Like Father Like Son Likes Food

• Gawd blessed be my father. For we may have not had a lot in common when I was growings up (he sported a cottage-cheese collectin mustache, while I was terrified of facial hair. I lived for Jennie Garth, while he lived for Little Debbie). But times have certainly changed. He ditched the stache for a much butter barry peppered beard (or would that be brian peppersed beard?) and I rocked one myself, although I did flirt with a stache for a bit. And we both share a love for all things os-good: my mumsy, anything playing at a Landmark Theater, and the thing all us humans must do in order to live, eat. Cept him and I tend to go alpha-beta-gaga for anything considered junk/comfort/greasy food. I mean, the dude was raised midwestern style all up in White Castle & Steak ‘n Shake goodness. Which brings us to yesterday, Father’s Day. To my knowledgee, nothing had been planned. Then 2 weeks ago, I received a to-the-point email (as papa often drafts) detailing our plan: a progressive dinner consisting of wings and apps @ Hard Times, sangwhiches galore @ Roy’s Place (with over 200 to choose from!), and wrappin it up wit some soft-serve bestness at the DQ (which NYC is sadly lacking, along with 23477324 other ta-chings). I’m so proud to be your son, dad. And I was even more proud that I had room in my tummy after eating #118 from Roy’s (two Polish sausages wrapped in bacon, with broiled provolone cheese, buried in cole slaw & Russian dressing on French bread).

• Related: best place to buy gifts and other fine chotchkes for pa, ma, fa, la, and anyone else under the son in the MoCo area? Give Second Hand Rose a go. Next time I’m bringing my camera to show AND tell you all about it.

No more sap, and on with the crap!!!

• Could Coke Zero be the first official soft drink of Thighland? I’m sure Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper would have sum-tang to say about dat!! Insert second Brian Peppers ref here. Buy Brian Peppers tee there.

• Lohan’s ex-gynormo bazongas were NOT digitally reduced sez Herbie director. Either way, this will be the bounciest G-rated movie I’ve seen since Flubber.

• Sex Pistols the latest wasbeens to reunite for Live 8. Who’s next? My money is on ABBA, The Talking Heads, or Jesus and his 12 boyz… all of which will most likely never happen.

• Leonardo BiCaprio was attacked with beer bottle! No motive has been ascertained, although I suspect that the woman who did this was a die-hard Growing Pains fan, and was none too pleased with the addition of his character in the twilight years of the show. Don’t show her that smile again. [pic via DV]

• Alex Kapranos, of Archduke fame, was mistaken as a British spy and detained in Russia. Apparently he was trying to steal the secret plans on how to make those matryoshka/nesting dolls.

• What would 24 the movie be? 102… minutes?

• Want somebody to shove? Well, u can no longer add Soul Asylum bassist Karl Mueller to yer potential shovees cause the dude forked the peace runaway train outta town.

• The free paper that brings you ‘Spot the Drummer‘ (which has been fazed out of our Friday posts), brings you one of the longestest articles you ever did see about Matthew Lesko, the uber-annoying dude in the riddler suit who wants u to take free money from the g-mint. Who knew that he really does wear that suit everywhere and rides around town in a car tripped out in question marks??!?!?! [via My Man Marvelous]

• Enjoy the silence music

• Is ‘more raw and funky‘ the new ‘raw & the cooked‘?

• EW makes me boo, while RS makes me goo. I’m still waiting for Highlights to make me do something.

• How do you make a box of Tampax crazy/sexy/cool? Put the always adorable Kelly MacDonald in one.

• CBS News Sunday Morning‘s Bill Geist took a trip to Luling, Tejas’ Watermelon Thump, which includes a parade, beauty pageant, eating contest, and seed spitting competition. Unfortch, there was no link for the fat chick that could eat a watermelon in literally 25 or so seconds.

• Wanna torture someone you know? Take em to see Jurassic Park III fo free!

• I think Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did something last week.

• iPod shuffle mania!

• Cecil invetagates the origin of the term ‘missionary position‘, why the sound of fingernails scraping a blackboard is so annoying, and one I’ve been dying to know, why do women athletes tend to be flat-chested?

• And Ask Yahoo! answers, ‘Who invented the weekend?’

• Gary Coleman, still short

• I hate tomatoes, but I don’t think they’re evil.

• Exactitudes

• Brother gonna knock you out, the ani gif [via Guns n’ Rosenthal]

• And me beloveded alma matters, Richard Bestgomery, shit the bed against rival Walter Johnson in It’s Academic DC Championship. How sporking embarrassing for the 11th best high school in the nation to get a beat down from the 80th best. IB my ass. More like UB LOSERS, you shameful losers!! Seriously, what ever happened to Rocket Pride, Rocket Power? I’ll be sure to spit on the trophies next time I’m back. At least my pain was eased a bit by how great host Mac McGarry still looks after all these years of straight pimpin’.

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