Sit, Stand & Deliver

Slice Dreams

After plowing thru a slice of the Double R’s infamous cherry pie Special Agent Dale Cooper remarked, ‘This must be where pies go when they die‘ [wav]. Had Coop made his way into the deep south, he probably woulda stripped that declaration from the Twin Peaks staple and applied it to Waitress‘ Joe’s Pie Diner. Seriously folks, I have never seen pie, let alone any food for that splatter, look so fargin delicious on screen before. I guarantee that when you leave the theater, you will eat pie (baked or hair). If inanimate objects had their own Oscar category, dem pies would be the biggest shoo-in since carbon rod took home a Bestest Inanimate Object Emmy back in the ’94. So besides pies with zany names, what else is on the menu? Oh, how bout, the scrumptious final work of slain indie darling Adrienne Shelly, proof that Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion can carry a film, verification that Andy Griffith is not dead, further authentication that no one plays a prick better than Jeremy Sisto, and confirmation that Cheryl Hines makes a fuglier waitress than Alice‘s Flo. Waitress aint no fine dining, but whatever your tastes, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this home cooked meal

Whip It Good: US2Gay has the recipe for ‘I Can’t Have No Affair Because It’s Wrong and I Don’t Want Earl to Kill Me’ Pie

Pies Wide Slut: the only ‘pie diner’s I could find in the US were Shoofly in the Noise of ILL and Chicken in Cali

Apt MPupil3: Warrant‘s crotchlicious ‘Cherry Pie‘ [d|vid]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers•

Year of The Dog
Bordering on Pawful

If you’ve ever seen Chuck & Buck you already know that writer/actor/and now director Mike White isn’t your average joe. Yet, outside of C&B his output is just plain… average. While I’m a big fan of his penned The Good Girl, there’s not too much to write home about about School of Rock, Nacho Libre, Orange County and his directorial debut, Year of The Dog. Dog is not a bad movie, but it’s not really something that needs to be shown in theaters either. There’s juss nothing really goings on there. Hell, the ‘drama’ that’s thrown between the II and IIIrd acts that turns into a message in the end reeks of desperation to juss have something goings on there. Tis quite a shame, since all the performances are quite good, including lead Molly Shannon who’s finally ready to erase Mary Katherine Gallagher from peep-hole’s noggins. If White really wanted to make a cutesy flick where you can turn off your mind, relax and float down stream, he shoulda expanded on the best scenes where Shannon tends to 15 dogs simultaneously. That’s more comic gold than having Regina King be queen of your laff factory

Bestest Screen Replacement for Mike White Mt Everest: Josh Pais

Play It Again Sam: yesh, that lappy go hucky song that you hear towards the end is also the same one used in Thigh favs Napoleon Dynamite AND It’s All Gone Pete Tong. Tits called ‘Music For A Found Harmonium‘ [d] and its originally by The Penguin Cafe Orchestra

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges•

Friday we’ll review one of our mos flavorite flicks of the year that isn’t about a serial killer. Stay tuned!!! Until then, the balcony is clothed…

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