Thighs Wide Shut

1nce again from the stream of the wonderful stephhhd

merry belated 42nd birthday Mia Sara

Mia Sara’s merry birthday suit [NSFW]

Mia was once merry married to Sean Connery’s son Jason, and now she dizzle dazzles with Jim Henson’s son Brian

the art of Erik Johansson + interview

Conan and the house of shoddy wax figures + redux

sounds like Mutt Williams & The Topiary Garden of Wisdumb (aka Indy 5) is a go. booooooooooooo

Lady Liberty reopens her crown to the public starting July 4th. you can now reserve tickets in advance for the pleasure of getting all up in her [NYology]

wacko lady who claims the Zodiac was her stepdad, also claims she’s the illegitimate daughter of JFK. rumor has it that she was also Bigfoot’s lover, Howard Hughes’ manicurist, and the cause of the Chernobyl meltdown

Which A-List Stars Have Never Made a Sequel?

David Bowie & son used to watch a pirated copy of Star Wars on U-matic tapes over and over

the real Battle of the Bulge, from the wonderful newish site Iconic Photos

London’s best burgers look like America’s wurst

Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann is like Remo Williams meets Daft Punk meets Excitebike meets Back To The Future III meets Lynn Swann meets crap on a stick

‘Ardman Vests [pakula shaker]

the right to arm bears [poster’s avatar is NSFW, everything else is SFW and bears]

&

stephhhd’s photostream via con FFFFOUND!
(which is currently our mos flavorite site nick goings)

Moon
A Space Multiplicity Oddity
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Moon is 2001 with a lot more talking, and besides a few video transmissions from Earth, the only voices we hear are Kevin Spacey‘s, as a monotone robot (big stretch for him), and Sam Rockwell‘s, and… Sam Rockwell’s (a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich?). You hear Rockwell’s twice cause there ends up being two of Sam’s character in Duncan Jones‘ feature debut (we won’t explain why there are two cause where’s the fun in that?). So lettuce hope yer a big fan of Rockwell, and if you are, yer in for a treat cause as always, he rocks well, but this time twice as rocking… well! Jones is the son of David Bowie, the man who made space travel sound so lonely with his song about Major Tom, and like father, he’s made his own desolate space oddity, visually, and visually stunning at that. The sets, costumes, machinery, et al, owe a lot of debt to the original odyssey of 2001, + all of its 70s imitators, and it’s this throwback aesthetic that makes Moon stand out from today’s other space flicks. The poster even launches higher than most others, so eat it Space Cowboys and Apatow, who will probably make a space ‘comedy’ starring Ken Jeong about the first disgruntled Asian-American in space. Anywho, Moon‘s a trip, and spooky and mesmerizing, and kinda a make-up call for the fun, but bumpy ride that was the cinematic version of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Tell Me Wife I Love Her Very Much She Knows: Rockwell’s Earth wife is played by cutie pie mcgee and apparently mcelligott Dominique McElligott

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Food, Inc.
There Will Be Beef
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle was a revelation. Food, Inc is not (neither was the movie version of talking head Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation). What, you didn’t know that the meat produced in this country is disgusting, from the way they ( ‘they’ being a handful of companies that ‘control’ the ‘industry’) feed the animals, to the way they treat them, to the way they slaughter them, to the way they process the meat, to the way they hire poor immigrant laborers to improperly handle it, to the way they have their hands all up in the pockets of the government (name one industry that doesn’t), to the way it finally gets packaged and sent to our grocery stores and restaurants and ultimately into our mouths? It has to get there somehow, doesn’t it? Sure it’s gross, and of course there are better ways to deliver quality and safe meats, as the movie points out, but to be brutally honest, we don’t care. If it aint baroque, don’t fix it. We mean, we don’t care if 34893294 zillion chickens had to be tortured in order to make fried chicken taste so forkin good. Seriously. Sure, we’re in the wrong here, but like with Super Size Me, all the doc did was reinforce our love of the meat that we’re already being force-fed. To hell with Apatow, cause we’ll eat it ourselves!

2 Die For: this probably needs to be updated a bit (Amy Ruth’s > Ms Mamie’s Spoonbread), but long live our Places To Eat B4 U Die list, which is loaded with greasy spoon spots that use gross meat. so be it!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Moon opens today in NY/LA only, while Food does the same + eats it in SF as well

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Tetro
American Zoetrope Beauty
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

A ship docks in Buenos Aires and a young man decked out in a crisp white uniform disembarks and walks amongst the dark shadows of the city’s streets. He doesn’t speak the language. Holds no currency. He is a foreign man. He is surrounded by the sound. Don’t call him Al, call him Bennie (fresh, yet classic faced Alden Ehrenreich… more on him below), and whatever you do, don’t call Bennie’s long lost and now found brother anything but Tetro (a marvelously grumpy Vincent Gallo). Tetro isn’t so happy to see his brother and he’s in no real huge hurry to describe eggzactly why, other than the obvious fact that he wants nothing to do with his family, and in particular, their manipulative, impossible to please composer patriarch (Klaus Maria Brandauer, this time without an arcade filled with Centipede). While gloom and doom are the way of Tetro’s walk, there’s sunshine emitting from everyone else, from his girlfriend (the radiant Y tu mama Maribel Verdú) and his bohemian pals (including Motorcycle Diaries‘ energetic Rodrigo De la Serna and Almodóvar muse Carmen Maura… her part was originally suppose to be played by Almodóvar’s male muse, Javier Bardem), and the impressionable Bennie soaks it all up, maturing with every ray. This is juss the base of the cake, and the rest of the story is theatrical icing that’s too sweet and luscious to divulge, or to pass up on

Did we mention that this is Francis Ford Coppola‘s first original screenplay since 1974’s The Conversation, his second ever black & white feature (with splashes of color, and also about sibling rivalry) after Rumble Fish, and is easily beeslyily his finest work since The Rainmaker Jack Captain EO (double dare we say) Apocalypse Now? That’s wright folks, Coppola is EFFIN and TREFFEFFELIN back yo [note: we didn’t see his richard prior, Youth Without Youth], and finally pulling the spotlight away from his over-lauded daughter. Sum of you will disagree (the critics are already mixed) and find Tetro to be boring, pretentious, superfluous, or all three (even we felt a bit of each at times), but you cannot deny the effort and passion that he poured onto this gorgeous canvas, to make a more personal piece of work that’s an absolute treasure. It’s perhaps the greatestest student film ever made, which happens to be made by a true student of film. George Lucas has talked a good game about making flicks juss like this, but at this point in time he’s probably incapable of doing so (he may be ‘independent’, but he’s far from being an independent filmmaker). Coppola no longer has to prove anything to anyone (that’s the kinda carte blanche that The Godfathers give ya, even with all the crap he’s churned out beyond the mid-80s), yet like the subtitle of Lucas’ Episode IV, Tetro is putting on display a new hope. The force is strong with this one, and we certainly hope that Coppola’s empire keeps striking back

Mazel Toast: this hottie space is usually guy free, but why would we want to be free of this guy? Alden Ehrenreich looks like DiCaprio and Tom Brady’s lovechild, talks like Matt Damon, acts like he’s cooler than Chris Cooley, and is 100% awesome. if you need an eggcuse to see Tetro, he’s it. Alden’s discovery as an actor is the stuff of Hollywood urban legend (ala Lana Turner). supposedly he appeared in a home movie that played at a Bat Mitzvah that happened to be attended by none other than Steven Spielberg, who was so taken by the heartthrob’s performance that he got em a screen test with the DreamWorks casting peeps. the rest, as they sorta say, is history… in the making

bi the gay, is this really his voice on Mazel Tov Cocktail? sadly it’s NOT the starmaking Bat Mitzvah vid, which we would die and thigh to see

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Tetro opens today in NY/LA only, and elsewhere, elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Away We Go
There’s No Place Like Finding Home
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Less than half a year after Sam Mendes delivered his glum suburban family falls apart near-miss masterpiece that was Revolutionary Road, Mr Winslet is already back in theaters, dropping a sorta anti-Rev Road, where a family is falling together. The Kate/Leo combo guaranteed a surefire fire, but the pairing of soon to be parents John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph doesn’t provide as much of a spark, even if they both hand in solid individual performances. Rudolph in particular shines brighter, and that’s mainly due to the fact that we’ve rarely seen her do anything else but be silly on SNL. Krasinski Halpert isn’t eggzactly the king of range (the beard doesn’t hide a thing), but he’s the perfect everyman, which most guys my age can easily project themselves onto. Plus it’s hard for us to see him make smiley faces with someone else other than Pammy. It’s hactually hard for us to see anyone make smilies with Pammy other than ourselves. Anywho, the two pregger mcgees are looking for a place to call home, so… AWAY WE GO!!!

And go they do, meeting with friends and family across the country (and Montreal), which not only helps them to finger out where to hang their hat, but also finger out what kind of parents they want to be, and most importantly, what kind of parents they don’t want to be. Bad examples are everywhere, from Jim’s soon to be Belgium bound selfish parents (cute, but a tad too quirky Catherine O’Hara and Jeff Daniels), to old workmates with no tact (a bit overdone Allison Janney and the always fun Jim Gaffigan), to a childhood friend that redefines nutty granola (Franken Berry’s alter ego Maggie Gyllenhaal and Josh Hamilton), and college pals with a rainbow family that isn’t exactly all rainbows (Chris Messina and Melanie Lynskey… who was Winslet’s co-star in Peter Jackson’s heavenly Heavenly Creatures). Written by the hubby & wife literary darlings team of Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, the whole road trip feels more like a collection of short stories than a complete movie. Yet in the end, after our hopeful couple leaves everyone behind, hangs up their hat, and their new life is about to begin, it feels complete. It’s minor Mendes, but not everything he does has to be Revolutionary

Wright On: we totally heart Jeffrey Wright’s real life wifey Carmen Ejogo, who plays Maya’s sistah in Go

many mo snaps hear

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Away We Go is currently playing in NY/LA only and will expand to other away places this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…