Lily Allen – ‘Knock Em Out’ [d]
Lily Allen – ‘LDN’ [d]
Matthew Friedberger – ‘Her Chinese Typewriter’ [d]
Moby & Debbie Harry – ‘New York, New York’
(Armand Van Helden remix) [d]
Paris Hilton – ‘Stars Are Blind’ [d]
Raconteurs – ‘Steady As She Goes’ [d]
Red Hot Chili Peppers – ‘Dani California’ [d]
Sean Lennon – ‘Friendly Fire’ [d]
Sounds – ‘Painted By Numbers’ [d]
Streets – ‘Hotel Expressionism’ [d]
Who – ‘Not Enough’ [d]
Wigwam – ‘Wigwam’ [d]
Wolfmother – ‘Woman’ [d]
Wu-Tang Clan – ‘9 Milli Bros’ [d]
Zutons – ‘You’ve Got A Friend In Me’ [d]
•
think this year’s blazzles blew burrito chunks? Czech out the ’05, the ’04, and the ’03’s moist choices!

and before we jet outta here, lettuce pay due respeck

Peace The Fork Out
to
the man who really needs no introduction
other than bein
the Godfather of Soul
James Joseph
Brown, Jr.


1928 or 1933 – 2006

I was lucky to have seen the man perform twice in my life. The first time was the mos memorable, although I was 10 and I can’t eggzactly prove that I was there. Anywho, the event was a six-hour Vietnam Vet tribute concert entitled Welcome Home, and was held at the now deceased Capital Centre, in Landover, MD. The bill was chock-loaded with the likes of Crosby Stills, & Nash, Richie Havens, Linda Ronstadt, et al, but one act stood above the rest: James Brown. I didn’t understand why he kept on playing, even after endless pleas for him to stop came from a stagehand, but years later I found out that is was all a par
t of his act. What a true showman. A showman who’s talents (and hair) will never equalled. Hopefully Papa’s got a brand new bag and whatever else he desires in that big Apollo Theater in the sky

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Last Minute Chopping

& one from the vaults
•


Chappy Cholidays to you and yours and yer lady’s dresser drawers


[F-Wad via PaxMan]

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John McClane Stevenson

Peace The Fork Out In Overdrive
to
a Pacemaker who didn’t have a pacemaker
Green Lantern’s green lighter
Dudley Do-Right’s doer
the rhyming Dodger
Divine’s dresser
the OG Wheez
&
major ones
go out 2
to the guy
who Booger played in Ray
&
the dude who made it safe to JO to female blue things

Marc Jacobs hearts kiddie porn

by the looks of it, her Current Royal Thighness may be headed to Hagville, where our first HRT, Lohag, rules the school

song dat currently makin me the opposite of sober? The Shirley Bassey-e sassy-e Amy Winehouse’s ‘Rehab’ [d|vid]

go ahead, I dare you to send Andy Rooney your crap

while the Wii is slowly rollin out the oldies thru their virtual console dazzle (with some Commodore 64 titles comin in the future!), you can buy this thang and say g-bye to blowing your cartridges

Luscious Jackson’s Jill Cunniff goes solo. This news would be shocking if Luscious Jackson were still a band or if Jill Cuniff was riding my face like the Belmont Stakes. By the gay, her first LJ side-project, Kostars, is near and dear to my farts

Hootie & The Blowfishburger [Made of Brawn-steeeen]

Can you breastfeed if you have implants?

Can playing with a Slinky change the channels on your TV set?

Google’s patent search, although not endorsed by my father and brother, both patent laywers

OhMiBod [Girlhattan]

fess up, which one of you were searchin for ‘my sweet tits breasts anus naked butt thighs nude vagina hot camel toe poon tang clan heroes in a half shell

Wisconsin Man Runs Over, Eats Seven-Legged Transgendered Deer [Cruisespanko]

and the movie to beat for ’08’s Oscars? No, not Harry Pots 5 [trailer] or even Buy Apple or Die Hard [trailer], but the flick with a flying dog that’s got more Air than Bud, Underdog [Pakula Shaker]!

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Abby Normal

Peace The Fork Out
to
the craziest Joe
who put on a ton of hitz
was the only Raymond cast member to not win an Emmy
whose best man was John Lennon
and who made bald beautiful
long before Tony Kornheiser
Peter Boyle, Jr

1935 – 2006

also PTFOuts go out to the laddy mag I probably read once (that doesn’t include looks though), Joe & Marla’s sister from another mother, the oldest daughter of freed slaves, the Chief who hearted the 2-pt conversion + mo football on Turkey Day, Dawn Tinsley’s bachelorettehood, and my chances of having a baby with Nancy O’Brills

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