MadamI’mAdam

• What to do this tweakend? Well, if you’re me, you beg and bribe one of yer breastest friends, with Popeyes Fried Chicken thighs and back rubs, into taking you to the secret Beck show. I’m lookin in yer direction MEGBOT! Or should I brown nose a lil and say ‘MegHOT’? C’mon, I got us into that secret Annie show last night at the Try-Becca Grand!! That was almost as rock out with cock outable as when we saw t.A.T.u. perform on Carson Daly!! But for the rest of you squares, esp you NYCers, please do not waste yer time seeing…

Palindromes
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Trailer

While Alexander Payne makes movies where you can identify with the characters and situations, Todd Solondz is on the other end of that spectrum. Solondz’es movies are filled with painful people, doing painful things, in the most painful situations that we all pray will never ever happen in our lifetimes. What is you forking deal bro? Did mumsy and daddy beat you with a sock filled with walnuts? Did your wicked uncle Ernie fiddle about with you? Out of his three previous flicks, Welcome To The Dollhouse, Happiness, and Storytelling, only that last one was remotely watchable, meaning I didn’t have to take 16 showers afterwards just to feel clean again. I was hoping that trend would continue here, but sadly (more like gladly) that was not the case. Solondz goes right back to ugliness that no one really needs to intake. Here’s the dreadful story this go around: an awkward young teenage girl named Aviva gets pregnant, parents force her to abort, then she runs away to discover… gawd knows what: pedophiles, religious crusaders, abortion doctor killahs, and a Partridge Familyesque collection of handicaps and mentally retarded kids. If that’s not enuff to make you slit yer eyes out w/out even seeing it, how bout the fact that the actress who plays Aviva, changes 7 or more times! First she’s a lil chubby black girl, then a dumpy white girl, then a skinny white girl with red hair, then some other white girl, then a huge-ass black girl, etc. and finally Jennifer Jason Leigh?!?!??? WTF? Egggzactly. Stay home and cut off your ears instead. That would be more enjoyable and you’d still have 10 bones in yer pocket.

Recommended for those who like: torturing themselves, the sound of fingernails on a chalk board, and Lyndie England’s hot bod.

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix any other movie in eggsistance as I guarantee it’ll be better. [repost from Rocktober]

Anywho…

• Word has it that TWO FF bands will be performing at this year’s fantabulos & free River 2 River concert series: The Fab Faux (Beatles tribute band) and nun other den, los Fiery Furnaces. [via Manic Messiah]

• Take a peep at the next Gus van Sant movie I won’t be sitting thru: Last Days. Michael Pitt the ‘actor’ as a quasi-Kurt Cobain? Break out the razors u juss used for Palindromes, cause our eyes will need slitting. How could this be Lukas Haaaasable? [via K-Pecker]

• Wanna more comprehesive review of the MSG Duran Squared show with 98% less OMGs and more words? Click here.

• To hell with Ron Burgandy, and to hello with Ron Mexico, aka Michael Vick and his herpes lawsuit alter ego! [via Badger Dadger]

• Ms Mod previews the new Stripes’ disc.

• The OC is filled with more irony than Michael Ironside reading Kornheiser’s Pumping Irony. Case example: playing Daft Punk’s ‘Technologic’ at Trey’s 21st B-day ecstacy bash, followed by LCrapD Soundsystem’s ‘Daft Punk Is Playing At My House’.

• Be the only person on earth to own a UW-Whitewater Warhawks sweater. Whilst there, u can also find one of the answers to this week’s umpossible crossword… which no one has yet to hand it. Tsk tsk, all over yer floppy disks.

• What was the #1 song on YOUR b-day? Sorry Debby Boone, but you don’t ‘Light Up My Life’. [via 1,2,3, Look @ Mr Lee. 3,4,5, look @ him jive!]

• I promise, THIS is the last Terri Schiavo-related thing I ever post! [via Zach de la Roachclip]

• April Golden Showers Bring My F$%king Urine All Over Your Effing Ooh-Jah!

• Ever wonder what me and the Mrs. do in our free time at Corn Palace? Besides being forced to watch hours upon zours of Cuthy’s highlight reels, 24 high-beam stizz included, we sometimes juss kick it and play Grambs‘ fav, Donkey Kongas! [link help via Juwanamaker/Brawny Man]