Thighs Wide Shut

…post animated gifs of the greatist thing to happen since Howard Dean screamed and Pat O’Brien reemed

The Heart of the Game
Nuttin But Net
Trailer

Two miraculous things happened right before my very own eyes. The first is that I saw people clapping and rooting loudly at a taped basketball game on film like they were in Vega$ for the NCAA Tourney. The second is that I lived after watching 102 minutes of women’s basketball, which is 9.27272727(repeated) times more minutes than when I watched the Lady Terps triumph over the Duke Rapists, which was the first time I watched women’s b-ball since my Rocket Pride Rocket Power days. That right there should tell you there’s sum-tang quite special about The Heart of the Game, the captivating and truly heartwarming doc about a UW taxation teacher (who could pass for any pudgy bearded teacher with a great dry wit that you may have had), who decides to give high school basketball coaching a try, and the girls who’s lives and figures he shapes over the course of a handful of seasons. While not as epic and stu-pen-dis as Steve James’ slam dunk, it’s still worthy of being dubbed by meself: Hoopette Dreams.

That brief but summationious summary pretty much sums it up, so now I’d like to take the opportunity to pass along a note to any aspiring documentarian, or filmmaker for that splatter: please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please STOP SHOOTING ON Digital Video. Sure, no budget cinema was cool for all of 10 minutes in the mid to late 90’s (see 10 minutes and then some of T Vinterberg’s mid to late 90’s Dogme95-a-thon The Celebration), but enuff already. Slain and pimple, movies shot on DV look like crap, or like a real film that’s been shat upon and then taken to the dry cleaners who try their best but still can’t get the shat upon stains out. Look, I know film stock is eggspensive as hellz, but it’s worth it. So do whatever you have to do, sell yer dad’s sperm, yer mum’s eggs, and yer brother’s worthless unopened boxes of 1990’s Pro Set NFL cards, but stop torturing my eyes. Plus, film is forever, and digital video is fornever, or maybe even for Fenella Woolgar

Recommended for those who like: Christopher Brian Bridges‘ vox, Jimi Hendrix and Quincy Jones’ high school, and the second ever female Harlem Globetrotter

Possible Porno Name: I Heart-On Your Gams and Yams

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix last year’s DV wunderkind Murderball [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor [d]

IMDb Sweeney: someone by the name of The Angel not only scored this film, but also worked some of dat magic for Boiler Room (REMEMBER THE MUSIC??? neither do I). Anywho, I have the feeling that she may be related to Drexl Spivey, but then again, I’ve been known to make mistakes, from time to time

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): A doc that works = Breast In Show

Opens this Friday in NY/LA, and elsewhere whenever LOSERS

until next time, the balcony is clothed…

The 2006 NFL schedule has been unleashed!

And since everyone loves del Skins, and messiah-at-large, Daniel Jewmoney Snyder

Sep 11 – Minnesota, 7:00pm WIN
Sep 17 – @Dallas, 8:15pm WIN
Sep 24 – @Houston, 1:00pm WIN
Oct 1 – Jacksonville, 4:15pm WIN
Oct 8 – @N.Y. Giants, 1:00pm WIN
Oct 15 – Tennessee, 1:00pm WIN
Oct 22 – @Indianapolis, 4:15pm WIN
Week 8 – BYE WIN
Nov 5 – Dallas, 1:00pm WIN
Nov 12 – @Philadelphia, 1:00pm WIN
Nov 19 – @Tampa Bay, 1:00pm WIN
Nov 26 – Carolina, 1:00pm WIN
Dec 3 – Atlanta, 1:00pm WIN
Dec 10 – Philadelphia, 1:00pm WIN
Dec 17 – @New Orleans, 1:00pm WIN
Dec 24 – @St. Louis, 1:00pm WIN
Dec 30 – N.Y. Giants, 8:00pm WIN

17 and OH, inculding a huge upset over BYE
You heard it here furst!!!
(or more like 11-5… if Mark Brunell can last more than 2 games)

and btw, Antwaaaan is…

for Bar Mitzvahs, weddings, and mall openings

GO NATS, until it’s August!

and Andy Rooney on Katie Couric [via General Scarecroffs]

Good Girls 78, Bad Girls 75, OT

Women’s Final > Men’s Final/Joakim Noah’s facial expressions

Mandy Moore and Robin Williams are going to the chapel

Lenny Kravitz wishes he was is Jimi Hendrix

Martine McCutcheon and Richard E Grant drink tea

Shavlik Randolph and Louis Williams want to double team you [Navi Eht Elbirret]

Britney Spears parties with dwarves

Ashley Simpson does not need me

Bandwagon Boy goes into space

There’s no reason 2007 couldn’t have been 1997

Trevor’s mum is the breast

Doctor Who is the new William Shatner

He may or may not look particularly James Spaderish

Twin Peaks turns 16 this Saturday, and my dear Papa, 63. So who’s buying the black licorice? [ND Kalu]

‘One Wild Night,’ Beastie Boys: Rappers let 50 fans create movie of Madison Square Garden concert. The film turned out so well, the same 50 people have been challenged to make a Knicks telecast watchable. – Dan Steinberg and Desmond Bieler

Gawker stalks George Clooney

George Clooney stalks Gawker

Music Snob stalks Dangermouse, and his family while eating soul food

spreaking de Deutsche of…

time for a

Muzak BREAK!!!

May 9th can’t come soon enuff, or about as many times as I cum to the sweet sweet tunes of Gnarls Barkley. Can you say future breastest album of the ’06?

‘Crazy’ [l]
‘Crazy’, cover by The Kooks [l]
‘Go Go Gadget Gospel’ [l]
‘Gone Daddy Gone’, Violent Femmes cover [l]
‘Just A Thought’ [l]
‘Smiley Faces’ [l]

+ these two non-Barkley charles-ton chews…

‘Black Metallic’ – Catherine Wheel [d]

‘Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego’ – Rockapella [d]

(Diana) rigged door [vid]

The retro-fitting of a KitKat Chunky Peanut Butter bar

T H E M O V I E T I M E L I N E [CMB]

Montreal Expo 1967 [Met-Life]

GayWheels.com

Yoda Dog

What’s up with 666, the “mark of the beast”?

Man creates giant kebab

Up for grabs, to the highest bidder, one original amateur Leprechaun sketch [Gorillazzzzz]

And how does one make the NBA fun? Photoshop

Boo Florida Gatorades!

‘T.O.S.M.’ [d]

2002, Garyalnd stizz

GO MARYLAND WOMEN?

End Communication