Thighs Wide Shut

Naomi

equals WATTAGE!

Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!

son of Thoma

dats right!

Marsha Thomason!

Observe and Report
Pat Down & Bound
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

What’s with all this broo-ha-ha about Observe & Report being too dark? Are all comedies suppose to be lame and tame ala anything by Judd Apatow, or any comedy that seems like it’s from his fingertips? Guess that’s what people eggspect and want when they see the name Seth Rogen on a marquee, but if you ask us, we need less stuff from Apatown and more stuffs from O&R‘s writer/director Jody Hill. If you swooned to his Danny McBride anti-hero comi-tragedies The Foot Fist Way on the big screen or Eastbound & Down on the little screen, then you will do the same with his latest, which basically substitutes McBride with Rogen… and although we’re starting to warm to Rogen, we woulda loved to have seen how this mall cop affair woulda played out with McBest in the uniform and golf cart (how it compares to that other mall cop movie, we haven’t a clue, but these guys do, so hopefully that will answer that). The tone is in line with Pineapple Express, yet unlike PE, O&R delivers actual laffs that you don’t have to be high for… even if those laffs kinda disappear in the third act when this movie turns into a bona fide film. Same cannot be said of Judd’s duds (save Knocked Up). And you know you got something worth seeing on yer hands eyes when Ray Liotta is the kinda annoying that doesn’t annoy you and Anna Faris isn’t the funniest thing on screen. Gotta give some kudos to Michael Peña for trying something different, even if we felt a bit indifferent to it. Don’t fear the dark side folks, and feel free to cop a feel this wannabe cop!

We Wanna See Her Sheep’s Clothing: meat Collette Wolfe and her adorable chipmunk cheeks!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Obvs & Repo is currently playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Fast & Furious
Not So Fast and/or Furious
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

We knew going into the definite article-less Fast & Furious that it wasn’t going to be a David Lean film, but this mindless entertainment wasn’t even close to being as mindless or entertaining as it needed to be. You’d think a fourth installment of anything would constitute everything gettin bigger and badder, so why throw yer thirsty audience something weaker and worser? There be many things mad wrong with this movie, and it really has nothing to do with Paul Walker‘s lack of acting chops or his crisps or Vin Diesel‘s ribbed shirts, for her pleasure. There’s way too much pointless plotting (leave the drug cartel bidness bustin up to Crockett & Tubbs) and way too few car chases and crashes. We don’t care about the drivers, we care about what they’re driving, and the skinny bizatches who get wet when they’re revved up. Speaking of, there was way too little Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster lesbian shower scenes. Actually there were none, but that doesn’t piss us off as much as the wrongest thing about this whole thing: the film wasn’t called 4 Fast 4 Furious. No one takes this shiz seriously, so why not name it 4F4F? As a franchise looking to the future, The Fast & The Furious mos def has wheels, albeit ones that looks mighty tiresome. Hopefully they’ll get it right next time, and at least call it 5 Fast 5 Furious

Gal Pal: meat Gal Gadot, a former Ms Israel who be mad ga-hot!!!

Verdictgo: not sirprizing, but nonetheless still disappointed that it’s Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

4 Fast 4 Furious is currently playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

+ hotties in gif form galore

frynally, some hottie ar$ed pics of Sundance darling and longtime Cutie Pie Wide Shuter Carey Mulligan

[Starworks]