Thighs Wide Shut

we wanna lick Jane Taylor‘s eyes (and thighs) [NSFW]

Lucy Pinder in Nuts, topless. guess ’09 gonna be a lot like ’08 [NSFW]

This is what it sounds like when dolls cry [NSFW]

How does ejaculation work? [SFW]

CumOnEileen.com [NSFW]

when The Post mixes with the Bruno in the mix bowl that be our brains, you get our anal-ual this thing…

OUT	IN
Caroline Kennedy	Kennedy Fried Chicken
Bailouts	Christian Bale’s annoying Batman voice
JJ ABRAMS	ee cummings
Blair & Chuck	Chuck & Buck
One-Eyed Willy	Chilly Willie The Penguin
Twist Endings	Twistys.com*
Blur reunion rumors	an actual Blur reunion
Chipotle Farts	Nick Nolte’s Farts
The American Recession	The Vienna Secession
Tainted Love	Tainted Taints
girls wanting more SATC	girls wanting more nut sack
Keith David	David Keith
The Bermuda Triangle	The Triangle Below Canal Street
Saucer Eyes	Saucer Thighs
Frost/Nixon	Nixon/Frost
Men Who Look Like Lesbians	Lesbians Who Look Like Thespians
hating Boston sports	hating Boston Baked Beans
riding Eeyore	riding Jillian Beyor*
The US Open	The US Closed
Zooey Deschanel	Zoe Kazan
Wii The People	X-Box Munching
Thighs Wide Shut	Pies Chide Smut
David Foster Wallace	Dee Wallace
Zardoz	Zubaz
She Hate Me	He Hates These Cans
Whitney Port	Port Wine Cheese
going off on a tangent	going on off a cosine
Katy Perry	Perry Katie
Nazi-Themed Movies	Yahtzee-Themed Movies
Pinkberry	Tackleberry
$5 foot longs	$4.99 foot longs
The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again	The Apple Dumpling Gang Bangs, Again

* denotes NSFWness

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ‘006, the ‘007 and the ‘008

and here’s what was in/out back in 1994

[Visual Culture and Health Posters]

Revolutionary Road
The Suburban Jungle
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

April (Kate Winslet) and Frank Wheeler (Leonardo DiCaprio) and their two kids move out to a sunny home in the suburbs in hopes of achieving the American dream. What they didn’t realize was that it was going to be a total nightmare (including dinner parties with some overly friendly/annoying neighbors played by rising star David Harbour and perky Kathryn Hahn) and a place where all their dreams would die. Sam Mendes reunites the Titanic pair (and his wife), along with Kathy Bates (what, was Billy Zane not available?), in the screen adaptation of Richard Yates‘ celebrated novel of the same name (one we actually read before we saw the film), and this time the ship is their relationship, well on its way to hitting an iceberg… several icebergs. April comes up with the crazy idea of moving the family to France in hopes of reigniting their passion for life and love. No one they know takes the idea seriously, and after Frank’s rise at the company he can’t stand and April’s unwanted pregnancy, they begin to agree that it may be a fruitless venture. The price of their shattered dreams is their love, and its undoing is udderly heartbreaking. Good thing then that everyone, including the film itself is an absolute thing of (50s American) beauty, as everything else goings on is purty darns ugly. Winslet is stellar as always, and DiCaprio finally has material that perfectly suits his boyish becoming mannish traits, but the performance that grabs the most attention is Michael Shannon‘s, who as Bates’ psychologically damaged son seems to be the only one able to see through everyone’s rosy exteriors, straight to their dismal interiors. Like with Viola Davis in Doubt, Shannon’s work is brief, but unforgettable. They both could easily walk away with Oscars, but then again, wees aint they ones handing them out. Rev Road aint nuttin revolutionary (it’s like Mad Men, with equal amounts of smoking, but less sex and more yelling), and even if the road traveled is a little too bumpy to be fully enjoyed, the drive is juss too scenic to pass up

Behind Blue Eyes: now that baby blue-eyed cutie pie Zooey Deschanel‘s been snapped up by Mr Death Cab For Cutie, we’re transferring all our love to another baby blue-eyed cutie pie, Elia Kazan‘s granddaughter Zoe Kazan (she plays an airy NSFW secretary that DiCaprio lets sharpen his pencils)… that is until she ties the knot with her hipster man, Paul Dano

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Good
The Good/Bad German
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Good is a film based on CP Taylor‘s 1981 play that is not great and not bad, but juss plain ole good. It stars Viggo Mortensen as a writer whose novel about euthanasia catches the eye of the Third Reich. They want him to write a medical paper on the subject, and also for him to join their ranks. He really isn’t interested in their politics, but they assure/shut him up by giving him an honorary title that will satisfy both parties. As Viggo’s career keeps on rising, and as he becomes accustomed to a better life (with beauty Jodie Whittaker in hand) he starts to turn a blind eye to his former ideals and his Jewish friend (Jason Isaacs). By the time he wakes up and smells the Sanka, it’s too late to be good anymore. Today marks the release of Good as well as Defiance (eventually to be reviewed when eventually seen), cause nothing ends a year on a thigh note quite like yet another Nazi-themed film. Good is also the last of them Nazi films this year that shares the view of the victimizers, following The Reader and The Boy In The Striped Pajamas. All three shed a well welcomed different light on a familiar topic, and all three are worth your peeperers. So where do Nazi-themed movies go from here? How about on a vacation, as wethinks we could all use a break from never forgetting

Trap The Fly Venus: Whittaker first turned heads and thighs opposite Peter O’Toole as the title character in Venus. Peep how her butt stacks up against Velásquez’s original

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Good joins Rev Road currently playing in limited release

stay tuned for our wrap-pup of all things filmatic from the year that was ‘008

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Curious Case of
Benjamin Button
Sew What?
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Yes, the idea of reverse aging is engaging. Yes, the special effects were both special and effective. Yes, the whole thing was gorgeous that we us gorged on it. Yes, that was one of the mos paramount uses of the Paramount logo (outside of Indiana Jones land). Yes, David Fincher is a Goliath of directing (and yes, he made the greatestestest movie of 2007). Butttz his ambitious 2008 project is simply that, ambitious and too much more. We hath questions. Why o’ y did it take 17 years in Tibet to tell a love story between a normally aging female (Cate Blanchett) and Mr Button (Brad Pitt), who’s slowly headed to diaperdom? Who’s able to invest any emotion in the said love story when mold grows on yer taint by the time where we’re actually suppose to invest our emotions? Movie needs a bailout more than GM. There’s too much sense-non leading up to that cruxy bit where our age-crossed lovers finally meet with Dick Goesinya. What’s that tugboat crap all about? It was more lost at sea than the entire pointlessness of Life Aquatic w/Steve Snoozesoo. Why does Buttons wastes his time and ours by trying to bed Wes Anderson? How comes the dude who got strucks by lightening 7 times has a life 7 times more curious than Benji? What’s the story with throwing Hurricane Katrina into the story? Where’s Julia Ormond been all our lives? How is it that Elle Fanning is slowly becoming a betterer version of her sister Dakota? Why did the guy who wrote the screenplay for Forrest Gump basically write a not as good Forrest Gump, and in turn toss aside the juicy elements from F Scott Fitz’s original short story? Wasn’t this movie better when it was called Big Fish (a thighly underrated flick)? How come we never get an explanation as to Ben’s backwards ways? Why didn’t Fincher juss make this a 90 minute movie and make Zodiac a 19 hour movie? And moist importantly, what has Kuato been doings to pass the thyme in between his Total Recall and Curious gigs?

The Watch, Man!: you’ll be more entertained by looking at this classic backwards Goofy watch (a watch we once owned as a kid) than by watching Ben Butt age backwards

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Ben B is currently playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Young Alyssa Milano Pics LQ

and for the ladies/other kindsa mens:

Danny Pintauro’s NSFW junk and super happy fun hole