Paul Simonon, Mick Jones, Damon Albarn

Gorillaz tour rehearsal pics [Gorillaz Unoffical]

+ 4 clips from Gorillaz live show
Portsmouth, England, March 21st

we saw 150ish flicks in the ’09
(down from 190ish last year)
and you probably didn’t
but we still luvs youes!

The Barely Legal Eighteensies

1) Hurt Locker – HURTs so good. LOCKERs even gooderer!!!!

2) Skin – this little seen/known true story got under our SKIN and you should let it do the same to yours!

3) Das Weisse Band (The White Ribbon) – the kids aint alright, and neither are their parents and neither are you if you pass on this!!

4) Il Divo – the devil is in the details and the devil is in the detailed Il Divo. whip it mmm mmm gooooood!

5) Tetro – Sofia Coppola who?

6) Avatar – who didn’t want to munch on Pandora’s box? or punch Joel Moore in the face?

7) A Serious Man – ‘the finesestest Jewish-oriented (non-Holocaust) film since The Ten Commandments. Eat yer farts out Woody Allen and Neil Simon!‘

8) Fantastic Mr Fox – Wes is more! Fooba Wooba John!

9) District 9 – fittingly #9 on our list, but Neill Blomkamp & Sharlto Copley‘s names tie for #1!!!

10) Somers Town – may the Shane Meadows grazing never end!!

11) Goodbye Solo – hello humanity!

12) Capitalism: A Love Story – Fatman returns!

13) The Road – paths of unglory!

14) Up – nobody makes a perfect first 1/3rd of a movie, and a whatevs for the other 2/3rds quite like Pixar did does!

15) Watchmen – don’t believe the pre-release hype, but do believe the post-release fact that it matched the graphic novel pourfectly!

16) The Messenger – Cheers meets Six Feet Under… not really!

17) Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! – the women glowed, the men plundered!

18) Broken Embraces – Almodóvar = film caviar!

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

The Blind Side, Brothers, Brüno, The Cove, Donkey Punch, Drag Me To Hell, GI Joe: Rise of Cobra, Guest of Cindy Sherman, In The Loop, Inglourious Basterds, Lymelife, Sugar, Surveillance, Two Lovers, Tyson & Where The Wild Things Are

6thishendith Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

The Death to Smoochy
Worstest Pictures
of the Year

Antichrist
Pandorum
The Boat That Rocked
Pirate Radio
& Push

The Gus van Sant
Most(ly) Pretentious
Most Overhyped
Guy Flies In Plane
Guy Lands On Ground
Guy Does Nuttin Really
Cept Meets Pilot That Look
Like Sam Elliot
Movie
For No Reason

Up In The Air

The Bare Un-Necessities/
Coulda Been A Contender

Nine
Invictus
Bronson
The Informers
Whatever Works
New York, I Love You
The Invention of Lying
&
4 Fast, 4 Furious

Trailers Worth Tractoring

The Informers, A Serious Man, Tetro, Where The Wild Things Are
A Single Man, 500 Days of Summer, 2012, District 9
& Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
and the wurst: Spinning Into Butter

Post Her
Post We
Post Haste!

& the wurstest ones

The Inland Empire
Shot On Digital Video
Film That Struck Out
Cause It Looked Like
Udder F$%king Sh@t!!

Public Enemies

Accent That Needed To Be
Axed & Sent Directly To Jail/Hell

Paul Schneider’s Scottish ‘accent’ in Bright Star
runner up down: Matt Damon in Invictus

The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year

That Guy
aka Michael Berryman
who appeared in 10ish movies
even though the Mac kid had ELEVEN credited roles in the ‘009

The Nice Try Lao Che Guevaraer

Food, Inc.
for not even remotely changing our minds
about eating yummy yet crappy yet yummy
ghetto meats made in America!

Flamingest Use of
An Angora Sweater
Since Ed Wood

Nicholas Hoult in A Single Man

Jizz Shots
Heard Round The World
That Weren’t Caused By Amber

Malin Akerman and her super-curvy NSFW a$$
in Watchmen

Bestest Flix
We Netted

Always Bet On These Lil
Shirley Temple Black
(& White) Children

Chibundu Orukwowu & Chigozie Orukwowu
Edie Martin
Max Records
Bailee Madison
Ryan Simpkins
Ella Ramangwane
Isabelle Fuhrman

Least Bangable Scary Lady
Since The Ancient Booer

the ole hag from Drag Me To Hell

Songs That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong

‘Freedom Fighters’ in the Star Trek trailer
‘Somebody To Love’ in A Serious Man [d]
‘Heroes & Villains’ in Fantastic Fox [d]
‘Heartbeats (Rex the Dog Remix)’ in Donkey Punch [d]
‘All Is Love’ in Where The Wild Things Are [d]
anything by Anvil
&
‘Ass 2 Ass’ with you [empee3] in Skins
(even dough Skins isn’t a movie
but we forgot to include that tune
in our TV or Music of 2009 wrap ups)

Unintentional Porn
To Be Wild Titles

April Showers
The Box
Crank 2
Donkey Punch
Eleven Minutes
Everlasting Moments
Five Minutes of Heaven
Gentlemen Broncos
Gigantic
The Girlfriend Experience
The Horse Boy
Humpday
I Can Do Bad
It Might Get Loud
The Lovely Bones
Not Easily Broken
The Princess and The Frog
Push
The September Issue
Spread
Sunshine Cleaning
Tickling Leo
Where The Wild Things Are
Whip It
Yoo Hoo Mrs. Goldberg

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Uzimann
Jon Eyez
Jadagrace
Victoria Stankiewicz
& Poo Poo Productions

9 Things Not Covered
In Nine, 9 or District 9

500 Zooey Deschanels
the first GI Joe tango in Paris
the Uzi spraying at the fake Gugg in The International
the plain jane-ness of Olivia Wilde’s writer/director parents
Frank Langella’s 3/4ths face making more cents
than the rest of what went on in The Box
the road of The Road
Almodóvar meets & Magritte
Matt Damon in Eddie Murphy white face
& we’ll have whatever Nic Cage was having in Bad Lt

Welcome To The House, Dolls

Naturi Naughton

Notorious

Jaime Winstone

+ the other 2 fit women of Donkey Punch

Tracey Heggins

Medicine For Melancholy

Holly Valance

Taken

Jocelin Donahue

He’s Just Not That Into You + The House of The Devil

Julianna Guill
Danielle Panabaker
& Willa Ford

Friday the 13th

李小璐
aka Li Xiao Lu
aka Jacqueline Li
aka Lu Lu

Push

Brooke Nevin

Sherman’s Way

Margarita Levieva

Adventureland

Ellary Porterfield

Sugar

Nora Arnezeder

Paris 36 (Faubourg 36)

Gal Gadot

4 Fast 4 Furious

Collette Wolfe

Observe and Report

Nicole Beharie

American Violet

Zoe Saldana

Star Trek & Avatar

Rachel Nichols

Star Trek & GI Joe: Rise of Cobra

Jessica Mas

Rudo y Cursi

Amber Heard

The Informers

Cameron Goodman

The Informers

Kimberley Nixon

Easy Virtue

Carmen Ejogo

Away We Go

Dominique McElligott

Moon

Isabel Lucas

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Minka Kelly

(500) Days of Summer

Katheryn Winnick

Cold Souls

Léa Seydoux

Inglourious Basterds

Jennifer Merrill

Taking Woodstock

Krista Allen

The Final Destinastion (3-D)

Paula Patton

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Beatrice Rosen

2012

Lily Collins

The Blind Side

Keri Lynn Pratt

A Single Man

Jenna Gavigan

A Single Man

Leonie Benesch

A Single Man

Alden Ehrenreich

Tetro

Sasha Grey

The Gross Experience

&

Alexandre & Philippe Haussmann

2012

Movies To Look
For In The ‘010

Ben-Hymn
Motel For Frogs
First House On The Right
Landland, starring Jesse Eisenberg
We Hate You I Love You Beth Cooper
The Year of Living Johnny Dangerously
Unnecessary Musica
l Released In December
Untitled Generic Christmas Movie
The Men Who Stare At Goatees
9 Fast, 9 Furious
lookin for a second opinion?
papa Thigh Master weighs in!

Daddy’s Long Legs
& His 13teenies

1. Hurt Locker
2. Avatar
3. Good Hair
4. An Education
5. Okuribito (Departures)
6. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
7. Etz Limon (The Lemon Tree)
8. L’heure d’été (Summer Hours)
9. Captain Abu Raed
10. Goodbye Solo
11. Adam
12. Away We Go
13. Everybody’s Fine
don’t forget to peep out our
’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Charlotte Gainsbourg
The Bell House
January 20th

Was this really Serge Gainsbourg‘s daughter’s second concert performance EVER???? It certainly showed at times, with her trademark shyness in play, but she’d also gain confidence along the way and let her lovely quiet voice float high above the juxtaposed hard rhythms her temporary back-up band banged out. Most of what was heard came from her Beck aided 3rd album, IRM, and while Beck wasn’t on hand, and would have probably been a distraction had he been, you could feel his presence in the air. Charlotte’s tiny loud music may not be destined to rawk stadiums around the world, and so this smaller venue was a wise choice, as it perfectly suited her stylings, although we kinda wish we were seated the entire time. We wish for a lot of things, such as wishing we could remove the image ingrained on our brain of CG cutting her vagina to kibbles and bits in LVT’s Antichrist. Gross!!!!!!!!!!!! And as a minused boo-nus, here she is in Antichrist NSFW fingerbanging herself like there was no tomorrow. So not hawt!!!

The Swell Season
Radio City Music Hall
January 19th

The Swell Season were Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová, you know, them star crossed busking lovers from Once. Yep, that’s ‘were’, not ‘are’ cause they aint no longers a duo only (also, they’re no longer an item). Hansard is also a part of band called The Frames and while he was off gettin famous with the quiet Czech girl, the rest of his ye olde band were sitting back in Ireland gettin filled with ire, and so Glennie incorporated the group into the Swell Season so they can join in on the riches and stop bitchings, or whatevs, but it doesn’t really matter who’s apart of the SS (damn Nazis!) cause this is Hansard’s show alone, and everyone else be merely puppets in his play of unexpected stardom. And while he and she (and them) are humble pie about the magnitude of going from zeroes to heroes, Glen also basks in his own glory, maybe juss a wee bit too much (his storytelling also carries on a weeeee bit too much). Not to say that he can’t, cause the dude is sortanlee gifted and talented (their/his follow-up Strict Joy is a… strict joy!! and sounded even more so live), but constantly asking your audience to sing along to yer songs when they probably wouldn’t in the first place is quite telling of how Glen views his own place in the world of music. He pours his heart and soul into every note, and while none of those notes are false, not all of them ring true. True or false? Huh? Dunno, but for the moist part, all was swell that ends swell, and we’re still holding out for Twice

setlist + mo pics over at BV

Röyksopp – Junior | Karen O And The Kids – Where The Wild Things Are Soundtrack | Unofficial Eastbound & Down Soundtrack | Flight of The Conchords – I Told You I Was Freaky | Fantastic Mr Fox Soundtrack | Lily Allen – It’s Not Me, It’s You | U2 – No Line On The Horizon | Air – Love 2 | Muse – The Resistance | The Swell Season – Strict Joy | Moby – Wait For Me | Jean-Benoit Dunckel – Cyprien Soundtrack

*out of a total of 12.31 albums that we listened to in the ‘009. yep, wees still far removed from today’s music, but we’re old and don’t have time for Lady Pupugaga and new things and stuff and don’t have a clue as to who 99.99% of the bands being Brooklyn Veganed about be, but no sweat off our backs cause this was a banner year for us in concerting (see below), as we took in 2 out of the top 3 shows we hath ever seen, and some of the others may go down in herstory as top 20ers, which is really saying something, but we’re not really saying anything, and if you know anything about music, yer probably not getting yer music knowledge here, but whatevs.net

Flight of the Conchords + Kristen Schaal @ Radio City Music Hall
Travis @ Webster Hall
Franz Ferdinand @ Roseland Ballroom
Leonard Cohen @ Radio City Music Hall
Phish @ Jones Beach
Fleetwood Mac @ MSG
Fatboy Slim @ Terminal 5
Blur @ Hyde Park!!!!!
Paul McCartney @ Shea II
Paul McCartney @ FedEx Field
Moby @ 9:30 Club and Irving Plaza
U2 @ Giants Stadium
Davy Jones @ BB Kings
Brian Wilson @ Bergen PAC
The 25th Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Anniversary Concerts – Night 1 @ MSG
The 25th Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Anniversary Concerts – Night 2 @ MSG
An Evening with Fran Healy and Andy Dunlop from Travis @ Joe’s Pub
Röyksopp @ Webster Hall
Matisyahu @ Sixth & I Synagogue
Phish @ MSG
Fiery Furnaces @ Bowery Ballroom

the past is the passed

’08
’07
’06
’05
’04
’03

in closing there waz one album, which was born in 1966 and wasn’t studio completed until 2004, that (shlong-overduedly) ruled our ears for all of 2009 and will until the dayz wees thighs dies: Brian Wilson – SMiLE. own it, rip it, d-lode it, love it