"I’m Gonna Live My Life(but not the wayyou want me to)"*

• Why all this hatin on Her Royal Thighness the I and III peoples? We thought you’d all understand that our love was deeper than your mother’s crotch area, but I guess I was plain or everything bagel wrong. Even when we made our first re-appearance together in public this morning, we got booed, boo-urnsed, bombarded with eggs & tomatoes, and even rolled in t.p. What did she ever do to you cept fill your head with dirty ideas and your tissues with flirty goo? And you want answers as to why her hair’s gross, she’s Christain Bale Machinist rail thin, and a complete skankbot? OK, the hair’s for a movie role, the weight is due to her rents messy divorce, and the skankyness was all a ploy for me to come back into her life and re-thigh-talize things. And whether you likes it or not, she aint going away. So who’s camping out with me until 2006, when the Untitled Nick Cannon Project gets released?
* lyrics from LL’s thumcredible hit song ‘Rumors’ [d-lode]


• Meanwhile, a very depressed former HRT the III candidate, Maria Sharapova, decided to soak her tears in hours of shopping and swimming!

• Rest in piece the fork out six-time Oscar nominee Ernest Lehman. For you gave us so much fine entertainment. You made the hills alive, made us a jet all the way, you couldn’t afford to waste good liquor, but yer career was always headed north and sometimes northwest. Now you and your body are headed south by southwest, to your family plot. We salute you… and your shorts.

• Bonus forker of peacing: June Haver ‘Cake n Eat It 2’, who was married to the guy with three sons and was the OG Girl Next Door

• Looking for all the good Live8 stuff that MTV denied you? Look no further [via Witzy]

• Leonardo DiCaprio must be out to get me. First he single-handedly made Howard Hughes look like… Leonardo DiCaprio, and now he wants to take a dump on the world’s finest humorist? Juss go back to acting like a retard in movies and we’ll love you forever.

• What? The girls couldn’t wait for a 3rd Predator movie?

• Another example of Cool Britannia: a secondary school putting on a production of A Clockwork Orange

• Rachel Ray in a black bikini

• The return of the Fake Dr Peeper website. Some say bigger than the Pink Floyd reunion.

• The King of Quarters

• Are you Hall or are you Oates? Take the test [via LieBio via S-boogah!]

• And although my heart beats to the sound of Lohan losing weight by the second, that doesn’t exclude others from sitting on my face being my mates of play. While my comment box has turned into the War of the Words, I’ve been jonesing for more War of the Worlds‘s Miranda ‘Hotto’ Otto. The Aussie saucy babe gets no respect in realms of hotness. Even Senor Spielbergo limited her screen time to all of 2 minutes!! She gets at least 3 minutes of my time every night before I go to sleep.

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