The St. Valentine’s Day Mascara

From the First Family of Thighs, to all of Jews, OUR DEAR READERS AND DIRT BAGS LOOKING FOR HOT SNAPS OF HOT BIZATCHES ON THE GOOGLES, we heart you!!!

The SnoozeYork Times have finally caught on to this whole Camilla Belle (aka Her Royal Thighness VII) jizznomenom. Too bad they have standards and aren’t allowed to talk about drawing maps of Hawaii all over themselves in print.

And while James Blunt is busy putting on bigger maneuvers than Lando at the battle of Taanab on Princess Leia, the rest of the galaxy sends their love

[SumTang Awfully good via
Tom Wellington]
Me, Medium-Sized? I’m long overdue to be SUPER THIGHS MEed!!!

Too bad Cliff Engle sweaters don’t come in super size, but sometimes tight will fit juss right, hispecially if you have big tits like me!

Hilton Shortlisted To Play Teresa Role!?!??!E#!!!

Katie Danza > Samantha Micelli, unless we’re talkin bout NSFW Samantha Micelli

Cuthbest, Soul Man, fake JFK, the mother from Poltergeist, Leland Palmer, Robocop, and Mike Figgis’ male muse. No this isn’t Surreal Life 2112, juss the breast that’s yet to cum all overourshelves on the 2nd half of this season’s killah hills 24!!! And soapfully President Logan won’t have to make any more big decisions!!

Falkor’s sister still a go for Hexxx, but no word on a soundtrack by Bubba Sparxxx, Basment Jaxx, anything off of Speakerboxxx, or the sounds of Zaxxon!!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is quacking rising the charts as the mos brills actor with a hyphenated name. First was the pillow biting bitterness of Mysterious Skin, and next up is the Lukas Haas-a-dickie-thon-ing of Brick!!! Had his former 10 Things I Hate About You co-star Heath Ledger co-starred with him in this, maybe they woulda called it BrickBack Mountain!! If that ends up on YouTube, I’m suing. And if I don’t get any money from that I’m going to cut off a finger and claim I found it in a bowl of chili from Wendy’s!!

A day after eggzalting the virtues and virgins of Lucas, I find out that it’s writer/director is penning the screenplay to the remake of my mos personal flavorite Hitchcock flick (that isn’t Psycho), Strangers On A Train. My right off the bat guano thoughts are that it won’t be as Vince Vile-able as GvanSant’s Psycho, but den again, it won’t even come close to matching the Anne Ramsey condom ribbed for all our pleasureness of the ’87 versh!! We don’t have a Cousin Paddy.

Props to the Mars Props. My money is totally on Sam Cassell to be the first to make it to the red planet!!!

Something tells me these people eat ham wrapped in bacon wrapped in Slim Jims covered in fur

The tATuers as kids, you sick fuck

and something from their Russian site

gawd dang, they really hates place!!

Bestest weekly sports article only WashPosters know about, but everyone else should: The Starting Lineup

From Buddy to Sufjan: The Music For Kids Who Can’t Read Good Covers Project


Oh, so that is what that is from [beware the audio via Dr Falada]

Is it ok to want both kinds of Pancake Mountain shirts?

Cartoon Skeletal Systems

An Analysis of Netflix’s DVD Allocation System [zzzz via Yachew! via Guns n Rosenthal]

The International Ginger Kids Foundation, where kids have firecrotches and worship Sissy Spacek [via Jim et Jules]

Trailer for the World’s Greatest Piece O’Crap Film Ever

Pencil in penis backfires

Bob’s Animal Fights [via DVD Author 2 On The Rocks]

Anyone else’s lips flaming?

When and Why Did Women Start Shaving Their Legs?
What Caused Women To Start Shaving Their Armpits?
Who Decided Women Should Shave Their Legs and Underarms?
Why question such practices? The more we talk about it the more likely they’ll stop and start being as dirty as men. I mean, they are godessesses who fart vanilla and poop roses, they’re our moms and daughters, our sisters, and our hobags, our sluts, and our gay PE teachers. Womens forever!!! But I think it’s aiiight to raise the question of shaving in the v region, right?

Too bad our German brethren and Lutherans hate woman and think think they’re totally helpless and want Abenteuer to DIE!! Look how they treated Elizabeth Shue in poster form compared to us fun loving Mohammed hating Americunts!!!!

Good thing they decided to write the rongs of their Nazi past, cause if the Shue fits, bang it!! Dutchovenland uber alles!

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