Thighs Wide Shut

Damon Albarn, ashlongside Jamie Hewlett and Murdoc, took over Zane Lowe’s BBC Radio 1 show last nite and daybeaued three gloriously gnu Gorillaz demos. This was no lowe. This was a high! here the results hear

‘Binge’

‘Broken’

‘Electric Shock’

[POTQ]

or juss d-lode em hear

+ d-lode the new Lily Allen track ‘The Fear’ hear

Figwit rules
and Figwit lives!

wonder if Bret ever warned Elijah about wearing that ring

AV Club interviews Bret & Jemaine

the funkmaster flextastic Time Out covers

Conchords Season 2 starts this Sunday, at the same exact time that Diablo Cody’s latest experiment/excrement premieres

the bowel moment you haven’t been weighting fore:

Thighs Wides Shuts’
Tops Nines Albums
Wees Heards
This Years*

Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords | Les Chansons d’Amour Soundtrack± | Beck – Modern Guilt | Gnarls Barkley – The Odd Couple | MGMT – Oracular Spectacular | R.E.M. – Accelerate | The Streets – Everything Is Borrowed | The Raconteurs – Consolers Of The Lonely | Neil Diamond – Home Before Dark

* that’s 9 out of the total 13 albums we listened to this past year. yeah, we’re pretty far removed from the musiq seen these days. too many movies. too many boobies. and who has time to waste listening to hot new bands that will release one amazing album and follow it up with zero good albums (MGMT is the exception cause they rule wethinks/wehopes)? the 14 year old version of the Thigh Master would be so upset with today’s 89 year old Thigh Master. we used to know the names of songs. we also used to drink 3 Cokes and eat a whole giant bag of chips 3 hours before dinner and then eat a full dinner. the moral of the story? life is hammazin, regardless of age, it’s juss different, different like strokes can be, and when you’re young, eat chips and drink Coke as much as you can cause you never know when you’ll have time to overindulge like that again, let alone have time to discover new music when there are so many other distractions in this day and age like Mickey Rourke’s broken face, baby Suri’s haircut, Jillian Beyor’s rack, string cheese, and the NFL playoffs, even if your team’s already been eliminated cause the NFL can’t lose even more than Parker Lewis can’t

± it was released in France in 2007, but we weren’t in France in 2007, so don’t give us any grief or be an au bon pain in the arse

Tunses For Toonces

Another Way To Die – Jack White & Alicia Keys [d]
Black President – Nas [d]
Child In Time – Deep Purple [d]
(we 4got to include it on our bestest of 1970)
Delta Charlie Delta – Louis Garrel [d]
Disco Lies – Moby [d]
Don’t Go There – Neil Diamond [d]
Everyday It’s 1989 – Moby [d]
Белый Плащик – t.A.T.u. [d]
Going On – Gnarls Barkley [d]
Heaven For The Weather – The Streets [d]
Inner City Pressure – Flight of The Conchords [d]
Jizz In My Pants – The Lonely Island [d]
(which is like a low rent ‘Inner City Pressue’)
Legal Assassin – Anthony Stewart Head [d]
Lost! – Coldplay [d]
Low – Flo Rida ft T-Pain [d]
Mercy – Duffy [d]
Ooh Yeah – Moby [d]
Opening Theme Music – John Adams miniseries [d]
Rock El Casbah – Rachid Taha [d]
Smell Yo Dick – Riskay [d]
SOS – Pierce Brosnan [d]
Supernatural Superserious – R.E.M. [d]
The Return Of… – Supergrass [d]
The Switch and the Spur – The Raconteurs [d]
Time To Pretend – MGMT [d]
Walls – Beck [d]
Yes Man – Munchausen By Proxy [d]
You Me and the Bourgeoise – The Submarines [d]

and since we obviously don’t know shiz from shinola about today’s music we’ve decided to post our man Ashman (who’s a better looking young Josh Baskin)’s list o’ single hotness

I Woke Up Today – Port O’Brien
You – Atmosphere
Do The Panic – Phantom Planet
Hang On – Dr. Dog
Dying Is Fine – Ra Ra Riot
Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
Furr – Blitzen Trapper
Great Expectations – The Gaslight Anthem
Now I’m A Fool – Eagles Of Death Metal
Skinny Love – Bon Iver
Little Bit of Feel Good – Jamie Lidell
Gettin’ Up – Q-Tip
Brand New Start – Little Joy
I Need A Life – Born Ruffians
Two Ways Out – Darker My Love
Mr. Carter – Lil Wayne
Warwick Avenue – Duffy
I Was Made For You – She & Him
Sure Hope You Mean It – Raphael Saadiq
Soul On Fire – Spiritualized

Concerts That Were
Tastier Than A
Certs Mint

Beck @ Unite Palace Theater
Flight of the Conchords @ Town Hall
Gnarls Barkley @ Irving Plaza
Jarvis Cocker @ Terminal 5
Neil Diamond @ MSG
Paul Simon & Friends Under African Skies @ BAM
Rock The Bells @ Jones Beach
Stevie Wonder @ Jones Beach
The Raconteurs @ Terminal 5

those who forget the rast are doomed to pepeat it

’07
’06
’05
’04
’03

long live Peaches!

Yes Man
A Series of Fortunate Events
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

The peoples hath spoken and apparently the peoples don’t like their Jim Carrey serious (The Majestic, Man on the Moon, Eternal Sunshine… that movie was mad loved but he got no love) or scary (The Number 23, Lemony Snicket… possibly his single greatest performance/role). Well the peoples are flat(chested) out wrong (cept for probably in regards to The #23, although we dont thinks anyone would admit to seeing it) cause Carrey is a wonderfully unique talent that always gives his audience 111% entertainment, regardless of the genre he’s acting up in, or if the movie’s actually any good. Obviously he’s at his best when dishing out the yuks, so since we all can agree on that then you’ll be as pleased as punch to know that his latest, Yes Man, puts him right back where we want em, the laugh factory. The trailer makes it out to be Liar Liar 2 (and in general a laaaaaame broad comedy), but this Peyton Reed (Bring It On, Down With Love, and the writer of The Back To The Future ride???) directed film based off of British journalist/funnyman Danny Wallace‘s book of the same name (here’s an article about him and the movie) quickly surpasses it’s gimmickry and finds symmetry as a perfect Jim Carrey comedy, with a dash of rom sweetly added to the com. It’s all simple stuffs, but it’s simply funny stuffs, so what more could you ask for? Well you can forget about Carrey’s two generic onscreen BFFs (Bradley Cooper and Danny Masterson) and instead focus on the terrific trio supporting him: his lovely love interest (Zooey Deschanel, back in our good graces after her poo faces in The Happening), his grampy guru (Terence Stamp, who everyone should kneel before) and his bubbly boss who throws the bestest themed bashes (the thighlarious Rhys Darby, for those who haven’t already been thighlaried by him as Murray the always present manager on FOTC). With all these overly heavy award season movies clogging multiplexes and farthouse cinemas out there, it’s a pleasure to have a distraction like Yes Man to say yes to. Wees hoping Carrey will one day say yes to a movie where he’s not allowed to talk. Can you imagine what he could do with a role like that? Yes we can

On Solid Sound: the Yes Man soundtrack rocks the cashbar, featuring 9 songs by the Eels (and their 2 bestest tunes ever, ‘Flyswatter’ [d] and ‘The Sound Of Fear’) and 4 by the Zooey’s band within the movie, Munchausen By Proxy. Click hear to here 2 of them Munchy tracks

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Nothing But The Truth
A Source Subject
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

The Valerie Plame affair practically begs itself to be turned into a movie (so does the David Beckham-Rebecca Loos [NSFW] affair, on whatever the British equivalent of Cinemax is). And while we wait for the Doug Liman-Nicole Kidman treatment to hit the big screen, take a dip with Nothing But the Truth, a factually fictional fully functional film that delves deep down into the depths of journalism and their deep throats (what timing, with Mark Felt‘s death). The Contender director Rod Lurie goes all All The President’s Men and delivers an All The President’s Men Against A Woman. That woman is Rachel Armstrong (Kate Beckinsale, like we’ve never seen her before… mostly w/o make-up, trying to ‘ugly’ it up for your Academy consideration), a DC newspaper reporter who outs a CIA operative (Vera Farmiga, secretly and not so secretly becoming one of our bestest young although not so young actresses around), whose husband publicly questioned the ultimately false information that lead the almost assassinated US President to wage war on Venezuela (what is this, a stripped from the
headlines Law & Order episode?), and all HELL’Enfant plaza breaks loose. The govmint want to know who blabbed these govmint secrets and so they put special prosecutor Matt Dillon in charge to bust balls (c’mon, this is the same guy who hired Bill Murray as his lawyer in a case vs the two girls he took a NSFW champagne bath with!!!). Becks won’t reveal her source and a judge and Matt Dillon put her in jail until she talks the talks. They think she’ll eventually relent, but she has no intention of relenting and stays in jail not relenting. While she suffers, but stays tuffs on the inside, Alan Alda as her lawyer (what, no Bill Murray?), Angela Bassett as her editor and Noah Wyle as like the newspaper’s lawyer or stuff try to get her out, and David Schwimmer as her husband and that kid from Dexter as her kid, but not from Dexter try to live life w/o moms and her high ideals. The rest doesn’t exactly play out like reality, and that’s actually a good thing, cause having someone nicknamed after a Muppet gettin a commuted sentence isn’t a very cinematic conclusion. It gets a lil twisty at the very end, but it’s one of them nice lil ones, not one of those M Night Shamaladingdong ones that make you want to throw women down a flight of stairs (we do not condone the throwing of women down a flight of stairs, but it is a phrase that pays)

No Plame Jane: dude, did you ever see the Plamester on the cover of FHM?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

The Class
(Entre Les Murs)
To Sir With Love Mixed Feelings
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

France has been very kind to us Freedom Fryers this year with its exports in filmed film thingies (wtf Spain? you’re totally slacking!), and The Class closes us out on a thigh note. Winner of this year’s Palme d’Or, The Class is about a inner city multicultural class and its outercity white bread teacher. The film is free of the usual Hollywood gangsta throw downs, as teach tries to make his students, even the unteachable ones, stand and almost deliver, until he reaches his own breaking point. If you had a friend and they were about to become a teacher but you really don’t think that they should become a teacher then you should take that person thinking about becoming a teacher to this movie that probably will make them not want to become a teacher… in France… in the inner city. We barely leave the confines of the school’s grounds, so it feels a bit like detention, one you pay for, and one you should pay to see

Sextuple Threat: writer/star François Bégaudeau was the lead singer of a punk band called Zabriskie Pont, wrote a fictional novel about Mick Jagger and is the movie critic for France’s Playboy. when this guy’s done with his life we’d like to have it

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Yes Men opens everywhere today, while Truth rocks out in NY/LA, where The Class will play for one week only… before returning to NY/LA in late January

stay tuned kiddies, cause there’s plenty more reviews to come in the next week

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Gran Torino
A Man Hmong People
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Life. Death. Faith. Friendship. Family. Loyalty. Race relations. The economy. The ol’ American Way. Suburban decay. Doing the right thing. And even the Detroit Lions (sorta). All of these hot topics are flawlessly weaved into Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood‘s 30th film as a director, and what may ultimately be his final screen performance (SAY IT AINT SO!). In what is w/o question one of the bestest films of the year, GT may also be it’s mos funniest (eat your farts out Judd Apatow!). It’s also one of the finest fictional movies about the state of America today that we’ve seen in quite sum thyme… that happens to be hidden in the open of this vigilante street justice genre flick. Clint plays Walt Kowalski, a grizzled old Korean War vet (what a stretch!) who embodies the sarcastic loathing of Andy Rooney and the razor/racist sharp tongue of Archie Bunker (only Easty could make 7 zillion Asian stereotyped quips and not only get away with it, but make ya laff yer face off… unless yer name is Spike Lee). His wife’s recently passed on, his white neighbors have long since moved away and he doesn’t have much to look forward to, cept sittin on his porch sipping Pabst Blue Ribbon and indulging in any form of tobacco (hactually sounds like the good life to us!). He doesn’t want anything to do with his new immigrant neighbors… that is until his hand is (magnum) forced. Local gangs start harassing a defenseless boy and his sister (amateur, yet effective enuff performances by Bee Vang and Ahney Her) and Clint comes to their rescue. Each time he extends his sword, he lowers his shield and in turn starts to open his heart. He becomes more of a father figure to these kids than he had ever been to his own. It sounds like sum dang cheesy stuff, but lessthenone, the cheese works and tastes grrrrreat! So what about the car in the title? Juss another thing for us to give the film an accolade for: bestest use of a Gran Torino in a movie this century! Then again Starsky & Hutch wasn’t much competition in that category… although Gran Torino coulda been the greatesteest movie mt EVERest had it had Brande Roderick undressing

He Thought of Cars: the predecessor to the Ford Torino was the Ford Fairlane. The predecessor to the Gran Torino film is fortunately not The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Maybe tis was Pink Cadillac?

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

GT is currently playing in NY/LA and will start expanding like crazy this Friday and even mo on Xmas

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

pee es – Clint, please don’t EVER die. wees don’ts want to think of what American cinema woulds bees w/o yous

pee es 2 – wonder what he thinks of the Gorillaz song named after him?