Bore Hollywood Bore

Battle: Los Angeles
District Zzzzzzzz
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

There are worser alien invasion movies than Battle: Los Angeles, but that doesn’t mean for a second that B:LA is anything above blah.  In fact, B:LA is one of the more boring alien invasion movies we’ve seen in quite awhile.  If we don’t have anything nice to say, we can at least say that B:LA is not as boooooo as 2012 was.  At least B:LA doesn’t dwell too much on having us care about its characters, cause these characters have no character!!!!  And we’re stuck with them the entire time.  You might not even realize that there are aliens in this movie.  Gunfire seems to come out of nowhere, over and over.  And when we do get glimpses of the aliens, they are the least menacing movie aliens in the bidness.  They’re like disposable beings with no purpose, stuck in some easy video game that a 3 year old could play, but shouldn’t bother playing.  We never find out what their true intentions are or really anything about them.  How can we even hate on these aliens if we don’t know shiz about em???

Poor Aaron Eckhart. And why put Bridget Moynahan in this movie if Eckhart doesn’t get a chance to bone her, or at least watch her shower.  And what a waste of Michael Peña and his mustache’s time.  And do you think Michelle Rodriguez every worries about being a one dimensional actor, stuck on automatic in two dimensional movies, and with Avatar, the occasional three dimensional movie?  Oh, and Ne-Yo is in this, but it doesn’t matter who’s in this cause you should juss say Hell-No to this

Chinning: the whole time we were watching this, our mind was elsewhere, still focused in on the chinternet

Verdictgo: Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Little Merit AND No Stinkin Badges (why any merit tat all?  cause it’s not 2012)

you wont love LA today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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