The Irishman
Unionfellas
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 210 min

There is MUCH to praise about Marty’s latest grand spicy meatball (unbelievable sets and costumes!  DeNiro is best when he is quiet!  Pacino is even bester when he’s loud!  And dancing with women!!  Tommy The Tit IS the tits!!  Lums!!!  that’s what happened to Jimmy Hoffa??  Do I still need to see the Jack Nicholson Hoffa now??  The ‘I know you’re up to no good‘ stare of the young daughter that eventually grows up to become the ‘I know you’re up to no good‘ stare of Anna Paquin!).  And there is little to dismiss.  Sure, it doesn’t pack the intense dramatic swings and badda-blams that Goodfellas or Casino did, and yeah, the runtime isn’t fully justified – the last half hour needed to be condensed into about 3 minutes, but I’m not here for any of this.  I’m here to mention one thing…

Joe Pesci unforgettably played eerily-eye-browed conspirator David Ferrie in Oliver Stone’s JFK

and in The Irishman, Joe Pesci does not play David Ferrie (a guy named Louis Vanaria does), but he namechecks Ferrie as someone DeNiro needs to meet up with – ‘a fairy named Ferrie‘

and this full circledness is my (movie world) everything

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Irishman gets lucky on your Netflixing machines 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Michael J. Pollard by Dick Darrell for the Toronto Star, July 13, 1973

Last Christmas
Wham! Bam! Mostly No Thank You Ma’am?
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 103 min

For 18/19ths of this movie (which I brought an infant in a stroller to!!!  BEST DAD EVER), I was like, this is worse than a Hallmark Christmas movie!!!!  THERE’S NOT EVEN A SINGLE GAZEBO IN THIS FILM!!!  AND MICHELLE YEOH, WTF??  WHY ARE YOU SUCH A SOURPUSS PRISS IN EVERY MOVIE NOW (co-starring Henry Golding)?????  GO AWAY MICHELLE YEOH!!!!  Crazy BITCH Asian, amirite????

But then a twist happens around the 18/19th mark and the plot is revealed to be the lyrics to the title Wham! track and I was like, WOAH!  THIS MOVIE IS NO LONGER AWFUL!  It’s a joy!!! And hey, look, there’s Andrew Ridgley!!  Who sadly was not dressed up like this…

or this

Jitterbug!

Verdictgo: NOT AWFUL!

Chistmas Lasts at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Sharon Tate and Roman Polanski set up barber shop at the 21st Cannes Film Festival, 1968. photos by Jack Garofalo [more]

biggest waste of a genius movie idea (by me)

Rip Taylor

as 

Monopoly’s Rich Uncle Pennybags

R.I.P. Rip.  sadly my movie dream died with you :(