Thighs Wide Shut

1938 – 2005 | 1927 – 2005

• Cpt Zzzzzz happy to be a part of the 21st century

• FRANZ FERDINAND BURY FARTING FEUD

• Charlotte Church’s boobs get people canned, but how can I get her boobs on my can?

• The NCAA hates Indians

• When did Princess Leia become the Prime Minister of the Ukraine? [via Johnny $]

• Scarlett Johansson is forking Jewish?!?!@?! I’m going to save her a seat at my next Seder and give her a lil shank bone love.

• I can’t bee leave my Subway Sub Club membership is going to be revoked

• What’s the difference between e.g. and i.e.?

• Wanna make yer baby look really stoopid? Go ahead, no one’s stopping you

• Crates & Barrels, in videogames

• Bid on one unscratched McDonald’s Dick Tracy Crimestopper’s Game

• StuffOnMyCat.com

• TWS.org, your #5 search result for ‘men tea bagging pictures‘

• I almost thought my head was going to explode on Saturday. Why? Well, me and Chillary G have been playing O.C season 1 catch up and dared to watch 7 episodes in a span of 7 + hours (we took a break for dinner). Yep, 315 minutes filled with more or less the same melodramas being repeated over and over. How many times is Ryan not going to express his feelings to Marissa only to have her get upset at him and then not want to be with him only to want to be with him later on, but then he no longer wants to be with her? And why do they have to get rid of good characters all the time? Luke is effin the man and if Seth Cohen doesn’t want to I’d sure love to strongshlong Samaire Armstrong (who looks so much more fab with long hair). I juss can’t bee leave I missed that season when I first aired. I’ve been hitting myself in the head like Oliver ever since.

• And you can have the Jeff Garcia lookin one cause I got dibs on the short on dude with the hairy arms and back!

[via BBB via Gulf of Sonkin]

Pace La Forcella Fuori
aka PEACE THE FORK OUT…

“Life is here only to be lived so that we can, through life, earn the right to death, which to me is paradise. Whatever it is that will bring me the reward of paradise, I’ll do the best I can.”

We’d like to know a little bit about your for our files:

• Measurements: 38-23-35

• Won an Oscar, a Tony, and an Emmy

• Won my boner

• Has watched The Graduate only once

• Is not Jewish, despite being married to one of the funniest Jews of all time, Thigh Master Mel Brooks

• Was a leading choice to play the mother in Terms of Endearment. And was offered the role of Regan’s mum in The Exorcist, but turned it down cause she was preggers

• Helped Marge conquer her fear of flying, while Homer tried a new bar where everybody knows your name.

• Her Hollywood Walk of Fame star is at 6368 Hollywood Blvd

• Finished with a 60% fresh rating on the Tomatometer

• Was NOT a polar explorer

And last, but not dianne wiest, the only movie she ever wrote AND directed was…

Q: What does a turkey do when he flies upside down?
A: He gobbles up!

Q: What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?
A: A sparrow with a machine gun!

Q: What has yellow skin and writes?
A: A ballpoint banana!

Q: What goes up white, and comes down yellow and white?
A: An egg!

Q: How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people?
A: Make applesauce!

And my personal flavorite, which I also use in life cause I am as lame and as gay as the Riddler:

Q: What people are always in a hurry?
A: Russians!

And boy do I love dem Russians, hispecially white HOT ones!!